Your whole "I dress like an office drone and act respectable and then sit on forum where we discuss urethra fucking and public torture" bit still creeps me out. I bet it would creep out your co-workers even more.
Me and my chubby little 6-month-old niece. Yes, I am a first time uncle and have absolutely no idea what I'm supposed to do when I hold her. I think I'm getting better at it though.
My parents just built a house on a lake and moved in two weeks before Christmas. My sister sent up this very, um..., patriotic lighthouse. It's pretty cool looking though and lights up pretty well for just one solar powered LED light.