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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Damn! That gerbil went flying out of his ass pretty good, didn't it?

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Old Post 02-04-2018 04:48 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Like a gre ... er ... gerbil launcher?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-04-2018 05:14 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Thanks to Farnum, NASA modified their rocket propulsion models.

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Old Post 02-04-2018 05:52 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Huh? Are you saying NASA is gonna use gerbil-powered rockets now?

What'll they think of, next? Mercy.



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-05-2018 05:43 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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That's how we run our fans over here. Don't laugh, that's how we save a fortune in our electric bill.

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Old Post 02-05-2018 09:25 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Hey Herk, animal power is no laughing matter. In fact, I have it on good authority Loretta has a sex toy powered by a team o 20 mules. Just like Death Valley Days.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-05-2018 06:49 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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When the toy is not available, Loretta simply fucks the mule.

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Old Post 02-07-2018 11:45 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
When the toy is not available, Loretta simply fucks the mules.
FTFY, Herk.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-08-2018 02:16 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Heffernan spells c-o-u-r-a-g-e

Heffernan was ahead (no pun intended) of his time. Chief architect of what was originally known as the HeToo movement, in time the gender specific pronoun was eschewed in favor of the inclusive #MeToo. All thanks to a man by the name of Heffernan who had the courage to speak up.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-10-2018 02:44 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Chief Sitting Bull was the architect of the #leantoo movement.

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Old Post 02-10-2018 03:23 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Wow. That does make sense. Ive suspected for quite some time you were Chief Shitting Bull in a previous life.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-10-2018 06:15 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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You speak with forked tongue paleface.

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Old Post 02-10-2018 11:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Paleface? PALEFACE!!!

Herk. You thilly boy. Are you twying to twigger me?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-11-2018 06:30 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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I said forked tongue... I didn't say Bugs Bunny. Sheeth!

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Old Post 02-11-2018 07:08 AM
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J E B Stuart
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I wonder if Heffernan prefers forked or unforked?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-11-2018 10:06 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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It depends what tine it is.

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Old Post 02-12-2018 12:35 AM
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J E B Stuart
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I have it on good authority that whenever Heffernan is battered, he starts speaking in tongues and carries on like that for 2-3 hours afterward.

I never pegged him as particularly religious. Takes all kinds, I suppose.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-12-2018 01:53 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Heff is now studying the Koran AND the Torah and has changed his name to Mohammad Schwartz.

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Old Post 02-12-2018 07:19 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Really? Ol Farnum a/k/a Heffernan a/k/a Schwartz is becoming something of a name-chameleon. I wonder if hes kin to Tonto Goldstein? You know who Im asking about, Herk. Everybody calls him Bubba.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-12-2018 07:28 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Dang. Will wonders never cease?! Heffernan knocked me down yesterday when I was walking by the YMCA. He came barreling out the front door, barefoot and shirtless, with a look on his face that I can describe only as one of sheer fear and panic.

Anyway, I immediately sprang back to my feet and knocked him off his. As he lay on the sidewalk, he started crying and blubbering, P-P-PLEASE MISTER! DONT HURT ME NO MORE!!! WAAAA!!

When I saw his face, I recognized him as none other than the infamous Heffernan. So, I leaned forward and extended my hand to help him up. As I did, he rolled over, sprang to his feet, and ran like crazy, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Id already made my point, so I certainly didnt give chase. A couple seconds later, however, The Loretta burst through the front door bellowing, WHERE DID HE GO?!?!? WHERE IS MY BRUUUUCIEEE!!

Sweet Jeebus. I did NOT stick around to ask her why in hell she was dressed up like a lumberjack with a firemans helmet. No sireee, I ran like hell, as fast as I could and as far as I could, away from that beast from hell.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 02-23-2018 at 04:37 PM

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Old Post 02-22-2018 02:27 AM
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J E B Stuart
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This just in:

"(FNU) - New Jersey resident Bruce Heffernan was just arrested by the Border Patrol as he was attempting to cross the wall into Mexico. He is being held for mental evaluation. More on the 6 o'clock news."

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-25-2018 08:59 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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After he drinks the water, he'll come back.

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Old Post 02-25-2018 09:11 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Clearly, we need a wall to keep him in.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-25-2018 10:38 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Who's going to pay for it? And what if the jackassaz picks him up in his balloon?

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Old Post 02-26-2018 04:07 AM
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J E B Stuart
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I hope that jackass floats him over the wall. The Federales will pop his balloon like a bubblegum bubble and toss em both in a Mexican prison. Thatd be a winner, winner, frijole dinner!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-26-2018 06:15 AM
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