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J E B Stuart
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Yeah, tigerjez.



Why, that li'l doggie gits more pussy than them sissyboy whiners.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 06-12-2005 at 11:28 PM

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Old Post 05-16-2005 05:01 AM
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tigerjez
World Beater.

Registered: Dec 2003
Location: a constant state of wrath
Posts: 1460

"Poor pussy. Poor pussy cat."

Incidentally, I am not a dog person. But, my friends who have a dog had a funny story...

About a year ago, their male french poodle, Buddy, was hot to trot for the pureblood, pedigreed AKC lab bitch across the street. The little hussy got loose one day and ran into my friends' house. Buddy, went to town-- no small feat given the hussy's considerable relative girth and height.

My friends came upon the pair having hot doggie love. Since their neighbors could easily be extras in Christopher Guest's Best In Show, the figured breaking the lovers up would be a good start to avoiding a trip to small claims court. Apparently, however, dogs get...er... "stuck" when they go to town. And, despite the fact that the fickle Buddy had lost interest in the hussy, he remained "stuck" to her for a good 2 hours. Now, I don't know exactly what went on, but when Buddy tried to race to the other room, it supposedly got a little ugly.

Do most dogs get "stuck" when they mate?

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Old Post 05-16-2005 05:40 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by tigerjez
. . . Do most dogs get "stuck" when they mate?

Yep. Can't pry 'em loose with a crowbar.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-16-2005 05:58 AM
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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
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Thank GOD humans don't have that problem.

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You're in the wrnght place.

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Old Post 05-16-2005 09:55 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
Thank GOD humans don't have that problem.

I hope yer sure 'bout that . . .



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-16-2005 03:57 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by tigerjez
. . . Do most dogs get "stuck" when they mate?

And not only that, but while "stuck", they are quite powerless to fend off vigorous cornholings by opportunistic gay mutts:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-17-2005 04:53 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
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Posts: 32949
Ph34r teh baculum

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
I hope yer sure 'bout that .
Amen.



Well, as sure as one can be while wearing pants.
Here's another to the collection, courtesy of the owned thread:



Maybe that's something to consider at the chili cookoffs, punish those weak, burning rectums.

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Old Post 05-17-2005 08:58 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Talking Re: Ph34r teh baculum

quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
Well, as sure as one can be while wearing pants.
Here's another to the collection, courtesy of the owned thread:

*image snipped*

Maybe that's something to consider at the chili cookoffs, punish those weak, burning rectums.


HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Dickel pernts ahoy!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-17-2005 10:06 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Ignatz has trained her Fido well:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-18-2005 12:06 AM
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SimpleSimon
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Registered: Dec 2002
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Her dog is the size of a labrador, but marked like an aussie blue heeler, not tan.

I know that is not her dog - tell Loretta to retreive her device.

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Old Post 05-18-2005 12:12 AM
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ignatz mouse
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I owe Simon a defense against bestiality point.

Attachment: herky.jpg
This has been downloaded 209 time(s).

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Old Post 05-18-2005 02:33 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
Her dog is the size of a labrador, but marked like an aussie blue heeler, not tan.

I know that is not her dog - tell Loretta to retreive her device.


Dang, SS. You mean to tell me that ignatz has been cheatin' on her dog with Loretta's mutt? Has she no shame? Jeebus.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-18-2005 05:31 PM
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SimpleSimon
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I'll pass on this one.

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Old Post 05-18-2005 06:16 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-18-2005 06:45 PM
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J E B Stuart
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"Darn tootin', it's Rasputin!"

Every exceptional humour thread, such as this masterpiece, needs the occasional breather from levity. Therefore, ponder this brief bite of history:


One time a long time ago, somebody cut off this Russian dude's ying-yang and put it in a jar with some stuff to keep it from getting rude and smelly.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-20-2005 10:49 PM
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Aydin
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Is that the Mtter Museum in Philly?

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Old Post 05-23-2005 02:23 PM
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aminal
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nope - still not funny

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aminal
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Old Post 05-23-2005 02:25 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by Aydin
Is that the Mtter Museum in Philly?

Aydin, here is a link.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-23-2005 05:42 PM
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SimpleSimon
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There is a great song about rasputin, by an otherwise totally forgettable jamaican group called Boney M.

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Old Post 05-23-2005 05:46 PM
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Aydin
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My professor played that song in my Russian Revolution seminar.

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Old Post 05-23-2005 06:31 PM
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SimpleSimon
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quote:
Originally posted by Aydin
My professor played that song in my Russian Revolution seminar.


Good for him - I maintain it ought to be a part of the course materials of any study of that period of russian history.

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Old Post 05-23-2005 07:27 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by aminal
nope - still not funny



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-24-2005 01:48 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Aminal, you've been hung-up waaay too long on this brown monkey vs. black monkey thing.

You gotta learn t'be the chihuahua.



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-24-2005 08:42 AM
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Dacarlo
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Re: "Darn tootin', it's Rasputin!"

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart

One time a long time ago, somebody cut off this Russian dude's ying-yang and put it in a jar with some stuff to keep it from getting rude and smelly.

Amen.



RAH! RAH!

Looks like they failed on both counts. Yuk!

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Old Post 05-24-2005 09:21 AM
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Dacarlo
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A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side,then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "faaaaaaark dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

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Old Post 05-24-2005 05:13 PM
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