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Hawley Griffin
.308 winchester

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: AMERICA
Posts: 19903

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
-mark twain

__________________
"too many people have opinions on things they know nothting about. and the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have."
-euphorbia

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Old Post 06-04-2005 03:50 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

I failed.

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 06-04-2005 05:05 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

quote:
Fight for the sake of God those that fight against you, but do not attack them first. God does not love the aggressors.


MMMM... So what's these suicide bombers about?

Source

Holy shit.

quote:
Quotes from Islam's Most Famous Spokesman
A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However, he should not penetrate; sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however, does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl's sister.
Ayatollah Khomeini

It is better for a girl to marry in such a time when she would begin menstruation at her husband's house rather than her father's home. Any father marrying his daughter so young will have a permanent place in heaven.
Ayatollah Khomeini

A man can have sex with animals such as sheeps, cows, camels and so on. However, he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village; however, selling the meat to the next door village should be fine.
Ayatollah Khomeini
(Quotes above are from Khomeini's book, Tahrirolvasyleh, vol. 4, Darol Elm, Gom, Iran, 1990, Source: Homa)

If one commits the act of sodomy with a cow, an ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even their milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed and as quickly as possible and burned.
Ayatollah Khomeini

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

Last edited by Large Filipino on 06-06-2005 at 12:00 AM

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Old Post 06-05-2005 11:54 PM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

Kinky old bastard, wasn't he?

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Old Post 06-06-2005 12:37 AM
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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

Memorable Quotes from
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit. Get the fuck off of my obstacle. Get the fuck down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.

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Private Joker: The dead know only one thing: it is better to be alive.

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Crazy Earl: These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with guns. These people we wasted here today are the finest human beings we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anyone around that's worth shooting.

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Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full metal jacket.

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Private Joker: My thoughts drift back to erect nipple wet dreams about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the Great Homecoming Fuck Fantasy. I am so happy that I am alive, in one piece and short. I'm in a world of shit... yes. But I am alive. And I am not afraid.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Today... is Christmas! There will be a magic show at zero-nine-thirty! Chaplain Charlie will tell you about how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God and a few marines! God has a hard-on for marines because we kill everything we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Marine Corps! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?

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Private Cowboy: Don't shit me, man!
Private Joker: I wouldn't shit you. You're my favorite turd!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Today you people are no longer maggots. Today you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

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Private Joker: Leonard, if Hartman finds us here, we'll be in a world of shit.
Private Gomer Pyle: I *am*... in a world... of shit.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.
[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman grabs Pvt. Cowboy by the shirt]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?
Private Cowboy: Sir, no Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You little piece of shit you look like a fucking worm, I bet it was you.
Private Cowboy: Sir, no Sir!
Private Joker: Sir, I said it, Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well, no shit. What do we have here, a fucking comedian! Private, Joker! I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister!
[Gunnery Sgt. Hartman punches Pvt. Joker in the stomach]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up off your face! Pvt. Joker you better unfuck yourself before I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
Private Joker: Sir, Yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps!
Private Joker: Sir, to kill, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: So you're a killer!
Private Joker: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then let me see your war face!
Private Joker: [nervously] Sir?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You got a war face! ARRRRRRRRRGH! That's a war face, let me see your war face!
Private Joker: Ahhhh!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, you didn't convince me, let me see your REAL war face!
Private Joker: Ahhhhhh!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You still don't scare me! Work on it!
Private Joker: Sir, yes sir!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any fucking effort to get to the top of the fucking obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn't he?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke pieca' shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddam common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you think I'm cute Private Pyle; do you think I'm funny?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then wipe that disgusting grin off your face.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well any fucking time sweetheart!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I'm trying, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: ONE! TWO! THREE!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I can't help it, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit! Get on your knees scumbag.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Now choke yourself.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Goddamn it, with my hand numb nuts.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Don't pull my fucking hand over there. I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [choking Pyle] Are you through grinning?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, I can't hear you.
Private Gomer Pyle: [Louder] Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit, I still can't hear you. Sound off like you've got a pair.
Private Gomer Pyle: SIR, YES, SIR!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That's enough; get on your feet. Private Pyle you had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pyle, you climb obstacles like old people fuck.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tonight, you men will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful.

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Private Cowboy: You know there's not a single horse in the entire country of Vietnam? There's definitely something wrong with that.

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Private Cowboy: I think what she's trying to say is that you black boys pack too much meat.

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Pogue Colonel: Marine, what is that button on your body armor?
Private Joker: A peace symbol, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Where'd you get it?
Private Joker: I don't remember, sir.
Pogue Colonel: What is that you've got written on your helmet?
Private Joker: "Born to Kill", sir.
Pogue Colonel: You write "Born to Kill" on your helmet and you wear a peace button. What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?
Private Joker: No, sir.
Pogue Colonel: You'd better get your head and your ass wired together, or I will take a giant shit on you.
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Now answer my question or you'll be standing tall before the man.
Private Joker: I think I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.
Pogue Colonel: The what?
Private Joker: The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Whose side are you on, son?
Private Joker: Our side, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Don't you love your country?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Then how about getting with the program? Why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win?
Private Joker: Yes, sir.
Pogue Colonel: Son, all I've ever asked of my marines is that they obey my orders as they would the word of God. We are here to help the Vietnamese, because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out. It's a hardball world, son. We've gotta keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.
Private Joker: Aye-aye, sir.

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Animal Mother: You a photographer?
Private Joker: I'm a combat correspondent.
Animal Mother: Well you seen much combat?
Private Joker: I've seen a little on TV.
Animal Mother: You're a real comedian.
Private Joker: Well they call me the Joker.
Animal Mother: Well I got a joke for you. I'm gonna tear you a new asshole.
Private Joker: Well pilgrim, only after you eat the peanuts out of my shit.
Animal Mother: You talk the talk. Do you walk the walk?

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Private Joker: I wanted to see exotic Vietnam... the crown jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

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Animal Mother: If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

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Private Joker: A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

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Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is V.C. Anyone who stands still is well-disciplined V.C.

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Door Gunner: Anyone who runs is a V.C.! Anyone who stands still... is a well-disciplined V.C.!

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Chili: You weren't on Operation Hastings, Payback. You weren't even in country.
Private Payback: Oh, eat shit and die, you fucking Spanish American. You poge.

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[Cowboy is sending Eightball to investigate an area for enemies]
Private Cowboy: Eightball, let's dance.
Private Eightball: Put a nigger behind the trigger!

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[Hartman is calling off assignments to the newly christened Marines]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker!
Private Joker: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Forty-two twelve, basic military journalism. You gotta be shitting me! You think you're Mickey Spillane? You think you're some kind of fucking writer?
Private Joker: Sir, I wrote for my high-school newspaper, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Jesus H. Christ, Joker! You're not a writer, you're a killer!
Private Joker: A killer, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Gomer Pyle! GOMER PYLE!
Private Gomer Pyle: [stares blankly] SIR, YES SIR!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You forget your fucking name? Oh-three-hundred, infantry! You made it!

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Private Joker: How can you shoot women and children?
Door Gunner: Easy... you don't lead 'em so much.
[laughs]
Door Gunner: Ain't war hell?

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Private Joker: I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister. What'll you take in trade?
Private Cowboy: What do you got?

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Da Nang Hooker: Hey, you got girlfriend Vietnam? Me so horny. Me love you long time.

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Private Eightball: What we have here, little yellow sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake. But it ain't too goddamned beau coup.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?
Private Joker: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly.
Private Joker: Sir, the private said "no, sir," sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit.
[Slaps Joker]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out.

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Marines: [chanting] This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [Chanting] This is my rifle.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [Grabbing their crotches] This is my gun.
Marines: This is for fighting.
Marines: [Grabbing their crotches] This is for fun.

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Private Cowboy: Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.
Private Joker: What was the matter with him?
Private Cowboy: He was jerkin' off ten times a day.
Private Eightball: No shit. At least ten times a day.
Private Cowboy: Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division.

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Private Eightball: Personally, I think, uh... they don't really want to be involved in this war. You know, I mean... they sort of took away our freedom and gave it to the, to the gookers, you know. But they don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free, I guess. Poor dumb bastards.

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Animal Mother: Well, if you ask me, uh, we're shooting the wrong gooks.

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T.H.E. Rock: You're going home now.
Crazy Earl: Semper fi.
Donlon: We're mean marines, sir.
Private Eightball: Go easy, bros.
Animal Mother: Better you than me.

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Private Joker: Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
Private Cowboy: Hey, start the cameras. This is "Vietnam - the Movie."
Private Eightball: Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne. I'll be a horse.
Donlon: T.H.E. Rock can be a rock.
T.H.E. Rock: I'll be Ann-Margret.
Doc Jay: Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.
Crazy Earl: I'll be General Custer.
Private Rafterman: Well, who'll be the Indians?
Animal Mother: Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.

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Private Eightball: Hey, what the mother fuck?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy dog shit. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Did your parents have any children that lived?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'll bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

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Animal Mother: All fucking niggers must fucking hang.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: When you two pukes are done here, I want you to clean the head.
Joker and Cowboy: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I want that head so sanitary and squared-away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do I make you nervous?
Private Cowboy: Sir?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Sir" what? Were you about to call me an ASSHOLE?

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[Referring to Lee Harvey Oswald and mass murderer Charles Whitman]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do any of you people know where these individuals learned how to shoot?... Private Joker.
Private Joker: Sir. In the Marines, Sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: In the Marines. Outstanding. Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his rifle can do. And before you ladies leave my Island, you will all be able to do the same thing.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on you will speak only when spoken to, and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be sir. Do you maggots understand that?
Recruits: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
Recruits: SIR, YES SIR!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's your excuse?
Private Cowboy: Sir, excuse for what, sir?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I'm asking the fucking questions here private. Do you understand?
Private Cowboy: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well thank you very much, can I be in charge for a while?
Private Cowboy: Sir, yes, sir.

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[Marching Song]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I don't know but I been told...
Marines: I don't know but I been told...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.
Marines: Eskimo pussy is mighty cold.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: MMM, good...
Marines: MMM, good...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Tastes good...
Marines: Tastes Good...
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Feels Good.
Marines: Feels good.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's your name fat-body?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Lawrence? Lawrence what of Arabia?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: That name sounds like royalty are you royalty?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you suck dicks?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, No, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I don't like the name Lawrence, only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence. From now on you're Gomer Pyle.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [after hitting Private Joker] You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers I will teach you. Now get up, get on your feet! You had best un-fuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!

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Private Joker: [narrating] Paris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the phony tough and the crazy brave.

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Private Joker: Ya know, half of these gook whores are serving officers in the Viet Cong; the other half have got T.B. Be sure you only fuck the ones that cough.

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Private Eightball: Believe it or not, but under fire, Animal Mother can be a wonderful human being. All he needs is somebody throwing grenades at him 'til the end of his life.

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Private Joker: Sir, does this mean Ann-Margaret's not coming?

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Private Payback: Joker ain't never been in the shit. He thinks "The Bad Bush" is between old mama-san's legs.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is this Mickey Mouse shit? What are you two animals doing in my beloved head? Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights out? Why is Private Pyle holding that weapon? Why are you not stomping Private Pyle's guts out?
Private Joker: Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine that is locked and loaded, Sir!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: A jelly doughnut?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How did it get here?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then why did you try to sneak a jelly doughnut in your foot locker, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I was hungry, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you were hungry...
[turns and addresses rest of platoon]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored his platoon. I have tried to help Private Pyle. I have failed. I have failed because YOU have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it, ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW, GET DOWN ON YOUR FACES!
[rest of recruits get in front-leaning-rest position, Hartman turns to Pyle]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Open your mouth!
[shoves jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: They're payin' for it; YOU eat it!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's your name, scumbag?
Private Snowball: Sir, Private Brown, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit! From now on your name is Private Snowball. Do you like your new name?
Private Snowball: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Well I'll tell you one thing you won't like, Private Snowball: they don't serve fried chicken and watermelon on a daily basis in my mess hall.

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[being interviewed]
Animal Mother: What do I think about the U.S. involvement in the war? We should win it.

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[when Private Pyle is on the obstacle course]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Get your fat ass up there! I'll bet if there was some pussy up there you would get up there, wouldn't you?
Private Pyle: Sir, yes sir!

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[after Joker kills the sniper]
Private Rafterman: [laughs] Hey joker, we ought to put you up for the congressional medal of... ugly! ha-ha!
Donlon: Hard core man, hard core.

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Private Joker: Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong! And his senior drill instructor will beat him harder if he reverses himself, sir!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker is silly and ignorant, but he's got guts. And guts is enough.

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle!
Private Gomer Pyle: Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, Private Joker is your new squad leader, and you WILL bunk with him! He'll teach you everything; he'll teach you how to pee!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, aye aye, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker, he's silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts and guts is enough. Now you two ladies carry on!
Private Gomer Pyle, Private Joker: Sir, aye aye, sir!

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Joker, why did you join my beloved Corps?
Private Joker: Sir, to kill sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: So you're a killer?
Private Joker: Sir, yes sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Let me see your war face.
Private Joker: Sir?
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You got a war face? AHHHHHHHH! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face.
Private Joker: Ahh!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Bullshit! You didn't convince me. Let me see your real warface.
Private Joker: Ahhhh!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You don't scare me! Work on it.
Private Joker: Sir, yes sir!

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Animal Mother: Fuck you Cowboy, fuck all of you assholes!

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[the recruits have administered a "sock party" beating on Private Pyle]
Private Cowboy: Remember, this was all just a bad dream, fat boy!

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[an ARVN pimp and his hooker drive towards the Marines]
ARVN pimp: Do you want number one fuckee?

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Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [after discovering Private Pyle's unlocked footlocker] Jesus H Christ. Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I don't know, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate, it is an unlocked footlocker! You know that don't you?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: If it wasn't for dickheads like you, there wouldn't be any thievery in this world, would there?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: GET DOWN!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Lockhart: [reading] ... we have a new directive from M.A.F. on this. In the future, in place of "search and destroy," substitute the phrase "sweep and clear." Got it?
Private Joker: Got it. Very catchy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Door Gunner: You should do a story about me sometime
Private Joker: Why should we do a story about you?
Door Gunner: Because I'm so fucking good

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Pick 'em up and set 'em down Pyle!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Do you feel dizzy? Do you feel faint! Jesus H. Christ! I think you've got a hard-on!

Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/quotes

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euphorbia
caustic milk - hybrid

Registered: Apr 2001
Location: behind the irony curtain
Posts: 19147

quote:
Kisses, you doubt my virility?
I'll bugger you and stuff your gobs


callitus

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taste the fucking rainbow & dont touch my junk.

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Rokkr
Completely Wack

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere Better Than Here
Posts: 16974

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the american public."
H.L. Mencken

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cw
cuntacular wench

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 7539

Time is of your own making;
its clock ticks in your head.
The moment you stop thought
time too stops dead.

Angelus Silesius


“To read is to make love to the world. To make love to a woman is to feel like the world is reading you."

General Armiger

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Old Post 06-06-2005 04:46 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

HEY! How come Dacarlo didn't fail?

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I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
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Old Post 06-06-2005 04:52 AM
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cw
cuntacular wench

Registered: Apr 2003
Location: . o O
Posts: 7539

Friedrich Nietzsche:
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.

Edward R. Murrow:
Most truths are so naked that people feel sorry for them and cover them up, at least a little bit.

Gloria Steinem:
The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.

Josh Billings:
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

From here.

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Old Post 06-06-2005 05:18 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Quotes from Pee-wee's Big Adventure:

Mickey: I'm bad, Pee-wee. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner. A rebel.
Pee-wee: Deja Vu.

After Pee Wee passes out
Texan: What's your name?
Pee-wee: I don't remember.
Texan: Where are you from?
Pee-wee: I don't remember.
Texan: Do you remember anything?
Pee-wee: I remember... the Alamo.
Texans cheer

Pee-wee: Go ahead and scream your head off! We're miles from where anyone can hear you!

Pee-wee: The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting...

Madame Ruby: For twenty dollars I can tell you a lot of things. For thirty dollars I can tell you more. And for fifty dollars I can tell you *everything*.
Pee-wee: Tell me why I'm here first.
Madame Ruby: You're here because you... want something!

Dottie answers the phone
Dottie: Hello?
Pee-wee: Hi, Dottie, it's Pee Wee!
Dottie: Pee Wee? Where are you calling from?
Pee-wee: Texas!
Dottie: Huh?
singing
singing and clapping

Simone: I know you're right, Pee-wee, but...
Pee-wee: But what? Everyone I know has a big but. C'mon, Simone, let's talk about YOUR big but.

Pee-wee: Is this something you can share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

At a life-size diorama in the Alamo
Tour group responds, "Adobe."

Tina: Yes, there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, all of which I'm going to tell you about right now!

Pee-wee walks into a noisy biker bar to use a pay-phone
Pee-wee: Shhhhhhhh! I'm trying to use the phone!
Biker #1: Did anybody tell you that this is the private club of the Satan's Helpers?
Pee-wee: Nobody hipped me to that, dude.

Biker #2: I say we kill him!
shouts
Biker #3: I say we hang him, then we kill him!
shouts
Biker #4: I say we stomp him!
shouts
Biker #4: Then we tattoo him!
shouts
Biker #4: Then we hang him!
shouts
Biker #4: And then we kill him!
shouts
trying to throw voice without moving lips
shouts

holding a pen
Chip: Uh... it's a pen.
Pee-wee: Exactly! I bought this pen one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I don't know!

Pee-wee: I'm here to see Francis!
Butler: Francis is busy.
Pee-wee: Busy doing what?
Butler: He's having his bath.
Pee-wee: Oh, really? WHERE ARE THEY HOSING HIM DOWN?

Pee-wee: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, billion, trillion dollars!
Francis: Then you're crazy!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're a nerd!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're an idiot!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Pee-Wee, Francis: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? (Pee-Wee): Infinity!
Francis: No, I'm not.
Francis, Pee-Wee: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
Francis: Shut up, Pee-Wee!
Pee-wee: Why don't you make me.
Francis: You make me!
Pee-wee: Because. I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.
Francis: Pee-Wee listen to reason.
Pee-Wee cuffs his hand around his ear in a listening motion
Francis: Pee-Wee!
Pee-wee: Sh! I'm listening to reason.
Francis: Pee-Wee!
Pee-wee: That's my name, don't wear it out.
Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding passed my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?
Pee-wee: I love that story.
Jumps on bike and pedals away
Francis: You'll be sorry, Pee-Wee Herman!

Francis: Today's my birthday and my father says I can have anything I want.
Pee-wee: Good for you and your father.
Francis: So guess what I want.
Pee-wee: A new brain?
Francis: No. Your bike!

Pee-Wee looks at Mickey's hand as he is wearing one handcuff
Pee-wee: What did you do?
Mickey: Well, I lost my temper and I took a knife and I uh-. Do you know those "Do Not Remove Under the Penalty of Law" labels they put on mattresses?
Pee-wee: Yeah.
Mickey: Well I CUT one of them off!
Pee-wee: Jee.
Mickey: Yeah, I have a real bad temper.
Pee-wee: Boy, I always thought that was the dumbest law.

Pee-wee is offering a $10,000 reward to whoever finds his bike
Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!

Pee-wee: Have a nice day.
Large Marge: Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya! Heh heh heh heh heh.

Pee-wee has been picked up by a trucker
Pee-wee: Some night, huh?
Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, along this very stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building... And when they pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...
Turns to Pee-wee and makes grotesque face
Pee-wee: Aaaaaahh!
Large Marge: Yes, Sir, the worst accident I ever seen.

Pee-wee: Large Marge sent me.
Patron: Did you say Large Marge?
Pee-wee: She just dropped me off.
Patron: That's impossible. She's... It was ten years ago on a night just like tonight. Worst accident I ever seen.
Pee-wee: That means the Large Marge I was riding with was...
All: Her ghost!

Showing Pee-wee a box of new gags
Mario: Fake blood... Or is it?
Pee-wee: Yuck, no.
Mario: Super stink bomb?
Pee-wee: Have some.
Mario: Shrunken head?
Pee-wee: No.
Mario: Regular sized?
Pee-wee: No.
Brings out enormous head
Pee-wee: Noooooo!
Mario: Trick gum? Headlight glasses? And how about an Australian Boomerang bowtie?
Pee-wee: 'Come in red?

Kevin Morton: Doesn't it look like I'm ready? I am always ready! I have been ready since first call! I am ready! Roll!

Tina: There's no basement in the Alamo!

As hotel desk clerk; in deep voice

Source

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I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 06-06-2005 12:34 PM
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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
HEY! How come Dacarlo didn't fail?


Coz FMJ owns.

"To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour." - William Blake

"There's a demon insider her who came from Hell
And he turned my eyes from God, and oh, I fell
He put the heat inside me I'm ashamed to tell
Without my God inside I'm just a burning shell

The sin of Eve she was in her I know so well
For want of her I know I'd give my soul to sell"

Notredame de Paris lyrics from "Belle"

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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
Quotes from Pee-wee's Big Adventure:

Mickey: I'm bad, Pee-wee. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner. A rebel.

Pee-wee: Thats ok coz I'm a filthy pedo.

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Hawley Griffin
.308 winchester

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: AMERICA
Posts: 19903

Dacarlo and Large Filipino are both failures, commit suicide kids, no one likes you.

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"too many people have opinions on things they know nothting about. and the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have."
-euphorbia

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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
Posts: 11486

avant garde is french for bullshit - john lennon

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"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." ~ Castaneda

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dogcow
brucoš

Registered: Apr 2005
Location: europa
Posts: 11486

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity." - Albert Einstein

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

__________________
"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same." ~ Castaneda

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cornelius
Quixotic landmass

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Holy shit
Posts: 1150

There's nothing as overrated as bad sex,
and nothing as underrated as a good shit.

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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Navajo Prayer

"Beauty is before me,
And beauty is behind me.
Above and below me hovers the beautiful.
I am surrounded by it.
I am immersed in it.
In my youth I am aware of it,
And in old age I shall walk quietly
The beautiful trail."

__________________

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I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 06-07-2005 12:07 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Quotes from Chief Sitting Bull:

"If the Great Spirit had desired me to be a white man he would have made me so in the first place. He put in your heart certain wishes and plans, and in my heart he put other and different desires. It is not necessary for eagles to be crows."

"I am here by the will of the Great Spirit, and by his will I am chief. I know Great Spirit is looking down upon me from above, and will hear what I say..."

"The earth has received the embrace of the sun and we shall see the results of that love. He put in your heart certain wishes and plans; in my heart, he put other different desires.

"In my early days, I was eager to learn and to do things, and therefore I learned quickly. Each man is good in the sight of the Great Spirit."

"Now that we are poor, we are free. No white man controls our footsteps. If we must die, we die defending our rights."

"What white man can say I never stole his land or a penny of his money? Yet they say that I am a thief. What white woman, however lonely, was ever captive or insulted by me? Yet they say I am a bad Indian."

"What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken?"

"Is it wrong for me to love my own? Is it wicked for me because my skin is red? Because I am Sioux? Because I was born where my father lived? Because I would die for my people and my country? God made me an Indian."

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Old Post 06-07-2005 12:13 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Awesome reading

I bet it would have been cool to gather around the peace pipe and listen to these people back in that day.

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Old Post 06-07-2005 12:18 AM
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Straightman
Preaching The Funk

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: The Mothership
Posts: 597

"Little Tommy Daggett, you would say such beautiful, beautiful prayers. And then you would hop into bed, afraid that I was under there--and I was!"

Lucifer: "We need to talk"
Catherine: "I can't... I can't do this..."
Lucifer: "I can Lay you out, and fill your mouth with your mother's feces...or we can talk."

Viggo Mortensen as Lucifer

Best Lines in the movie.

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All internet tough guys pass through three stages. First they are ridiculed. Second they are violently flamed. Third they claim to be Marines.--Straightman.

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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28687

quote:

From where the sun now stands I will fight no more forever.

Chief Joseph

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Hawley Griffin
.308 winchester

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: AMERICA
Posts: 19903

"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
-J. Paul Getty

__________________
"too many people have opinions on things they know nothting about. and the more ignorant they are, the more opinions they have."
-euphorbia

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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Here are some Beavis & Butthead Quotes...

"Whoa. Is this like the weather channel?" "Yeah, eh heh heh, the forecast is partially cool."

"These guys are cool - for a bunch of mimes." Beavis & Butthead (about Kiss)

"Drums, guitar and Death. They finally got it right."

"Bootsie!" "Yeah, Bootsie's cool. Huh, huhhuhuh." "Bootsie! He's from outer space. Heh, henh, henh, henh."

"Tattoos are cool." "Yeah, I wish I was born with one." "You're not born with tattoos, dumbass. You get them when you join the navy."

"I like to blow up lizards." "Eh heh heh, yeah. And I like to burn things."

"Skulls are cool" - Butthead

"The future sucks. Change it." "I'm pretty cool Beavis, but I cannot change the future."

"I don't like video's that suck"

"You're a man? Eh heh heh, I don't think so." "He's not even a boy." Beavis & Butthead (about Boy George video)

"Calm down Beavis. You're gonna soil your drawers."

"Hey Beavis, let's pretend we're dead." "Yeah, eh heh heh, that would be cool."

"Look, I'm strokin' my wiener."

"These chicks look like guys." "Yeah. That one's not wearin' a bra." Beavis & Butthead (about Nelson)

"Hey Butthead, do you think I'm beautiful?"

"College music sucks!" "Yeah. I guess it's only cool, if you, like, go to college."

"Everything I know, I learned from my Dad." "Yeah. Me too." "Really? You both have the same dad?" "We don't know. It's possible."

"I wish this video had some explosions. That would be cool." "Heh heh henh hmm heh. It does have some explosions. Heh henh hmm." "Fairies grant wishes. Huh huh heh huh hunh."

"Hey Beavis." "What?" "Your butt's weird lookin'." "Shut up!" "Heh huh, kinda looks like bologne." "Shut up!"

"He's smiling at you, Beavis." "Shut up, Butthead!" Beavis & Butthead (about George Michael in Wham video)

"I hate words." "Words suck." "If I wanted to read, I'd go to school."

"Hammers are cool." "Yeah, I like to take hammers, and just break stuff, just break stuff."

"She beat her carpet." "Yeah, we should do that." "Yeah. It looks cool."

"He's got a hair stiffy!"

"I peed in the gym once." "Really? Yer pretty cool Beavis."

"Hey Butthead, what is teenspirit?" "You mean you don't know? Dude, then I'm not gonna tell you."

"This chainsaw is pretty cool. Pruning is cool."

"If you play this stuff backwards, it says 'This sucks!'" Beavis & Butthead about INXS "The Devil Inside"

"This is like a James Bond movie." "Yeah. They need that short guy, HandJob." "Heh heh heh, you said 'Job'."

"Ah, such a manly soap!" "Ah, manly yes! But Beavis likes it too! Heh heh heh eh he heh heh heh!" "Shut up Bunghole! I'll kick yer ass!" "Heh heh heh eh eh eh heh heh heh" "Shut up, dumb ass!"

"You callin' me a liar?" "No ass-munch, I'm callin' you a waste of bum wipe."

"Hey, we could get Butthead to sit on a glass and fart." "What's so scientific about that?" "Nothin' until you light it."

"The angle of the dangle is inversely proportional to the heat of the beat." "Whow! You're pretty smart, Beavis."

"You asswipe! I was about to have a wet dream!"

"Uhh, I have an injury." "You do?" "Yeah, I have this great big crack in my butt."

"He complains too much." "You'd complain too if you sucked!"

"Today we're going to explore the world of hiku." "We're going to explore the world of getting high? Cool!" "No, beavis, not *high* *cool*, hiku--the haunting japanese form of 3 line poetry."

"That was cool, huh huh when we killed that frog, huh huh it won't croak again." Butthead's Hiku for class

"Huh huh, huh huh huh huh huh mmm, uh huh huh huh huh huh, huh huh huh. Beavis' Hiku for class

"Very good! You both get A's for the day." Beavis and Butthead: Mr Van Driessen about B&BH's Hiku

"Anything?" "Nope." "Are you sure you're lickin' right? uhuhuh." "Uhuhuh, yeah." "I don't get, it's supposed to pack an awesome buzz." "Ptui! Hmmmmm, tastes like chicken. Here toadie, toadie." Beavis & Butthead licking a frog

"Are you the boys that spray-painted my dog?" "Uh, no, that was some other guys, huh huh."

"Are your shakes made from ice cream and milk, or do you use that reconstituted shake mix stuff?" "Yeah, heh heh hmmh heh heh" "I asked you a question, are they real or shake mix?" "Yeah, heh heh hmmh heh heh" "Look, let me see your manager?" "Uh, huh huh, I'm an assistant manager, is there something I can help you with?" "I asked a simple question, are your shakes real or made from shake mix?" "Uh, we have vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry."

"Uh... it's like free, I guess." "Heh heh, He's gonna eat a fried mouse." "And bugs." "And he's coming back later!" "I know where there's a dead racoon!"

"I hate when mimes get in your face and don't say anything." "Yeah, I usually kick them in the 'nads and they say something. Usually it's ooh...unh...aahh."

"Try the morphine, it's excellent today."

"Okay boys, what do you have under your clothes?" "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Is he talking about humping a hound? Huh huhuhuh huh." "Heheh henh henh hmm heh. Yeah, that'd be cool. Heh heh hmm henh." "It would?"

Background: (flush of a toilet) "Butthead! Butthead! Come quick! Bare ass on TV!!"

"Trunks are cool. I wish I had a trunk." "Yeah. You could, like, fill a balloon with snot and throw it at someone." "Yeah, and it would get in their hair and get all sticky and they couldn't get it out." "Let's go buy some balloons, dude."

"I wonder how Axl Rose would feel if he got his ass kicked by a couple of 14 year olds." "Yeah, that would really suck. Getting your asses kicked by Kris Kross. Heh Hehheh, henh hmm, heh, heh."

"Hunguhhunguhruhruhruhruhrurhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruh!!!!!!" "Rurhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhruhrurh!!!!!!" (Butthead trying to sing Ministry's "NWO")

"Hey look, he's wearin' a drive-thru headset! Maybe he works at BurgerWorld!" "(picks up phone) Uhh, hello? I'll take a quarter pounder and a dozen chicks in tight shorts to go, please." "Heh hehehehhehehheheheh heheheh." "(simultaneously) huh huh huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh huhuh."

"Mr. Buzzcut! Mr. Buzzcut!" "Yes, Butthead?" "I can't do this assignment. I'm dietetic."

"We don't know how to take care of a baby." "Let's give it a bath." "I'm gonna slap you around like a red-headed step child." "Uh oh..." "You drowned it." "We'll never get to see it grow up."

"And so it is with utmost regret that I must report that our baby was stolen by gypsies in the night." "Yeah, sorry about that. Heh heh."

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

Last edited by Large Filipino on 06-08-2005 at 12:23 AM

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Old Post 06-08-2005 12:11 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
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Posts: 28687

LF, dacarlo, you are both stupid shitheads.

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Old Post 06-08-2005 12:17 AM
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