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Posted by greenleakynipples on 04-23-2002 08:46 PM:

A shitty week for pets

Well, I had two fish, named "One" and "Two" respectively. One was red, Two was blue. One fish, Two fish, red fish, blue fish, you see? Very clever.

A couple weeks ago... err... a month ago, my best friend Loni started watching One and Two for me because I was going to be out of town for spring break. When I got back, I had more travel to do associated with my mom in the hospital, etc, so she just held on to them. She got attached.

Last week, One's body, right behind his head swelled to enormous size. We did a little research, and we think he was constipated. Seriously. They recommended feeding the fish chopped up little peas. Dunno why. I guess it's a laxative. We did so last Friday. This morning Loni called and told me One was dead.

So I went over and fished him out of the tank with a fork (the only tool I could find). I felt pretty gross pulling my dead fish from the water with a fork. I flushed him in the men's restroom.

A bad week for pets this has been. I guess I should go buy another fish (it's a divided tank), but here's my problem. What do I name the new fish? I can't call it One. It needs to play off the name "Two" I think.

Peas
Company
Heads

Any suggestions?

Leakynips


Posted by SocialParasite on 04-23-2002 08:49 PM:

Three?

__________________


Posted by greenleakynipples on 04-23-2002 08:51 PM:

Nah, Three is just silly. Then the next fish HAS to be Four. And there's no cleverness in naming your fish numbers.


Posted by flocat on 04-23-2002 09:03 PM:

get three more fish and name them: "Drunk" "to" and "Fuck" that way, you'd have Two (too) Drunk to Fuck. I'd do it. Of course, you're probably not as cool as me.

Perhaps name the other "Bit Whore" then you'd have "Two Bit Whore." Wouldn't you like your very own Two-Bit-Whore? I knew you would.


Posted by wonderaz on 04-23-2002 09:04 PM:

I assume these were Bettas?


Posted by CHiPsJr on 04-23-2002 09:29 PM:

"Juan"


Posted by Dog Breath on 04-24-2002 12:01 AM:

Tat


Posted by greenleakynipples on 04-24-2002 12:04 AM:

yeah, they're Bettas. I kind of like "Bit whore" and "Tat" but I'm not sold yet. I'll give some points to whoever comes up with the winning name.

yay for bribery.
and thanks.
Leakynips


Posted by Dog Breath on 04-24-2002 12:07 AM:

"B" , or not.


Posted by Thimbles worth of opinion on 04-24-2002 12:43 AM:

One II.

__________________

My nipples are asymetrical... and that's a feature not a bug.


Posted by Feral Automaton on 04-24-2002 02:33 AM:

what about naming it "that fish that replaced my cleverly named other, deader fish which, upon the reaper's bleak orders, had to be flushed down the loo."

That way...

Well...

I don't think that you should name it that.

Yeah.

Good luck!


Posted by rodney on 04-24-2002 02:47 AM:

I knew it.

Flocat is a Mr. Rogers addict. FAG.

__________________

I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.


Posted by flocat on 04-24-2002 03:02 AM:

Re: I knew it.

quote:
Originally posted by rodney
Flocat is a Mr. Rogers addict. FAG.


The fact that I don't know what about my suggestion to GLN tells me more of your obsession with Mr. Rogers. You are disgusting.


Posted by wonderaz on 04-24-2002 04:18 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by greenleakynipples
yeah, they're Bettas.

leakynips



Am I fucking brilliant or what?

Since you are replacing "One" and they are Bettas... How about Alpha?

Alpha... Beta... get it?


Posted by greenleakynipples on 04-24-2002 06:26 AM:

Lol - Alpha might work, too. I kind of like that.

Hmm... Bit Whore, Alpha.

B or not was clever, too. Hmm.

Thanks for the help, keep it coming. I should have 5 or so points to give away on this.

Leakynips


Posted by Roshigoth on 04-24-2002 06:31 AM:

Name it Shits.

That way you've got Two Shits. And if you ever need to give them away, you can say that you gave Two Shits.

__________________


Posted by FuhQall on 04-24-2002 09:54 AM:

Contrary to a bad week for pets, I have actually had a really good week for pets, I came home on Monday and found four new fish in my pond, it seems that the word has spread amongst my neighbours that I have been given big fish from some of them with small ponds and put them in my out-sized pond. It now seems as though the tally has topped 20, I have only bought four jeuvenile ghost koi (about 2" ), and now have 1000 worth of fish!!!!!!!!!!

__________________

Shit, Motherfucker, Fuck, Shit!


Posted by aminal on 04-24-2002 09:55 AM:

clearly the replacement fish should be Too

Too and Two.

obviously.

__________________

aminal
Turn sigs off


Posted by FuhQall on 04-24-2002 10:59 AM:

It's a pity they weren't owls, you could have named to new one (oops) woo

Then they would be Two-Woo........

__________________

Shit, Motherfucker, Fuck, Shit!


Posted by Feral Automaton on 04-24-2002 11:14 PM:

"It's a pity they weren't owls" - fuhqall.

I second that, old bean!

Just that part.

Not any other part of your post, though.

Bigot.


Posted by Chamber Of Opinion on 04-24-2002 11:21 PM:

Potential names:

(Two) Cents
(Two) Wong Foo
(Two) Bular (tubular) - if Two dies you can name it's replacement Ferris (Ferris Bueller)


Posted by greenleakynipples on 04-24-2002 11:29 PM:

Lol - the "Bular" thing is not a bad idea at all, CoO. I am amused. you guys aren't too bad at this. I'll probably go shopping for the new fish Thurs night or Friday afternoon, so I'll let you know the name decision, and award the points at that time.

Keep it up, lol. Leakynips


Posted by Dog Breath on 04-25-2002 12:24 AM:

Name the new fish:
"Suck my penis"

Next time you go out of town......

"Loni, would you mind watching my two fish and suck my penis"?


Posted by FuhQall on 04-25-2002 08:32 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by Feral Automaton
"It's a pity they weren't owls" - fuhqall.

I second that, old bean!

Just that part.

Not any other part of your post, though.

Bigot.

I am soo not bigotted, or racist for that matter and come to think of it anti-semetism I can't answer to either, I am "Jason" and I hate every fucker equally.
__________________

Shit, Motherfucker, Fuck, Shit!


Posted by Feral Automaton on 04-25-2002 08:49 AM:

dude. That whole thing that you said about owls being "better" than fish? That was normal, but when you subsequently, and quite irrationaly called the fish "blacks" and the owls "whites"? Helloooo?

What were you thinking with that shit? That no one would notice? Well I've got news for you! I'm a troll - and trolls can say whatever they want because in the end no one has any feelings but the troll! NOT EVEN HANNIBAL LECTER!!!!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

...

Nigger.


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