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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Cage:
Caging hasn't included cumming in one's pants since Cage was a wee little Cage of 13 or so, so I'm not sure there's much of a connection between that and quins.



Although I'd imagine that were you to cum in your kecks now, the mess would be rather easier to clean up, what with the bald nutsack and all. Like a teflon pan, just wipe clean.

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:15 PM
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DevilMoon
passive stalker?

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: zanzibar
Posts: 10594
Post

Melesse

I once heard Paint saying in #wota how he's really into felching. I am not exactly sure what he meant, but go for it.

DM

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:18 PM
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MadBomber
=()

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 1353
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Pangloss:
what with the bald nutsack and all.




how is it that people are aware of the state of others testicular hair here? I mean seriously .. what is the source of your information and why do you retain it? I plan to forget that Cage has a smooth sack in about 3 minutes.

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:20 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

quote:
Originally posted by MadBomber:
how is it that people are aware of the state of others testicular hair here?



Because the pervy fuck volunteers this shit freely! You think I want to know this stuff? Jesus...

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:24 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Pangloss:
Although I'd imagine that were you to cum in your kecks now, the mess would be rather easier to clean up, what with the bald nutsack and all. Like a teflon pan, just wipe clean.




Perhaps. Though, if memory serves, I wasn't exactly hirsute at the tender age of 13, so it probably wouldn't have been all that different.

The main problem at the time was that I involuntarily blew a load in my drawers while perusing a porno mag in the neighborhood bookstore. Subsequently, I had to try to exit nonchalantly and then ride my bike home. So, by the time I got home and was able to evaluate the damage, things had dried up some and begun to stick together. That's what made the clean up difficult.

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At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:25 PM
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MadBomber
=()

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 1353
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Pangloss:
Because the pervy fuck volunteers this shit freely! You think I want to know this stuff? Jesus...




I'm sorry .. what were we talking about?

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:26 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Wink

For your sake, Cage, I hope your excitement threshold has increased somewhat.

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:27 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

We were talking about my nutsack! Pay attention, son.

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:28 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Pangloss:
For your sake, Cage, I hope your excitement threshold has increased somewhat.




Of course. That event very quickly led to the discovery of masturbation, which very quickly led to a great deal of toughening of the skin in the area in question. I am now able to use my penis in place of a pot holder, when removing cookie sheets, casserole dishes and the like from the oven.

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At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:33 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Cage:
... the discovery of masturbation ... great deal of toughening of the skin in the area ... when removing cookie sheets ...


I only asked because I'm concerned about your lack of female companionship. You were supposed to respond with lots of manly shit to boost people's impression of your masculinity. Jesus man! What do we know now? That you are a calloused, cookie-baking wanker? This isn't helping your case. Work with me man!

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:38 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Pangloss:
For your sake, Cage, I hope your excitement threshold has increased somewhat.




Ok. I'll try it again, this time with the insecure manly crap:

Why? It would just take me that much longer to blow my load. Sure, during a blowjob, that would ensure a longer period of silence from the broad in question. However, it would also mean that I would miss more of the football game while giving her the high, hard one. Oh yeah, and if I last too long, then I might end up making her come, then she might get it into her head that sex is supposed to be enjoyable for her, too. As a wise man once said, "Slippery slope, pigfucker".

How's that?

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At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 09-07-2000 08:57 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

Much better. That's the shit. Now you head out and act like that and they'll be queuing up at your door. Honestly, women love that insensitive, couldn't-give-a-fuck kinda guy. Screw all the 'oohhh I let her cum first' stuff. Those guys loose out big time on the real action out there. Every guy I know who is a decent individual get's shat upon by the fairer sex. Whereas the real mean 'pigfuckers' have a whale of a time and always have real jaw-droppers of stories to tell. You can play the sensitive angle later. Try for when you're in your early 30's. That's when they'll appreciate a man who can out last them and bake some cookies while they sleep.

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:03 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Lightbulb

There's a pretty broad line between being a nice guy and being a doormat. Given the choice between the extremes of arrogant prick and the spineless doormat, it seems most women will choose the prick.

Desperation is pretty much the least attractive quality there is. The nicer you are, the more danger you're in of appearing desperate. In fact, I think it's safe to say that most women are overly sensitive about it. Trying to tell one of those overly sweet, puppy dog-like, annoying people that you could never be attracted to them is probably one of the least comfortable situations one can experience. If they've had to do it once, they'll very like avoid anybody who seems like there's even the slightest chance that they might, possibly end up being anywhere near that.

That's why it always seems like as soon you get a girlfriend or -- jebus help you -- get married, the chicks are all over you. It's because you don't seem as much like you're on the verge of dry-humping their leg.

As hard as it may be for you to believe, I've pretty much got the "meeting women" part down. Now if only I could figure out the "opening up and sharing yourself" crap that they eventually need...

Anyway, my point is that you don't have to be an abusive prick to get laid. You can be nice and even chivalrous and crap. The key is to do so without it coming across as contrived and desperate.

Damn. That was all kind of serious and shit. Ummm...Look! Boobies!



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At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:23 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

Funky tan lines too.

Yes, you are quite correct. There is a fine line which exists between appearing desirable and appearing desperate. It's an uncanny coincidence that they are so close in the dictionary. According to the mini dictionary in my office here, that fine line runs from desist to desperado. Coincidence? Anyway ...

I think different strategies are called for at different times of life. What you and what the chicks you desire want is a dynamic thing. At your current stage, about 26-ish (?), you are heading out of the hinterland of the 20-something relatyionship. The chicks of the same age are also starting to have random thoughts about 'settling down' and shit like that. This, my friend, is when they are at their most vulnerable. Get out there and act like their salvation from adulthood and you'll be laughing.

More titties.


------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:33 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Lightbulb

Would that I could, my man. On the flip side of the "youth is wasted on the young" coin is "wisdom is wasted on the old". I made the mistake of getting involved with my perfect mate at the ripe old age of 15.

Thus, my exploits with other members of the opposite sex have been few and far between. (And my sexual exploits with members of the same sex have been nonexistent. Just didn't want to get your hopes up.)

So I'm stuck flexing my womanizing skills under the catch and release system.

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At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:41 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

Ahh well. 'Tis a song common sung. I too met 'her' at the age of 16 and she had wanderlust beyond what I could influence. 'She' is in France now, and we still write to one another.

Be that as it may, perhaps you are just better off leaving it. The old 'catch and release' is a good method. It can be a bitch trying to get that hook out, and as for holding them by the legs and cracking their heads off the side of the boat ... man, don't even talk to me about that one.

As a wise Fishleader once said, "Fuck 'em, is what I say."

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:47 PM
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Melesse
The Nephilim

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Somewhere deep underground
Posts: 1805
Post

Damnit, I think at least one place I can surf at work is on my own thread I started....Oops, here I am cruising, and naked women on my screen. Now, granted their hot, but that shit can get me fired. Shame, shame on you!!!! Other then that, I love it.

Cheers,
melesse

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Look at me, Jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day, it's all downhill from here.

-American Beauty

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Old Post 09-07-2000 09:59 PM
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Pangloss
feu follet

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: 54.60N 5.70W
Posts: 1950
Post

Heading home for dinner now.

If anyone has any serious objections to Cage and I staging shamless thread takeovers like these, you'd better tell us now. No one is safe! Mwahahahah!

*scratches nuts*

*leaves*

------------------
Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me, I am stupid and blind
Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boy's empty mind
Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad

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Old Post 09-07-2000 10:26 PM
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Melesse
The Nephilim

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Somewhere deep underground
Posts: 1805
Post

For some reason I was expecting some more creativity here.....*sigh*

Cheers,
Melesse

------------------
Look at me, Jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day, it's all downhill from here.

-American Beauty

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Old Post 09-08-2000 06:52 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 31611
Re: Pointers

quote:
Originally posted by Melesse
Well, Paint Chips wants me to pleasure him, and as I am not a girl, I need some pointers from girls. What sort of thing do you think Paint would like?....
Paintipoo is all about de poop. No matter what you do for him, throwing some poop into the equation is sure to please.

Amen.

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Old Post 03-30-2018 07:12 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

There's poop in Einstein's famous equation also.

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Old Post 03-31-2018 02:20 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 31611

Howd that happen?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Howd that happen?

Amen.


Because of what it originally stood for:

E
nema=MuchCacadoodie squared.

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Old Post 04-06-2018 11:43 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 31611

I absolutely hate it when I have a squared cacadoodie. The good Lord did not give us square buttholes. Pushin out one o them Einsteined turds is like trying to drive a square peg through a round hole. Its brought many a grown man to tears.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

You need more bran in your diet. And not Raisin Poop.

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