Sorry Sabine I just didn't like the direction it was going and with the nature of the post, I regretted posting it, sorry if I offended someone by my edits though. I do appreciate those who did give their opinion, ignatz that means you too. Thank you!
I agree with coin's first post. It may sound horrible and harsh, but they way I healed was by realising how stupid I was being, Hating my self for a few days, then deciding not to waist another fucking minute on people that will just cause me harm.
quote:Originally posted by gundamgarrett I agree with coin's first post. It may sound horrible and harsh, but they way I healed was by realising how stupid I was being, Hating my self for a few days, then deciding not to waist another fucking minute on people that will just cause me harm.
work on yourself, you cant fix him, don't try.
You agree with coin that someone needs drugs to be around me when I specifically said I met him and he had already been an addict for 10 years and that I had NOTHING to do with his drug use? alrighty then, thanks!
that was me being polite becasue if I spoke my actual opinion It would be way harsher than what he said.
the jist of what I ment was you chose a relationship with an addict, and now you are acting like its the end of the world that it didn't work out. look in the mirror, tell yourself you need to stop being dumb about this guy, and push forward. your a mom and a wife and a business owner, it shouldn't be hard for you to keep busy and keep your mind off of him. Someone on here suggested that I make models when I am depressed, I took that suggestion, and it helped. This is me being nice, I am sorry if I sound like a douche, not the way I ment to... I will do a thread airing my personal laundry in the next day or two and you can take pot shots at me.
I wont take shots at you. My life isn't over because I am having friend issues Garrett, I simply was curious if anyone else had a hard time letting go of a long time friend. When we met I didn't know he was currently using drugs though and didn't know for a long time. I should have walked away then, but I don't consider myself a judgmental person and I tried to be supportive. I ended up being an enabler.
I get the gist of what you all are saying though, I had walked away for a few mos from the friendship for 3 ish mos last year and was a lot happier, I just need to do it again.
I cant wait for your personal laundry thread, bring it bitch!
I'm pretty sure YOU mentioned being married. I can't be fucked looking for the post though.
I only asked because most guys would have a problem with their wives being friends with guys with substance abuse issues.
I think most people would have problems with anyone in their life having a friend with substance abuse issues. That is because we care about our friends and family. No, he didn't like it, but it was my friend and my choice. He doesn't get to pick my friends for me no matter who he is. I am my own person.
Also, I was speaking about mentioning it on this thread.
I think at the beginning yes, but as I learned more about certain things I realized you cannot help people who do not want to help themselves, figured that out about 2 years ago. I then became the "listener" until I realized I was the one suffering and it was affecting me negatively. this is where I stand now. Even as a listener, when you are treated badly, you it begins to wear you down. Why I stuck in as long as I have I don't know, I think it is simply because I am too nice and truly want to be there for people.
I guess if someone was seeing a counselor and constantly calling the counselor a bitch and or lying to them the counselor may choose to refer them out realizing they cannot continue the relationship. Wonder if I can refer out a friend? ha!
I meant mentioning it on this thread Garrett. I guess I forget anything you say will be used against you at a later date when it comes to the internets. Its not a big deal, I was messing with you anyway.
quote:Originally posted by Olaf you cannot help people who do not want to help themselves, figured that out about 2 years ago.
Seems it hasn't sunk in completely, as you are not willing to consider that you may be the problem here.
Your posts here are about how you are just too nice for your own good. You're a listener, you're a helper, you're a real angel. But if this person doesn't need you around, you are probably not so divine in his eyes. Pretty significant, no?
You said you were good friends while he was on drugs, but since he got clean he has withdrawn from you. Is it so crazy to think that the drugs helped him be around you?
This is a crazy question, I know, but have you asked this dude how he feels about this situation? It might just help.
Coin you don't really know the whole situation but let me fill you in on a little bit of info, this person has begged me repeatedly to stick around when I have many times walked away. It isn't like I am forcing myself upon them.
Of course the drugs didn't help him be around me asshole, he is depressed and the lowest of the low BECAUSE he has lived his life on drugs, He has been clean ( as far as I know for 3 months) this will have been the longest time he has been clean in over 10 years. So yes he is miserable, depressed and withdrawn from everyone not just me. Jesus christ, I hope you don't offer your advice to people regularly. I bet if someone asked you why their leg hurt you would say " its cancer you are going to die! "
Being that I just told the dude 2 days ago I was no longer going to be speaking with him and he begged me not to do that, id say no it isn't me. But hey yeah maybe im so fucking horrible I cause someone to abuse any and every drug they can get their hands on, especially when they would disappear for weeks at a time on drug binges, yep all my fault!