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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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When our lawn mower broke down, my wife kept hinting to me to get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first; the shed, the boat, making beer. There was always something more important to me. Finally, she thought of a clever way to drive home her point.

On that fateful day, I arrived home to find her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I observed in silence for a short time and then went in the house. I was gone for only a minute. When I came back outside, I handed her a toothbrush and said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

My doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 06-10-2018 10:47 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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You keep treating your wife, my favorite aunt, so horribly.

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Old Post 06-15-2018 04:33 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32043

That was her story and she always stuck to it.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 06-15-2018 08:51 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Even under tough cross-examination?

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Old Post 06-17-2018 02:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32043

Tough cross-examination? Oh, hell no. Back-talking, at a minimum, earned a trip to the ER.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 06-17-2018 04:09 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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The doctor will see you now.

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Old Post 06-18-2018 02:54 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32043

Frankly, Id prefer a nurse help nurse me back to health. Two would be even better.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 06-19-2018 at 01:20 AM

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Old Post 06-18-2018 05:03 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Nurse Ratchett?

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Old Post 06-20-2018 04:23 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32043

Nurse Sucharetza?



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 06-24-2018 07:55 PM
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