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jazebelle
Ms Sayang

Registered: Dec 2006
Location: In an apartment
Posts: 4772
Things you shouldn't say to a woman...ever

For a female, I have quite a laid back character I would say. I don't really get offended that easily and take insult jokes well. People make fun of my height all the time and really, how can they not. I'm 5' even. I'm short, even I make fun of my height.

But somethings just draw the line.

Earlier today when I was riding the elevator up to my floor in the office, someone walked in. So I smiled and nodded. I'm always courteous like that. I hardly know this fella btw, so all of a sudden, he says;

You shouldn't wear dresses like that, makes your behind look humungous.

And then he grins and walks out two floors later.

Now tell me, does my ass look HUMUNGOUS in this dress?!

Attachment: humungous ass.jpg
This has been downloaded 87 time(s).

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Old Post 02-20-2013 06:41 AM
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Pinecrika
Muffer's He-beast

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 19847

You need to turn around so we can see your ass to make an accurate assessment. Not that it would matter because most of us would probably lie if it did make your butt look huge, we're trained like that. That's a thing you shouldn't say to a woman...ever

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Old Post 02-20-2013 07:17 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

also, with and without the dress would make it crystal.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 07:39 AM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44689

What the two gents are trying to say is: Yes.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 07:43 AM
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creepy uncle
Anal oops

Registered: Apr 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 16638

Her: Does my ass look big in this?
Me: No, but I look big in your ass.

I've learnt that saying "boil in your own cunt" is a good bridge-burner.

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quote:
Originally posted by creepy uncle
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Old Post 02-20-2013 08:26 AM
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creepy uncle
Anal oops

Registered: Apr 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 16638

Jaz, I'm worried about the spaghetti wiring in the background. Shit's a fire hazard.

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quote:
Originally posted by creepy uncle
My anus is bleeding.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 08:27 AM
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Pinecrika
Muffer's He-beast

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 19847

quote:
Originally posted by Trenchant_Troll
What the two gents are trying to say is: Yes.


Don't listen to the lazy bastard that takes naps six months a stretch.

This line of questioning has gon on since the day Mrs. Oog asked Mr. Oog if the bearskin made her ass look like a mastodon.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 08:50 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33020

Jaze, are you somehow under the impression that the ass is on the front of your body?
You don't look humongous, but you look bigger than I thought. Could be a fault of the dress. In which case, the gentlemen gave you good advice.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 10:02 AM
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skinny
Bone-yard

Registered: May 2006
Location:
Posts: 7081

quote:
Originally posted by Mister Freign
also, with and without the dress would make it crystal.


And without the dress we could judge the front bum aswell... I love a big front bum...oh shit, that's something you never say to a woman, ever!!

You look dandy, Jaz, but you gotta show us that booty now?

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Old Post 02-20-2013 10:07 AM
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jazebelle
Ms Sayang

Registered: Dec 2006
Location: In an apartment
Posts: 4772

Ya know, the idea of this thread was to state things you shouldn't say to a women ever.

Though I realize I should appreciate that everyone's answering my question about my bum!

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Old Post 02-20-2013 10:21 AM
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skinny
Bone-yard

Registered: May 2006
Location:
Posts: 7081
Re: Things you shouldn't say to a woman...ever

quote:
Originally posted by jazebelle


Now tell me, does my ass look HUMUNGOUS in this dress?!



You should have called the thread, Things you shouldn't ask Asylumites?

I did offer one suggestion in my other reply...you're welcome

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Old Post 02-20-2013 10:32 AM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28691

"You shouldn't wear tight pants with those cottage cheese thighs."

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Old Post 02-20-2013 12:45 PM
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skinny
Bone-yard

Registered: May 2006
Location:
Posts: 7081

quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
"You shouldn't wear tight pants with those cottage cheese thighs."


but she may be black, don't they like that kinda thang?

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Old Post 02-20-2013 12:48 PM
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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

quote:
Originally posted by creepy uncle
Jaz, I'm worried about the spaghetti wiring in the background. Shit's a fire hazard.


I mentioned this too. Fucking cable spaghetti is a major pita in my place too. Fortunately its behind the TV mostly.

Jaz's bottom is spot on imho. Though I can't really offer an opinion without being accused of bias.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:01 PM
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skinny
Bone-yard

Registered: May 2006
Location:
Posts: 7081

What's the most sensitive part of a womans body?

Her fat arse.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:07 PM
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DRZ
SS: GIFs ARE autoplays!

Registered: Jan 2011
Location:
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Pretty much all of .. > http://www.asylumnation.com/asylum/...&threadid=58113 is the obvious answer.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:14 PM
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creepy uncle
Anal oops

Registered: Apr 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 16638

"I'm gay, I'm leaving you to try and suck an Australian's cock"

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quote:
Originally posted by creepy uncle
My anus is bleeding.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:21 PM
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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

quote:
Originally posted by skinny
What's the most sensitive part of a womans body?

Her fat arse.



Reminds me of:

Whats the last thing to go through a bugs mind as its hits the windscreen?

Its bum.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:27 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53161

If someone said that to me I would say "But my arse is virgin"
True story.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 01:59 PM
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ignatz mouse
gone with the wind

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: The Wetlands
Posts: 17938

Dear Jaz, You are a hottie. Now stand up straight!

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Old Post 02-20-2013 02:09 PM
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Krunk Fu
Nuke the Whales

Registered: Dec 2012
Location:
Posts: 1366

I do not think you are fat, nor do I see there being an issue with you having a fat ass. Im sure that man has a secret fetish for women who look like 14 year old boys and have no curves because he knows he will get arrested if he acts on his real desires.... 14 year old boys.

With that said... that particular dress I personally would not wear because the a line (cut) on the dress does make the bottom half appear to be wider and gives you a "pear shape" Now, if you are like me, you enjoy having a large bottom half, and probably dont give a fuck.

Obviously, you like the dress because you wear it so next time you see that guy say the following.

"You shouldn't wear slacks like that, they make your dick look tiny!"

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Old Post 02-20-2013 03:34 PM
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Muffy
Crika bait

Registered: Oct 2007
Location:
Posts: 6007

I'm still waiting to actually see some ass.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 07:02 PM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28691

quote:
Originally posted by Muffy
I'm still waiting to actually see some ass.
QFT

Preferably in work out tights.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 09:35 PM
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FuhQall
High Flyer

Registered: Apr 2002
Location: At Home
Posts: 8349

I suggest you not give a fuck about what anyone thinks about your ass, it's yours and therefore only means something to you. If you feel it is too large, then do something about it, if it's just right, don't worry about it, if it's too small, eat more.

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Old Post 02-20-2013 10:34 PM
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ignatz mouse
gone with the wind

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: The Wetlands
Posts: 17938

quote:
Originally posted by FuhQall
I suggest you not give a fuck about what anyone thinks about your ass, it's yours and therefore only means something to you. If you feel it is too large, then do something about it, if it's just right, don't worry about it, if it's too small, eat more.


You need to be more careful ... You are in serious danger of earning a class point for this post.

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