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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

Mars Needs Moms

OK, where to start? When I heard it was originally a book by Berkeley Breathed my interest was peaked. Seriously, the author of Bloom County wrote a sci-fi story, cool! Then I seen it was a Disney pic... fuck. It all goes downhill from there.

There is too much of a reliance upon the animation to carry the film. In fact, the animation gets totally in the way of the story. They did a great job in parts of capturing the actors faces and such but overall they just went nuts with it and it got out of hand. Yet another film that relies on special effects to cover up shitty writing.

And what the hell was up with the constant scenes of the characters falling? Yeah, Mars has only 38% the gravitic attraction as Earth, but they show the characters falling for miles at a time (repeatedly into a giant piles of scrap iron no less) and they just jump up like it never happened. My ass.

There is a scene at the end of the film that actually got me bitching loudly at the screen. Humans running across the surface of Mars with no spacesuit. WTF? Mars has at most 1% of the atmospheric pressure of Earth. Lets not forget an average temperature of -67F. And yet they run across the surface like it's a park in Nevada or something. Just at sunrise no less where the temps would be the coldest. They would have been swollen, freeze-dried, meat-cicles in just a couple of seconds.

And last but not least, there is the way they ripped off every alien encounter/abduction story ever (and badly at that. Trust me, I could go for an hour describing the ways they stole ideas and fucked them up.) Hell, even the poster was a ripoff of the classic Close Encounters poster of the kid looking out the front door. It's just one big ripoff of ideas one after another.

To sum it up, this movie sucked. And yes, it's just a cartoon but shit like the surface scenes are just inexcusable.

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Old Post 08-25-2011 03:37 AM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: The 'Knife
Posts: 4730

nice review tefl, Id never make ore then 10 mins

a side note
while watching "rise of the apes" my cohort said a brilliant thing:
"These Apes really hate glass!"
I found it too funny to not post.
this comment came after many sequences of them jumping trough glass most notable from the office building.
you'd think a smart ape would try and toss a heavey obelect first?
anyways best joke I got out of it

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Old Post 08-25-2011 09:09 AM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

After seeing all the original movies, the TV series, books, comics, and that markymark and the funky bunch version, I think I'm all monkied out. Maybe I'll catch it in a few years but right now the idea just bores me to tears.

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Old Post 08-25-2011 11:23 AM
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Brett
Say no to edit rape

Registered: Jun 2008
Location:
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quote:
Originally posted by Tefl
After seeing all the original movies, the TV series, books, comics, and that markymark and the funky bunch version, I think I'm all monkied out. Maybe I'll catch it in a few years but right now the idea just bores me to tears.




I read this out of context of the previous post and assumed it had to do with The Monkees.


Mars Needs Moms just looked ugly. That motion capture thing Robert Zemeckis has been trying to peddle since Christmas Express has got to stop.

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Old Post 08-25-2011 02:00 PM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
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indeed it's creepy

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Old Post 08-25-2011 05:06 PM
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Brett
Say no to edit rape

Registered: Jun 2008
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the Beaver


if you can get past Mel Gibson's personal life, it's pretty good.

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Old Post 08-26-2011 06:01 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33020

Body of Lies

Another tale of 'We're fucking up in the Middle East, while being incredibly heroic'. Embarrassing movie, really. Leo is totally unconvincing, Crowe is hamming it up, and the story is completely far fetched. Add to that a subplot of childish cross-culture romance and you get... 7.1 on IMDb, I guess. 2.5/10

Edit: Lowered rating after further reflection.

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Last edited by Coincidence on 08-27-2011 at 05:29 PM

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Old Post 08-27-2011 05:11 PM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:
Originally posted by Brett
the Beaver


if you can get past Mel Gibson's personal life, it's pretty good.



and you made fun of me when i recommended the script

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Old Post 08-27-2011 05:32 PM
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Brett
Say no to edit rape

Registered: Jun 2008
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I don't recall that. Previews did make it look kind of stupid.

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Old Post 08-27-2011 05:42 PM
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CRSR
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The Dreamers

I liked the movie in movie stuff cuz, I knew the movies
otherwise its' a uncalled for bit of pornography, I feel bad for the actors. but they all did a good job. worth a watch a guess...but not nearly as much as it should be given the time background it was working with.

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Old Post 08-29-2011 11:36 AM
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CRSR
°Hits Moi!°

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: The 'Knife
Posts: 4730

quote:
Originally posted by Brett
I don't recall that. Previews did make it look kind of stupid.


I think it was Karen that joked about it, sorry. then I linked the script.

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Old Post 08-29-2011 11:38 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33020

Milk.

Suddenly I don't know why I watched this movie.
I guess it kind of won me over in the end, with some of that well made sentimental schmaltz I'm such a gay sucker for.
But really, everyone in this movie is kind of bland scum. Except Emile Hirsch, he was pretty cute. 6.7/10

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Old Post 08-29-2011 04:26 PM
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ignatz mouse
gone with the wind

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: The Wetlands
Posts: 17938

Watch The Mayor of Castro Street instead. Milk was just MEH.

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Old Post 08-29-2011 06:25 PM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

I enjoyed watching Milk but it's not a film I would ever bother with watching twice.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 01:03 AM
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Tex critter
bag of ugly

Registered: Mar 2009
Location: can I pitch a tent in your back yard?
Posts: 654

just watched into the wild damn good flick.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 04:47 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53161

Alexander Supertramp. Yea that was cool. A total idiot in the end but still cool.
When watching The Beaver I can't get over Jodie Foster's eyes. Incredible.

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I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 05:12 AM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 15291

Priest.

Fuck. Just. Fuck.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 05:23 AM
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Lee
l337 h4x0r

Registered: Jan 2004
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I just watched Jesus create life when my sister gave birth. This is far greater than any "movie" you watch in a theater.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 05:56 AM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

Jesus didn't have shit to do with it unless he's a rapist zombie.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 07:01 AM
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retroguy_fawkes
General Smartassery

Registered: Aug 2011
Location: Between Nowhere, and Where Now?
Posts: 1495

Did you eat that baby when it came out?

The environmental impact that one baby makes is justification to eat as many as you see fit. God and that one dude who was too stupid to move when they nailed him down don't want you to destroy this planet that was made just for you.

Babies don't eat cud or have cloven hooves, so its kosher.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 07:15 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33020

They taste like old yoghurt, though.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 08:49 AM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
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FFS Tefl, it's pronounced "Hay Sooss."

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Old Post 08-30-2011 12:07 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53161

Congrats Uncle Lee!

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I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 08-30-2011 01:45 PM
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retroguy_fawkes
General Smartassery

Registered: Aug 2011
Location: Between Nowhere, and Where Now?
Posts: 1495

Eat your baby, or you can't having any pudding. How do you expect to have any pudding if you don't eat your baby!

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Old Post 08-30-2011 02:20 PM
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DRZ
SS: GIFs ARE autoplays!

Registered: Jan 2011
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Fuck me sideways ............ a little gem of a indie film.

Grave Encounters 2010.

Thoroughly enjoyed it in a Blair witch kind of way. Really good, 8/10.

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Old Post 08-31-2011 01:16 AM
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