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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

Elephant who is into bestiality? What next?

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Old Post 07-23-2005 11:02 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53109

oink.

Attachment: mating.jpg.jpg
This has been downloaded 176 time(s).

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 07-24-2005 07:20 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53109

errrrr?

Attachment: v3053064.jpg
This has been downloaded 175 time(s).

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 07-24-2005 07:23 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
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Neither the boar nor the giraffe are practicing bestiality.

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Old Post 07-24-2005 11:58 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53109

oh.

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 07-24-2005 06:34 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32263

quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
oh.

Don't worry, ol' pal. I'm pretty sure the giraffes are homo.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-25-2005 12:10 AM
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Mordecai
.

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 23169

http://expressgaynews.com/2005/5-27...ews/bushart.cfm

-m

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Old Post 07-25-2005 12:59 AM
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Roshigoth
The Cheesemeister

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 18000

quote:

I thought it was good, but I thought Bush should have been the top, Yoculan said.



Classic.

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Old Post 07-25-2005 04:02 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
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Redneck Doorbell

Bet this makes aminal envious:



Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-26-2005 02:48 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

Ha! I know where one like that is!

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:07 AM
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PNG
you'd eat it

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: different
Posts: 8176

quote:
Originally posted by Mordecai
http://expressgaynews.com/2005/5-27...ews/bushart.cfm

-m



educated fags are called gays

__________________
everything that irritates us about others, can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
(C) jung

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:14 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32263

quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
Ha! I know where one like that is!

Heh. I'm gonna build a new house here pretty soon. Know where I can get one fer my front door?

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:18 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

What animal do you want to use? I know a taxidermist who does all kinds of gag mountings like that. He mounted a squirrel for a guy I know in Houston with a motorized video cam in the head - you walked into the sensor field, the squirrel sat up, turned toward you, and looked you dead in the face. Creepy little thing.

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:24 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32263

quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
What animal do you want to use? I know a taxidermist who does all kinds of gag mountings like that. He mounted a squirrel for a guy I know in Houston with a motorized video cam in the head - you walked into the sensor field, the squirrel sat up, turned toward you, and looked you dead in the face. DCreepy little thing.

Can he furnish the animal? I ask because I don't hunt.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:26 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

Hell, do a peccaries ass like that one appears to be, but hook a pressure mat up below the door mat, have the tail lift and the button light when someone steps on it.

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:28 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
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Posts: 28687

He likely can, as long as it is not too exotic. He knows a hell of a lot of hunters.

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:29 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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I'll give ya a holler when the time comes. It'd be a hoot.

I had a lot of fun quite a few years ago, drivin' my '74 Cadillac Coupe DeVille around with a big, larupin' saco de toro hangin' from my rearview mirror. I'll never forget the time I had a female passenger who was especially straight-laced. We were on our way to the TV station to do a little taping for a public service announcement. This gal was so damn nervous, she was about to have a litter o' kittens; she kept mutterin' under her breath and lookin' at scriptures from a well-worn New Testament she brought with her.

Anyway, before we arrived at the station, I saw out of the corrner of my eye that she'd apparently taken a pause from her mumblin' 'n' scripture readin to focus her eyes on ol' "saco". She slowly reached over with her left hand and began gently stroking the empty nut-hut until the synapses in her brain made the connection as to just what'n hell that big, hairy thang wuz.

The look of horror and disgust on her face as she recoiled from the well-furred jewel sack was priceless. O' course, immediately thereafter, she doubled the intensity of her scripture yappin' and, as far as I could tell, didn't so much a sneak nary a peek at it, again.

To this day, I'd wager she washed 'n' scrubbed the hide offa her hand when she got to a restroom.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 07-26-2005 at 05:07 AM

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Old Post 07-26-2005 03:48 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

Hahaha! Great story. My grandfather had a tobacco pouch he'd gotten from his uncle, who allegedly collected and tanned it himself. I can remember clearly the look of absolute horror on my neighbors face when she came over one time when gramps was visiting. He pulled out his tobacco pouch, and preceeded to fill his pipe from it. The neighbor lady stared, and stared some more. Finally, she asked g'pa just what kind of leather the pouch was - so he handed it to her to examine.

She turned it over in her hands a couple times, then looked closely at the bottom of the pouch, and positively turned green as she realized she was holding the tanned skin off a woman's breast, complete with nipple. Grampa loved shocking folks with that squaws tit.

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Old Post 07-26-2005 04:11 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32263

HAHAHA!!!

Okay. Where wuz I? Oh . . .

A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a pickup truck. She wanted a fast little sporty car so
she could zip through traffic around town.

He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.

"Look!" She said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up, so surprise me!"

Surprise her, he did. For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Nobody has seen or heard from him since.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-26-2005 05:03 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

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Amish Teen Charged With Stealing Numbers

This TRUE STORY belongs in this thread, no question about it:

HUNTSBURG, Ohio - Callers complaining about loud music coming from a buggy led deputies to charge a 19-year-old Amish man with stealing house numbers and flower pots. David Byler was charged with theft and underage consumption of alcohol, both misdemeanors.

Callers to the Geauga County sheriff's office told dispatchers early Sunday about a buggy playing loud music and stealing items from outside houses in a rural area of northeast Ohio.

"When our officer caught up with him in the middle of the road, there were flower pots and house numbers in the buggy," sheriff's spokesman John Hiscox said.

From Yahoo

Jeebus, I'm still laughin'.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-26-2005 10:43 PM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
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Well, as Weird Al would have it, "we'll party like it's 1699".

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Old Post 07-27-2005 01:47 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32263

I really don't know what to say 'bout this'n . . .



Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-28-2005 06:10 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

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I didn't know tapirs came in a poland china phenotype. Great pic.

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Old Post 07-28-2005 06:19 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
I didn't know tapirs came in a poland china phenotype. Great pic.

Heh. Looked kinda like a coupla deformed Hampshires t'me.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-28-2005 06:26 AM
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J E B Stuart
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In my next life, I'd just as soon not come back as a cucumber. Most anything but a cucumber.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-01-2005 04:35 PM
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