The Asylum   Search Private Messages Options Blogs Images Chat Cam Portals Calendar FAQ's Join  
Asylum Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.8 Asylum Forums > The Lost Forum > I am psycho bait
Pages (11): « 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 »   Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread [new thread]    [post reply]
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

It seems like I'm seeing a lot more news articles about spousal murder, and many more articles than I've ever seen. It seems like it's rampant. My wife tries to kill me every day....with her cooking.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-05-2019 02:49 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

Your wife’s cooking reminds me of when Fred was still alive and we went to your house to watch The Dog Whisperer. It was Fred’s favorite show.

Your wife had made Shepherd’s Pie for dinner and she let Fred lick the spoon while she was slopping a heaping helping onto your plate. Well, Fred took one lick and immediately let out a pitiful yelp. He then commenced running in a circle, furiously licking his butt, in a desperate attempt to get the taste out of his mouth.

As luck would have it, Fred finally lost his balance and stumbled over your cat’s kitty litter tray. He chomped down on one o’ your cat’s nougatty “tootsie rolls” and finally calmed down.

After that, Fred always crawled under the bed whenever I mentioned going to your house. I didn’t have the heart to pull him out, so that’s why I never brought him back to your place.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 07-06-2019 at 01:47 AM

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-06-2019 01:35 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

You know that we loved Fred and all these years I thought it was something I said.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-06-2019 02:37 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
You know that we loved Fred and all these years I thought it was something I said.

Oh heavens no, Herk. Fred loved humpin’ your leg because you always talked dirty to him. You really knew how to get his motor runnin’.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-06-2019 07:32 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

Is that when he had the nervous breakdown when you refused to bring him back to our house because of the Shepherd's Pie?

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-06-2019 03:52 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

No. Fred never had a nervous breakdown. He just got old and died.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-23-2019 04:45 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

He faked his death. He's living with me now.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-24-2019 11:28 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

Horseshit. Fred was murdered by The Loretta’s pussy.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-29-2019 12:37 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

Holy smokes! So now I know. My wife was trying to kill me last night!!

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 07-29-2019 12:56 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

Oh, okay. So that’s why your breath smells like surströmming.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 08-04-2019 at 05:21 PM

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-04-2019 04:58 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

Which might explain the distance that people keep from me. What is stronger than Listerine?

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-05-2019 02:55 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Oracular_Jinx
Old hag

Registered: Oct 2001
Location: In a place that is mostly too hot or too cold.
Posts: 3253

Gargle with rubbing alcohol and peroxide. Actually, don't. For all I know you would make mustard gas in your mouth... (and I really am not actually trying to kill you)

__________________
Ni! Ni!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-05-2019 11:57 PM
Oracular_Jinx is offline Click Here to See the Profile for Oracular_Jinx Click here to Send Oracular_Jinx a Private Message Find more posts by Oracular_Jinx Add Oracular_Jinx to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

I think I'll use hydrochloric acid.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-08-2019 05:22 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
I think I'll use lysergic acid.

FTFY, Herk. 👍🏻

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-11-2019 04:31 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

I just changed my mind.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-11-2019 04:37 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

That’s okay, just as long as you don’t mind your change.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-11-2019 04:47 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

I don't mind my change, but I mind my manners.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-11-2019 04:50 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
...I mind my manners.

You can’t say that anymore, Herk. It’s personners. Got it?

Now, go mind your personners. Chop-chop!

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 08-18-2019 at 02:26 AM

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-13-2019 08:07 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

Is chop-chop said in Mandarin? I mean persondarin?

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-18-2019 02:11 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
Is chop-chop said in Mandarin? I mean persondarin?

How the hell would I know? Ask grasshoppa.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-18-2019 07:59 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

How the hell would grasshoppa know?

And don't talk about gerrymandering again. It's gerrypersondering. Can you personage that?

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 08-18-2019 04:56 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
How the hell would grasshoppa know? ..,

How the hell will you know what grasshoppa would know unless you ask him? Give him some free condiments and he’ll spill his guts.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 09-15-2019 05:32 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

If that's the case, then I'll have to stop off at McDonald's and grab some.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 09-15-2019 07:52 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 35012

He’s still waiting for his condiments. What’s the holdup?

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 09-26-2019 04:51 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18803

My car won't start.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 09-26-2019 05:42 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
All times are GMT. The time now is 08:29 PM. Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Pages (11): « 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 [9] 10 11 »   Last Thread   Next Thread
Show Printable Version | Email this Page | Subscribe to this Thread

Forum Jump:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
 

< Contact Us - The Asylum >

Copyright © 2014- Imaginet Inc.
[Legal Notice] | [Privacy Policy] | [Site Index]