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wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona... No no Cornville!!
Posts: 21760
I broke the steering cylinder on my backhoe

I just thought you all should know.

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quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
Wonder is right *gasp*.

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Old Post 02-03-2018 04:39 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529
Re: I broke the steering cylinder on my backhoe

quote:
Originally posted by wonderaz
I just thought you all should know.

Happened to me, too, a week ago Thursday, diggin' for the new silo.

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Old Post 02-03-2018 07:49 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

Backhoe? BACK-HOE?!?!! Good grief, ya jackass. Can’t you say anything without triggers? Leaving out the “L” doesn’t fool anyone. We know what you meant. Have you no shame? No decency?

Wait. What’s that? ... Dayum. There’s been a Loretta sighting.

Not safe. Gotta go.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-03-2018 04:33 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53110

Add a new cylinder in the front hoe and it should all straighten out.
Like switching hands to fix your bent dick from excessive masturbations.

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I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 02-03-2018 11:25 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I think he was referring to his black ho.
Read between the lines people.

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Old Post 02-04-2018 12:58 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

Yep. And he's saying his Johnson ain't workin'.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-05-2018 06:07 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

He didn't believe in working.

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Old Post 02-05-2018 06:38 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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Oh, he “works”. I have never in my life seen someone work so tirelessly to avoid work.

It’s a sight, really.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-05-2018 07:02 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

He considered stealing patrons' wallets and jewelry at his restaurant to be work. This was done, of course, after feeding them poisoned meat.

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Old Post 02-07-2018 11:50 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

No. That story got all twisted and turned inside out in the constant retelling. The truth is this:

The last time the jackass wonderaz had a “real” job was when it was Court-ordered as part of his suspended sentence for vagrancy and outraging public decency. So, he hired on as a dishwasher at Durwood’s DDD (the Triple D is for dogs, donuts and Dickel). Well, the first day on the job everything was going reasonably smoothly, that is, until the Loretta squeezed through the front door.

I’m sure you can fill in the blanks from there. Things went down the shitter and that right quick. The jackass did not pass GO and collect $200. Oh hell no. He went straight to his vacation home, i.e., jail. And Durwood’s DDD remains closed to this day. They were never able to recover from the savage and brutal clobbering on social media, thanks to the prolonged, highly visible presence of hazmat crews.

It’s sad, really.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-08-2018 01:17 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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What's sadder is that he used to clean those dishes with spit.

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Old Post 02-08-2018 02:24 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

Even sadder, I used to drink a whole lot and eat a little bit there.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-08-2018 02:30 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Even sadder, I used to drink a whole lot and eat a little bit there.

Amen.


See a doctor immediately. Then see a lawyer.

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Old Post 02-10-2018 03:54 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

Herk! You said to see a doctor and then see a lawyer. I did just was you said. I walked in the doctor's office and gave her a look. She gave me a greasy, sore butthole, plus a bill for $225.

Then I went to a lawyer's office. Just as you advised. I walked in the front door of Dewey Cheatham & Howe, sat down and I looked at just one of 'em. He gave me a bill for $300 and out the door I go.

My butthole is crampin'. I believe I feel Heffernan's pain.



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 02-12-2018 05:13 AM
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