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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179
Really? You've GOT to be kidding me.

I kid you not. I just made a post on Facebook a few days ago about this very thing.

I went to a Christmas Brunch today for work where we also had to exchange our Secret Santa gifts.Being that I don't really work alongside these people just employed by the same company,I chose a generic type gift to give to my recipient. Hand cream,bath salts,lip balm,body lotion etc...

I came home and started to open my gift. I was like,Oh! Cool! It's probably a night shirt from Victoria's Secret. Sweet! Who hates that? Right?



Cool beans! I'm like a special needs child when it comes to anything that sparkles.No joke.




Excellent! That's a Sweet T!! I pull it out look at the size.Hmmm,it's a small. Last time I fit in a small was before puberty.Oh well, I can make it work.It'll just be a sleep shirt.It's tight,but it fits..How sweet of 'Z' to get me this.I'll have to thank him tonight if he goes to the Christmas party.




So I pick up the box. What? There's more? YES! I really lucked out! What's hidden under that tissue paper!






Really? Are you fucking kidding me? This 'almost' complete stranger bought me panties? Who does that!? Way to go creepy guy. way to make shit awkward.

I'm still grossed out about it.Do I give them back? Just not mention the panties if I see him at the party?


Have any of you received an inappropriate or creepy gift before?

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:12 PM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44684

I received a box of severed squirrel heads in the mail one year, which I thought was pretty strange until I noticed that the package had a post office stamp that read, "RETURN TO SENDER: INSUFFICIENT POSTAGE."

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:30 PM
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mudded
+/-?

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: your liver
Posts: 7452

Yup. I have received panties from women on several occasions. disgusting!

On a more serious note, Best case scenario seems to be a complete lack of situational awareness and tact. Worst case scenario might be sexual harassment pure and simple.

First order of business is to cover your own ass. Is there a HR type person you can confide in off the record?

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:33 PM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

Him He's our Team Supervisor. It could be the whole tact thing. Ermm.. he's also foreign. Not that it means anything, just throwing it out there.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:38 PM
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mudded
+/-?

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: your liver
Posts: 7452

seems like circumventing the chain of command might be in order imo. I will defer to people stateside though. I am not knowledgeable enough about HR issues outside academia.

If a senior faculty member pulled one of these on a female junior faculty member they would be in a world of pain double quick.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:48 PM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

Maybe the guy genuinely has a thing for you and it wasn't meant to be "harassment." He could be an socially awkward penguin that doesn't understand the local taboos. In his country such a gift may be totally acceptable if you have a crush on someone.

Then again, he could also be a creep that pulls his pud when your not looking.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 06:57 PM
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Cockney_Rebel
Scarred for Life

Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
Posts: 9512

As if having a wank was such a bad thing.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:03 PM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44684

quote:
Originally posted by Sookee
Him He's our Team Supervisor. It could be the whole tact thing. Ermm.. he's also foreign. Not that it means anything, just throwing it out there.


Poison his punch at the party. You never want these things to get out of hand.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:13 PM
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Muffy
Crika bait

Registered: Oct 2007
Location:
Posts: 5968

I'd be mortified if my secret santa gave me that - mostly because I'd think my colleagues didn't know me at ALL! I'm definately not a pink anal floss kind of girl. As it was, santa got me booze. Yay santa!

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:17 PM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

quote:
Originally posted by Tefl
Maybe the guy genuinely has a thing for you and it wasn't meant to be "harassment." He could be an socially awkward penguin that doesn't understand the local taboos. In his country such a gift may be totally acceptable if you have a crush on someone.

Then again, he could also be a creep that pulls his pud when your not looking.



That's a bit disturbing, yet funny! hahaha!

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:18 PM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8806

quote:
Originally posted by Muffy
I'd be mortified if my secret santa gave me that


/me writes this down for next year

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:20 PM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

quote:
Originally posted by Muffy
I'd be mortified if my secret santa gave me that - mostly because I'd think my colleagues didn't know me at ALL! I'm definately not a pink anal floss kind of girl. As it was, santa got me booze. Yay santa!


That's the thing,Muffy.Anyone who knows me would never in a million years buy me panties. Ever.(I would have loved getting booze.)

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:26 PM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33019

Run. Just run.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 07:27 PM
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karen
Lesser Satan

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 16643

LOL. I have a feeling your supervisor may have a touch of the Aspergers.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:13 PM
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mudded
+/-?

Registered: Aug 2001
Location: your liver
Posts: 7452

http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

how big is your organization? If it is not small there should be a female higher-up somewhere who knows or is able to define company policy on the issue.

1) If he is a creep and you confront him in secret before letting anyone else in on it he will preempt you on his own terms. You need to safeguard against this somehow.

2) Even if he is not a creep, a person with authority should steer well clear of this sort of thing. Immigration status be damned.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:15 PM
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karen
Lesser Satan

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 16643

the good thing, though, is that you can return those to VS. All of it. even without a receipt.
get something you like, that fits.

also, to answer your original question, I would just say, "Thank you for the thoughtful gift - it was a bit um... inappropriate(laugh), but thank you. Have a Merry Christmas".

You get your point across without too much drama. If it goes any further int he future, report his ass.
Keep the pics of the gift, along with his signed card, for the future.

Last edited by karen on 12-23-2011 at 08:32 PM

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:23 PM
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cruncle
cwuncle

Registered: May 2010
Location: perth
Posts: 6291

since when do you work? i thought you were retired, independently wealthy and dealing with chemotherapy.
send the knickers to drz.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:31 PM
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DRZ
SS: GIFs ARE autoplays!

Registered: Jan 2011
Location:
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You sound like one of those crazy stalkers.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:39 PM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

quote:
Originally posted by mudded
http://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

how big is your organization? If it is not small there should be a female higher-up somewhere who knows or is able to define company policy on the issue.

1) If he is a creep and you confront him in secret before letting anyone else in on it he will preempt you on his own terms. You need to safeguard against this somehow.

2) Even if he is not a creep, a person with authority should steer well clear of this sort of thing. Immigration status be damned.



It's relatively small. But it does sub contract for a very big Company/Organization and it's privately held. I'll have to see who I can approach and discuss the situation with them. I do think he meant no harm and wouldn't want him to lose his job. Thank you for the link,mudded.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:42 PM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

quote:
Originally posted by karen
the good thing, though, is that you can return those to VS. All of it. even without a receipt.
get something you like, that fits.

also, to answer your original question, I would just say, "Thank you for the thoughtful gift - it was a bit um... inappropriate(laugh), but thank you. Have a Merry Christmas".

You get your point across without too much drama. If it goes any further int he future, report his ass.
Keep the pics of the gift, along with his signed card, for the future.



I'm gonna take your advice. It's going to be awkward, but that's life right? Hopefully things will go smoothly. *fingers crossed*

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Old Post 12-23-2011 08:44 PM
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Pinecrika
Muffer's He-beast

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 19847

If he becomes a pest, you have my permission to use one of my stock redneck gun toting pics. Say I'm your cousin and I'm just out of prison and I can't wait to meet him.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 09:59 PM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44684

Yeah, laughter is the best medicine.

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Old Post 12-23-2011 10:20 PM
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rust
Headbugs 40

Registered: Feb 2010
Location:
Posts: 3487

any chance we can see how you look in these before you give em back to this obvious creepazoid!!

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Old Post 12-23-2011 10:59 PM
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GimpyDivo
I DRIVE WOMEN CRAZY!

Registered: Oct 2002
Location:
Posts: 2684

personally,i dont blame him.

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Old Post 12-24-2011 02:59 AM
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magnolia
playground monitor

Registered: May 2008
Location:
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or, you could keep the pics for documentation, keep the shirt and give the guy the panties back with a "it's not appropriate for me to accept such intimate items from a coworker". i've discovered that somehow, in our culture, telling people that something makes one uncomfortable confers moral high ground upon the teller. not quite sure why, but it does.

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Old Post 12-24-2011 05:25 AM
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