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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Posts: 16529
Post your favorite recipes here!

Begin!

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Old Post 07-18-2018 04:44 PM
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J E B Stuart
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By all means, Herk, you go first.

Amen.

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Old Post 07-18-2018 08:02 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Okay. Here's my recipe for toast.

1. Take 2 slices of bread.
2. Place them in a toaster. (Make sure the toaster is plugged in.)
3. Push the handle down.
4. When the bread pops up, you have toast.
5. Butter, jelly, jam or cream cheese to taste.

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Old Post 07-20-2018 03:00 PM
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J E B Stuart
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So. Are you implying that you do, in fact, LIKE cream CHEEEEESE?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-20-2018 09:34 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Fact: I LOVE cream cheese.

But the difference is that it's cheese not CHEEEEESE.

So there!

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Old Post 07-21-2018 01:29 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
...So there!
So, here!:

1 large or 2 small 'possums
1/4 cup (2 fl oz, 60 ml) fresh lemon juice
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
salt and pepper
1 teaspoon dried ground thyme
2 cups (16 oz, 500 ml) water
2 tablespoons butter
6 yams (sweet potatoes), peeled and halved lengthwise
4 apples, peeled, cored and quartered
1 cup (7 oz, 200g) light brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Skin and clean the possum, removing as much of the unwanted fat as you can find. Get rid of all the innards and be certain to remove the small reddish musk glands from the small of its back and from under each foreleg between the shoulder and the rib. Douse the possum with lemon juice and rub it in as best as you can.

Preheat the oven to 350*F (180*C, gas 4). Mix together the flour, salt, pepper, and thyme. Rub the possum inside and out with the flour mixture. Now, lay it on a rack in a roasting pan and pour in the water.

Cover with a tightly fitting lid or foil and roast in the oven for 45 minutes, or 1 hour for a big possum. Drain off all but about 1 cup (8 fl oz, 250ml) of the juice from the pan and throw in the yams. Dot each half yam with a generous dollop of butter. Cover again and continue to roast for an additional 45 minutes or until almost tender.

Now throw in the apple quarters. Mix the brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg, then sprinkle it over the yams and apples. Uncover and roast for 20 minutes, or until nicely browned and tender. Serve immediately.

From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 07-22-2018 08:09 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I will starve first!

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Old Post 07-23-2018 01:11 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Thisll keep you from starvin, Herk:

Ingredients:

20lbs cleaned Uncle Lous Super Clean Chitlins pork chitterlings, thawed
1 large baking potato
2 large onions, peeled and halved
1 green bell pepper, chopped
3 cloves garlic
3 stalks celery, with leaves
1 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons salt
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon Creole seasoning, or to taste
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, or to taste

Instructions:

Rinse and clean chitlins as desired.
Place the chitlins in a large pot and fill with enough water to cover. Bring to a boil, drain, rinse and fill with enough water to cover again.

Return to the heat and add the potato, onions, green pepper, garlic, celery and vinegar. Season with salt, bay leaf, Creole seasoning and red pepper flakes. Cover and simmer over medium heat for 3 to 4 hours. Chitlins should appear clear to white in color.

Cut the chitlins into 1 inch pieces and return to the pot. Pour out most of the cooking liquid. Discard the potato, onions, celery and bay leaf. Heat the chitterlings through and serve with your favorite side dishes.

Store the leftovers in the refrigerator. Like so many other great soul food dishes, chitlins taste even better after the flavor has soaked in for a few hours.

From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 07-23-2018 at 04:03 PM

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Old Post 07-23-2018 03:34 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I'll continue starving.

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Old Post 07-30-2018 02:28 AM
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J E B Stuart
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We cant have that, so try this:

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter, softened
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheeeeese
8 Italian bread slices
4 (3/4-oz.) provolone cheeeeese slices
4 (3/4-oz.) mozzarella cheeeeese slices

How to Make It

Stir together butter and Parmesan cheeeeese in a small bowl.

Spread 1 1/2 tsp. butter mixture on 1 side of each bread slice. Place 4 bread slices, buttered sides down, on wax paper. Top with provolone and mozzarella cheeeeeses; top with remaining bread slices, buttered sides up.

Cook sandwiches, in batches, on a hot griddle or in a nonstick skillet over medium heat, gently pressing with a spatula, 4 minutes on each side or until golden brown and cheeeeese is melted.
.

From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-01-2018 04:02 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I'm down to 80 lbs. now.

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Old Post 08-01-2018 04:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
I'm down to 80 lbs. now.
We cant have that, Herk. This Polish head cheeeeese recipell put some meat back on your bones:

Ingredients

4 pork hocks
1 onion, quartered
3 garlic cloves, crushed
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon allspice
Pinch of nutmeg
2 envelopes (7 grams each) unflavored gelatine
1 cup boiling water

Step 1

Place hocks in a large pot with onion, garlic and bay leaf and cover with water.

Step 2

Bring to a boil and reduce heat to medium-high and continue to boil for a couple of hours adding water as needed, making sure hocks are always covered with liquid.

Step 3

Remove hocks and set aside.

Step 4

Strain the stock and return to pot.

Step 5

Allow meat to cool and remove all fat and bones, keeping the meat and flesh; cut meat and flesh into small pieces.

Step 6

Return to stock and add salt and pepper, allspice and nutmeg; you will need at least 3 cups of the stock.

Step 7

Boil until just a bit of liquid is left, about 3/4 of the way up the meat.

Step 8

Mix the contents of gelatine packets with the hot water until completely dissolved and pour into mixture.

Step 9

Pour into an empty 28 ounce can or in a jelly mould lined with plastic wrap and allow setting at least 8 hours.

Step 10

To release meat from can, flip can over and remove bottom of can with can opener and push out.

Step 11

Slice to desired thickness and serve.


From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-04-2018 07:50 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

Now 70 lbs.

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Old Post 08-04-2018 07:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
Now 70 lbs.

Sorry, Herk. Well just have to keep trying. With that in mind, this bologna cake recipe is sure to become a family pleaser!:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-05-2018 07:53 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I'm in intensive care.

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Old Post 08-06-2018 02:42 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 32327

You need more protein, Herk! Heres a recipe for beef fudge. I promise you, Heffernan dudnt Come up with this one:

Ingredients

lb (2 sticks) butter
1 large can of evaporated milk
4 cups sugar
12 oz chocolate chips
2 cups marshmallow fluff
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup cooked ground roast beef (crusty, dry parts removed and only seasoned with salt)
1 cup chopped walnuts

Instructions

Cook butter, milk and sugar for 5 minutes, stirring often. Remove from heat and stir in chocolate chips and marshmallow fluff until melted. Stir in vanilla and ground beef roast and walnuts. Beat until firm and pour into a well-greased 9x13 pan. Serves 50-60.


From here.

Heres wishing you a speedy recovery. Bon appetite!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-06-2018 04:25 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I'm on an IV drip now.

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Old Post 08-08-2018 11:29 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Well, as long as youre drippin, theres hope. You need some fresh protein, Herk. Heres to your speedy recovery:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-09-2018 02:55 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

The priest is reading the last rites.

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Old Post 08-09-2018 04:23 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Herk! Tell Father Priestipoop not to get in a hurry because your miracle is at hand! And ... drumroll, please ... I give you ...

SLOVAK MOZGY!

Ingredients

5 med onions
cooking fat
paprika
2 kg (4.5 lbs) fatty meat, ground
spinal cord and brains
caraway
salt, pepper
5-6 eggs

Instructions

Cut onions roughly, cook on slow with fat until caramelized, about 20 min, in a wide pot. Sprinkle on paprika, stir and immediately add ground meat. Paprika quickly burns and turns bitter. Sorry, I don't know how much, but Slovaks use a fair amount. The ground meat is fresh from the pig and can be any part.

Grind spinal cord and brains, add to pot. Add salt, pepper, and caraway to taste. When the meat is cooked through, beat 5-6 eggs in a bowl and add to meat mixture, stirring as you pour. Serve with fermented vegetables or pickles.

From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-09-2018 07:05 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

I'm in the back of the hearse.

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Old Post 08-10-2018 02:59 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Posts: 32327

Herk, Herk! Stay away from the white light! You need fresh, wild game. Here ya go:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-10-2018 05:51 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

They're lowering me into the ground.

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Old Post 08-11-2018 05:24 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Posts: 32327

Arise, Herk! Arise! The health gladiator has arrived!



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-11-2018 08:40 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16529

They're throwing the dirt on me now.

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