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Oracular_Jinx
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The many ways to measure life

I recently ran into a friend from a long while back. We realized it had been about five years since we had seen each other. Catching up was lovely and we decided that instead of measuring life in pounds and years we would measure by bad decisions. What other ways might you measure life?

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Old Post 08-13-2018 04:01 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Funerals. The older I get, the more funerals I attend. In fact, Im going to one tomorrow.

Amen.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 04:06 AM
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Oracular_Jinx
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Awh jeb, I am sorry to hear that. I would prefer not to measure by funerals. It reminds my of my insignificant mortality. I prefer pedicures. Bad decisions and pedicures.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 04:10 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Id prefer not to, either, but theyre inevitable.

If youre able to share, Jinxy, whats the last bad-decision-life-measure youve made?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-13-2018 06:04 AM
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Dingle
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The pessimist in me would measure life by how much of it I will never get back, and how little I appreciated it while I was there.

The nihilist in me would would measure life by how close I am to the finish line so that I can get this over with already.

In an attempt to say something positive, the optimist in me would perhaps measure life by the very little true suffering I have had to endure relative to the fuckton of people throughout human history who have had to endure existence in much more miserable places during some truly miserable times. (that's the best I can do, the optimist has been MIA for a long time)

It would be easier for me to count good decisions than bad ones.

And the funerals, dead on. When we're young we go to weddings, when we're old we go to funerals. The transition takes place over decades, and it's a succinct commentary on existence, how life itself will morph the occasions that bring us happiness and joy into grief and despair behind our backs, without us even realizing it.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 06:04 PM
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Oracular_Jinx
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Jeb, completed or in the works? I accidentally managed to proposition two friends simultaneously. I blame beer and hormones, and ultimately I am not sure I should have gone down this road in the first place.. I also committed to reliving my university years in stupid ways. Though bad decisions, they are entertaining. I also chose to eat cheese at 11:30 pm last night. Come to think of it, that was the last bad decision.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 06:35 PM
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Oracular_Jinx
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I am starting to think I should measure by the number of trips I take with my mom to the social security office because there was another fuckup.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 06:37 PM
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Dingle
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A part of me wishes I would have thought to start keeping a daily log of my bowel movements way back when I was a wee lil dingus.

I don't know why, part of it is that it would just be a funny thing to say that I did, but it would also be interesting to see exactly how many dumps I've taken over the years, and how the frequency varied throughout different stages of my life (the boozing stages would definitely win, diarheah all the time).

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Old Post 08-13-2018 06:42 PM
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Dingle
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Just thought of one while playing with my dick.

Every year the pubes are growing further up the shaft.

Perhaps the day when you look down to see a furry gorilla cock, you've made it to the end.

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Old Post 08-13-2018 10:11 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
Funerals. The older I get, the more funerals I attend. In fact, Im going to one tomorrow.

Amen.


Sorry, Jeb.

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Old Post 08-14-2018 01:04 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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quote:
Originally posted by Dingle
A part of me wishes I would have thought to start keeping a daily log of my bowel movements way back when I was a wee lil dingus.

I don't know why, part of it is that it would just be a funny thing to say that I did, but it would also be interesting to see exactly how many dumps I've taken over the years, and how the frequency varied throughout different stages of my life (the boozing stages would definitely win, diarheah all the time).


When a person starts keeping a bowel log, we know he or she has serious issues.

Would you care to my pee log?

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Old Post 08-14-2018 01:07 AM
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J E B Stuart
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The Land o Poop

quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
When a person starts keeping a bowel log, we know he or she has serious issues. ...

I disagree, Herk. Why ... didnt we double-handedly transition Asylumnation through incessant bitching, moaning, whining and sniping from the land o moop to its present lofty stature as land o poop?

It was tough goin, but somebody had to do it.

Amen.

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Old Post 08-17-2018 04:53 PM
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Oracular_Jinx
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Don't be so bitter about going to the shitter.

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Old Post 08-17-2018 05:36 PM
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J E B Stuart
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No worries. Thats my me-time.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:36 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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We're all part shit.

Would I shit you?

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:42 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Uh-huh.

And Jinxy likes to Twitter on the shitter. Dont forget that.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-21-2018 08:10 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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If you forget something on purpose, what is that called?

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Old Post 08-22-2018 04:28 PM
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J E B Stuart
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shamnesia?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-22-2018 06:28 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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If you forget where your barn is, is that farmnesia?

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Old Post 08-23-2018 01:20 AM
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Dildo_Hitler
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i used to measure my life in failures and regrets. i still do, but i used to, too.

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Old Post 08-23-2018 02:13 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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I never think about my life. And I never measure it, whatever that means. I guess I'm not self-reflective in any way. I'm probably better off, too.

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Old Post 08-23-2018 05:12 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
If you forget where your barn is, is that farmnesia?

Trick question, silly Herk. You know I dont own a barn.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-23-2018 07:48 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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That's what YOU think. You'd better see a doctor fast!

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Old Post 08-24-2018 04:36 PM
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Oracular_Jinx
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Sounds like the chickens have flown the coop

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Old Post 08-24-2018 06:03 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Getting ready to go to another funeral right now. No kidding.

Amen.

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