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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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Herk. That makes no sense. How can grasshoppa deposit any pickles if he’s eaten all of them before he gets there?

That reminds me of when I was in the sixth grade. I had a fat buddy we called “Smokey”. We had hamburgers for lunch that fateful day in the school cafeteria. They always had the same toppings - ketchup, mustard and dill pickle slices.

Well, recess followed lunch and then back to the classroom we went. We were seated at our little desks. Since our teacher hadn’t made it back yet, we were all talking, making noise, and doing stuff kids ordinarily do when the teacher ain’t in the room. That is, all except Smokey.

Smokey was just sitting there at his desk, hunkered slightly forward, not making a peep. I looked his way and just as I was about to say something ...

buuu..bu...BLUUUU...bubu...PUUUGGGUBLUUU!!!! uuuuk. huh.


Smokey’s post-lunch tsunami hit fast and brutally, flooding the top of his desk with school cafeteria earp. The chain-reaction retching around the classroom was, of course, instantaneous and inevitable.

When Smokey began attempting to wipe the goop off his desk with his shirt sleeve, it triggered another round of retching. That was when I noticed the pickle chips in his puke appeared to be intact. I guessed Smokey didn’t like to chew.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 07-04-2018 at 02:00 AM

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GoFuckYourselves!
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Registered: Oct 2000
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Thanks for ruining my appetite!

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Old Post 07-08-2018 07:27 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32097

You’ll recover. Trust me. I recommend a big larupin’ hunk o’ cheeeeese to speed up the process.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-09-2018 06:07 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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You're doing it again!

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Old Post 07-09-2018 08:16 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32097

It’s the song, man, the song:

Well now, they call me the cheeeeese,
I keep blowin’ down the road...


Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-11-2018 04:12 PM
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