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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860
Koans and Contemplation

if I could be allowed to skip the shows
and have decent meals
and read quietly a lot of the time
it would be great
to be a juggalo
but only if my penis gets chopped off somehow

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Old Post 05-27-2013 09:45 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860
one hand, clapping

she is going to have a show
at a small venue
that features six spoken word performances
by herself
and two acoustic guitar performances by her ex boyfriend
in which she shall repeatedly ask the audience to donate money
to her
in order that she may forestall foreclosure
because the idea of working
feels unfair

this is true
this is happening

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Old Post 05-27-2013 09:52 AM
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gene genie
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2008
Location:
Posts: 591

this is the sound of one hand typing

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Old Post 05-27-2013 04:03 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 52996

So how does this work?
What rule needs to be followed here?

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 05-27-2013 04:15 PM
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gene genie
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2008
Location:
Posts: 591

You sound like me in my hippie days. Nobody really knows. Most Americans were exposed to Zen (before Led Zeppelin was even thought of) by a Brit named Alan Watts, during the "Summer of Love" in San Francisco, circa mid-60's.

Zen is based on insanity, in my opinion. (Timothy Leary put it; "you must lose your mind to come to your senses," though he truthfully could have added; "...along with enough acid to fell an elephant, meditation, tons of teenage pussy and frothy babbling...")

Zen is to traditional Buddhism what WBC is to Mormonism, an off-shoot of an off-shoot. It's based on contemplation of "koans" (co-anns), which are silly things to distract your brain while your soul seeks enlightenment, like: "what is the sound of one hand clapping?" and; "if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make any noise?" and; "she went into that fucking shoe store two hours ago for a pair of sandals, what in holy hell is keeping that silly bitch?"

Typical American-ized fuck up, is what it is. We took a Brit's interpretation of a really oddball Japanese Buddhist sect (and remember, THEY got it from the Chinese, who got it from India), summed it up by swiping some gibberish sprinkled with question marks and tucked it away for when we could trot them out at cocktail parties so we could nod knowingly along with our fellow pedants, and still have no fucking clue what any of it meant.

And started threads on message boards, too.

Alan Watts was one of the most influential writers and thinkers in my life, though. Don't get me wrong. Read his book; "Does It Matter?" at least once in your life, young man. (Check out the reviews on Amazon.)

It's not about Zen, per se. It's wisdom, period.

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Old Post 05-27-2013 04:48 PM
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ignatz mouse
gone with the wind

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: The Wetlands
Posts: 17938

How did you end up posting on Asylum? You're like the cheeky, verbose reincarnation of redguard.

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Old Post 05-27-2013 05:31 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 52996

Okay I'm going to try this.

You.
Beggar on the street.
With a Masters Degree.
You fucked up.
You should have taken up nursing.
This is America.
You do the jobs we need you to do.
Not what you dream of becoming.
So you can not be homeless.
And be happy with your studio apartment.
With a roommate you are ready to kill.
Why don't you go wherever you want to go?
I envy you.

__________________

I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 05-28-2013 11:27 PM
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theMAC
lone gunman for the govt

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: East Texas
Posts: 1471

pork product junkie,
calloused fingers and blistered thumbs
less than racist, more than religious
dumber than the dumb
ability and limitation,
cosine and tangent
where to earn your money?
where to spend it?
love considered torture, success is poverty
chose your side and accept your hypocrisy.

__________________
sigs are like assholes, everyone makes jokes about what you put in yours.

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Old Post 05-29-2013 02:28 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

"I have quit, totally quit drankin y'all."

For the party there was a cake of Oprah. Though neatly done, it was a poor likeness, ugly and squat. Fortunately, Oprah will never see the cake, even though there are pictures of Oprah cake on google. Oprah cake was not eaten.

"Y'all I am drunk this was not supposed to happen."

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Old Post 05-29-2013 05:04 AM
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Dacarlo
ex-member

Registered: Oct 2000
Location:
Posts: 15481

Read this site years ago. I really dig the stories even if grasping the depth of some of them is difficult.
http://www.ashidakim.com/zenkoans/

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Old Post 05-29-2013 08:17 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

When I was staying in South Carolina I ate & hung out with some of my mom's older friends a bit; one of them was reading a book of Taoist somethingorother and put it down, exclaiming (verbatim):

Goldamn! Ain't that somethin! I can think better if I don't think a'tall! Makes sense by God! I see the goldamn point of it! Best plan for not bein' a goldamn fool I ever did hear of!

I gave her a [p] on the spot

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Old Post 06-01-2013 08:33 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

she'll probably go around telling her friends "AH'M A GOLDANG TAOIST NOW, FOLKS BEST GET USED TO IT - I'M NONADO ABOUT ALL THAT SHEEYIT FROM NOW ON HONEY"

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Old Post 06-01-2013 08:36 AM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44493

You people are why armies of troglodytes always kill the intelectuals first.

__________________
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

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Old Post 06-01-2013 09:43 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

with the magic of the internet, we are also now the troglodytes - same thing that's been happening with dems and repubs. the hate is real, but the distinction no longer is.

it's mostly graduate students making meme posters, for instance. Managing McDonalds leaves plenty of mighty brain power free for creating threads on the interwebs.


contemplate this on the Tree of Woe

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Old Post 06-01-2013 09:49 AM
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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44493

I cut down the Tree of Woe with my Chainsaw of Destiny.

__________________
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

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Old Post 06-01-2013 10:31 AM
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creepy uncle
Anal oops

Registered: Apr 2006
Location: behind you
Posts: 16638

quote:
Originally posted by Mister Freign
Managing McDonalds leaves plenty of mighty brain power free for creating threads on the interwebs.





[p]

__________________
quote:
Originally posted by creepy uncle
My anus is bleeding.

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Old Post 06-01-2013 03:04 PM
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gene genie
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2008
Location:
Posts: 591

quote:
Originally posted by Mister Freign
When I was staying in South Carolina I ate & hung out with some of my mom's older friends a bit; one of them was reading a book of Taoist somethingorother and put it down, exclaiming (verbatim):

Goldamn! Ain't that somethin! I can think better if I don't think a'tall! Makes sense by God! I see the goldamn point of it! Best plan for not bein' a goldamn fool I ever did hear of!

I gave her a [p] on the spot


I'm going to take a dive off the deep end here and guess that they were referring to the "Tao Te Ching" by Lao Tsu (though nowadays some idjit went all PC and changed it to "Laozi," which looks to me like it's pronounced "lousy"), an umpteen-thousands-year-old book of wisdom that became not only the official political philosophy of China, but an influence to thinkers from Machiavelli to Michelle Bachmann (even if, in her case, it was just; "that looks like a book, tl;dr.")

Look, I'm not bringing it up to challenge Ken Jennings to a Trivial Pursuit match, but as a cautionary tale from my own experience as a neophyte pedant way back when. For decades, the most popular translation was by a jerk named "Witter Bynner," a Norwegian from Brooklyn who was known to pull literary hoaxes.

Yeah, I read it, and made a fool of myself for way too long by taking it seriously. The short version (if it's not too late for that) is: don't. Just don't.

It's sorta like Herman Hesse's collection of flowery Victorian prose; "Siddhartha." Generations of Liberal Arts undergrads pondered the pithy resonance in search of meaning, while chasing pussy and drinking too much beer, and in the end all they went away with were memories of how great the pussy and beer were and possibly - at best - another name for that Buddha guy.

There are much better translations out there that aren't like throwing darts at a Bible and taking guesses at what's written inside, or taking the word of some people on this board about Muslim doctrine.

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Old Post 06-01-2013 03:47 PM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

she's a treasure

bless her heart

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Old Post 06-05-2013 05:22 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

your lips turn blue as you massively abuse nitrous oxide:

is this some sort of new fashion thing? for blue lips?

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Old Post 06-10-2013 05:10 AM
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Mister Freign
Population Surplus

Registered: Aug 2006
Location: Happytown
Posts: 7860

MOVIE HAIKU

how much more awesome
it would have been if only
they'd followed the book

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Old Post 06-12-2013 07:06 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28918
Re: Koans and Contemplation

quote:
Originally posted by Mister Freign
... it would be great
to be a juggalo
but only if my penis gets chopped off somehow

Yo MF! We were sittin’ around the campfire the other night, shootin’ the shit about this ‘n’ that, when all-of-a-sudden that jackass wonderaz shot straight up to his feet and proposed a toast to you.

“What the hell for?”, hollered grasshoppa as he quickly guzzled a huge toast, anyway (it was free).

Bottle raised high, with a long string o’ drool hanging from his lower lip, the jackass replied, “Because ol’ Freignzy is a JUGGALOOOOO!”

Well, the rest of us joined in a loud chorus of skepticism and disbelief, reflexively crossing our legs ‘n’’ covering our packages. “NO WAAAY!”

“YES WAAAAAYYY!”, screamed the jackass as he helped himself to massive toasts from everyone else’s bottles.

One thing led to another. Bold, daring wagers were made. Oh, we duck taped the jackass to a tree because, well, he’s the jackass. You know how it goes when Dickel flows and the shit blows.

But Tofoo, the paisley talking elephant, still follows us wherever we go. So, we would consider it a kinda righteous thing if you would give us some closure by answering this question:

Did you finally succeed in somehow getting your penis chopped off?

Amen.

p. s. When you get a chance, Herkimer would like for you to return those two G. I. Joe action figures you borrowed.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 02-06-2018 at 03:24 AM

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Old Post 02-06-2018 01:43 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 13408

They were killed in Afghanistan trying to rescue two other action figures.

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Old Post 02-07-2018 12:11 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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Sorry Herk, but you’ve obviously been misled. Sadly, I have it on good authority that MF has been tinkering with Voodoo and ... well ... you don’t need me to fill-in-the-blanks.

Again, sorry.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-07-2018 03:30 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 13408

Who do Voodo, you do?

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Old Post 02-07-2018 06:08 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

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No, Herk. Misther Freignzy! He do de voodoo doo-doo, not you know who woo-woo.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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