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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33004

Get on your feet you god damn faggot.

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Old Post 01-13-2018 04:51 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Where the fuck are your goddamn manners???

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Old Post 01-14-2018 07:36 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
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Is it simply coincidence that “faggot” rhymes with “maggot”? I doubt it. I obviously underestimated our conflicted Dane. I’m afraid he’s gonna pierce his nips and there’s nothing anyone can do to change his mind.

On the bright side, this is news you can snooze.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-14-2018 10:51 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by bunkum
Talarohk ... How did you become a squid, by the way? One of my dearest friends here was nicknamed "squid" by her husband.
Bunkumnumnumz, Tal was a FB prophet. He had a vision and saw the squidification coming before anyone else.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-23-2018 02:47 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Binkum, I know you’re a-lurkin’ out there. I've been curious for many years now about something. Specifically, you had no qualms about posting a pic of you sittin’ on the shitter. A righteously bold statement, I might add. But, my question is this:

Why izzit you could post a pic of you sittin’ on the crapper, but couldn’t bring yourself to bless us with a much needed pic of yer boobarinis? I ask because you, of all people, are keenly aware of the importance of baby feeders to the general welfare of the Asylumnation.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-13-2018 05:28 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I'm watching the Olympics now and it's very weird to think that Bruce Jenner has tits now.

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Old Post 02-18-2018 06:56 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Herk, just be thankful you’re not married to one o’ them Kardashians, or you’d be well on your way to becoming Herkamina.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-18-2018 03:54 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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I could never be married to a Kardashian. I'm white.

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Old Post 02-18-2018 05:30 PM
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J E B Stuart
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What if bunkum had gender reassignment? Oh Bunknubs. What have you done?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-01-2018 03:38 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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I guess she'd be Bunky!

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Old Post 03-02-2018 05:06 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Well, I thought about praying for Bunkum’s speedy return, but that quickly became problematical, too. In this new day and age of inclusiveness, etc., I’m afraid I would run afoul of the morality police were I to invoke the name of “The Father, Son, and The Holy Ghost”. Should I now say “The Person, Kid, and The Holy Goat?

This is tough.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-02-2018 04:49 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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A kid is a goat so you must say child.

However, here at the Asylum, we just say whatever the fuck we want to say.

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Old Post 03-02-2018 04:54 PM
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J E B Stuart
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You don’t say?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-05-2018 02:07 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I speak only with permission. And if I don't get permission, I just say what the fuck I want anyhow.

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Old Post 03-05-2018 02:17 AM
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J E B Stuart
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But, what if The Loretta made you her sex slave? Essentially, a sexslave4moo?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-05-2018 02:40 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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When I was FeFe's sex slave I never had so much fun until she betrayed me and stole my fortune. So when The Loretta tried to get me to be her sex slave, I pushed her down the stairs followed with a boiling pot of hot coffee followed with my golf clubs followed with a broiler pan followed with a car radiator followed with an old window ledge followed with 3 bags of cement followed with my bowling ball followed with a glass frame followed with 5 cans of tomato paste followed with the complete works of Shakespeare followed with a pair of Don Alvaro's tweezers and my favorite gerbil.

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Old Post 03-05-2018 03:49 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Dadgummit, Herk. What about your sink? How could you forget the kitchen sink?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-06-2018 05:24 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
I could never be married to a Kardashian. I'm white.
Herk, things may be changing. They recently held white balls for the first time:



Maybe it's a sign.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-07-2018 08:22 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
When I was FeFe's sex slave I never had so much fun until she betrayed me and stole my fortune. So when The Loretta tried to get me to be her sex slave, I pushed her down the stairs followed with ... a pair of Don Alvaro's tweezers and my favorite gerbil.
WHAAAT?!? Not the TWEEZERS!!! Sweet Mother Mary and Joseph.

Did you take complete leave of your senses, Herk? Better not let Fefe la Queefie find out. You don’t need me to tell you what she’ll do.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-08-2018 07:45 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I certainly don't need you to tell me to tell you what I will tell her to tell me to tell you.

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Old Post 03-10-2018 07:01 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
I certainly don't need you to tell me to tell you what I will tell her to tell me to tell you.

GRASSHOPPA!! What the fuck am I talking about?!

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Old Post 03-10-2018 07:04 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Herk. The tell is not the hell of Fefe Queefie.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-10-2018 07:07 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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I have no beefy with FeFe Queefie, Chiefy.

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Old Post 03-10-2018 07:10 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Well, I can tell by the smell you fell under the spell of the Belle of Queefie Hell.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-10-2018 07:21 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Though not small, and rather tall, I often fall for the Belle of the Ball, y'all.

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