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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
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Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years
One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.
A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen.
His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?"
"Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, um, she got fired, too."

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Old Post 12-02-2017 02:33 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Amen.

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Old Post 12-03-2017 04:32 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-20-2017 07:38 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Old Post 12-24-2017 11:09 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-28-2017 02:45 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Q: What do you get when you cross a pickle with a deer?

A: A dill doe.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-30-2017 03:23 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Not many people know that a city in Texas was named after a pickle. It's absolutely true!

Dill Paso.

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Old Post 01-07-2018 12:08 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Q: What is green and pecks on trees?

A: Woody Wood Pickle!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-07-2018 04:43 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Very few people realize this little known historical fact: The very first symbol of International Communism was, oddly enough, the Hammer and Pickle. I'm sorry they changed it.

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Old Post 01-07-2018 04:40 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Me, too. BTW, have you ever heard of Odysseus Dell Pickles? No surprise, as very few have. Sometimes, due to various pressures and rationales, names evolve. When Odysseus began his career, he shortened it to ODell Pickles, having been persuaded the name was too difficult to pronounce. Even though he was in the laugh business, it soon became evident his shortened name had taken on a joke-generator life of its own with him as the brunt.

The writing was on the wall. In a short time, voila! ODell Pickles was no more and ...drum roll... Don Rickles was born!

And now you have the rest of the story.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-07-2018 05:13 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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That makes me want to drop my pants and fire a rocket!

Love the Paul Harvey reference.

Don Rickles' Pickles! You bite into them...and they bite back!

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Old Post 01-07-2018 06:04 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Well, if ol Don had had a lick o sense, he woulda got outta the Pickles n Rickles bidniss and went for the gold with Don Dickels.

Whatta they say bout hindsight (is that short for hineysight?)? Point is, Don coulda been a Dickels, dammit!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-08-2018 12:11 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Don Rickles' Pickles 'n Dickles. So good, it tickles.

Brother, can you spare two nickels?

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Old Post 01-08-2018 02:16 AM
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Sorry Herk, but the the only thing that comes to mind is Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians.

On second thought, maybe its an omen. Do you think that maybe, just maaaybeeee, our futures so bright we gotta wear shades? Deep stuff, nephew.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-08-2018 04:21 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Sorry Herk, but the the only thing that comes to mind is Edie Brickell & The New Bohemians.

What about Jonathan Winters' Maudie Frickell?


quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart

Do you think that maybe, just maaaybeeee, our futures so bright we gotta wear shades? Deep stuff, nephew.


Our future is going to be very strange.

We'll be wearing lamp shades!

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Old Post 01-08-2018 04:57 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
...Our future is going to be very strange.

We'll be wearing lamp shades!

Heckle n Jeckle with speckled testicle spectacles!

Somebody could get rich.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-11-2018 12:40 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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On January 9, 2018, troopers stopped a 2003 Ford F-150 with Ohio registration for following too close on Interstate 475 in Lucas County. Criminal indicators were observed and a Patrol drug-sniffing canine alerted to the vehicle. A probable cause search revealed 493 grams of marijuana worth $5,000 in the vehicle. The driver, Ryan Scheerer, 43, of Fremont, was charged with trafficking in marijuana, a fourth-degree felony and possession of marijuana, a fifth-degree felony.

Attachment: marijuana-01-09-18-logo.jpg
This has been downloaded 19 time(s).

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Old Post 01-12-2018 05:51 PM
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Large Filipino
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That's not even worth half that. 2 grand at best.
In fact,that's 17.6 ounces and at a hundred an ounce that's $1,760.00 not 5 grand.

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Old Post 01-12-2018 05:52 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

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Kosher as fuck though.

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Old Post 01-13-2018 12:36 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

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This is like masturbations.

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Old Post 01-13-2018 12:37 AM
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Coincidence
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You need a new schtick.

One might say this subject is drained and has become dry and tasteless.

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Old Post 01-13-2018 04:59 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
You need a new schtick.

One might say this subject is drained and has become dry and tasteless.


Dry and tasteless. Like an old cunt.

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Old Post 01-13-2018 11:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Herk, whos the dryest and most tasteless cunt you know? Intimately, of course.

Inquiring cunts wanna know. Ya know?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-14-2018 04:47 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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My granma.

Yes, Uncle Jeb, our family is very close!

Perhaps too close for some.

Especially for the cops.

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Old Post 01-14-2018 08:31 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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I PROMISED!!!!

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Old Post 01-15-2018 04:36 AM
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