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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18339

It seems like I'm seeing a lot more news articles about spousal murder, and many more articles than I've ever seen. It seems like it's rampant. My wife tries to kill me every day....with her cooking.

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Old Post 07-05-2019 02:49 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34411

Your wife’s cooking reminds me of when Fred was still alive and we went to your house to watch The Dog Whisperer. It was Fred’s favorite show.

Your wife had made Shepherd’s Pie for dinner and she let Fred lick the spoon while she was slopping a heaping helping onto your plate. Well, Fred took one lick and immediately let out a pitiful yelp. He then commenced running in a circle, furiously licking his butt, in a desperate attempt to get the taste out of his mouth.

As luck would have it, Fred finally lost his balance and stumbled over your cat’s kitty litter tray. He chomped down on one o’ your cat’s nougatty “tootsie rolls” and finally calmed down.

After that, Fred always crawled under the bed whenever I mentioned going to your house. I didn’t have the heart to pull him out, so that’s why I never brought him back to your place.

Amen.

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Last edited by J E B Stuart on 07-06-2019 at 01:47 AM

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Old Post 07-06-2019 01:35 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18339

You know that we loved Fred and all these years I thought it was something I said.

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Old Post 07-06-2019 02:37 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34411

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
You know that we loved Fred and all these years I thought it was something I said.

Oh heavens no, Herk. Fred loved humpin’ your leg because you always talked dirty to him. You really knew how to get his motor runnin’.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-06-2019 07:32 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18339

Is that when he had the nervous breakdown when you refused to bring him back to our house because of the Shepherd's Pie?

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Old Post 07-06-2019 03:52 PM
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