" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should notï¿½the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman
I am drinking jim beam white label as always but I need to tell a tale first.
The first time I bought alcohol in a liquor store I went in with guys older than me and I was recognized by a fellow who worked there and knew my mom. He talked only to me and asked me what I needed. Even though I was a couple years too young I handled the exchange and walked out with everything everyone wanted. This is as close as I ever got to being a "good fellow" so I relished it and soon was buying all the beer & liquor for everyone in the band (did I mention I was in a band? I should have) When I finally turned 21 I bought liquor everywhere like an alcoholic whore. This eventually got me arrested (which is another story) but fast forward a few years and I'm a respectable, employed, married guy with a wife and kid. There was only one liquor store in town for a guy like me and long after my wife had left me and took the kid this liquor store was still my stomping ground. When, after many years, I dated again, it was her liquor store as well.
The owner was an older lady and her daughter, a former school teacher, was a notorious lesbian who was incredibly pleasant to talk to probably due to the lack of sexual tension (my girlfriend at the time was incredibly jealous). They treated me like family for the better part of a decade. When my girlfriend inevitably dumped me, the liquor store lesbian was concerned and polite. They stocked my liquor and even gave me free samples to do facebook reviews. This year my local town finally gave up the ghost and voted in beer & wine sales. My liquor store has closed its doors, bought up by my boss for a community center (that will do no good). Now I have to think about where to buy my cases of jim beam white label. I know that to many of you this will seem petty and simple but to me it is shocking and disruptive. I am missing sleep thinking about who will take care of me now. It's 30+ miles to the nearest liquor store not in that town. I need my liquor store clerk to know and accept me. I don't get a lot of acceptance. I get a lot of questions and it makes me want to not drink. And a sober MAC is an angry MAC.
I'm drinking reality right now and it pisses me off.