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Posted by Goatboy on 12-24-2002 05:06 PM:

Best Christmas Song in the World...Ever!!!

I fucking hate Christmas songs.

In fact the only thing that springs to mind is the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl with Fairytale of New York.

Anyone suggesting Aled Jones gets the mad Bitch point smackdown.

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Posted by Thumper on 12-24-2002 05:28 PM:

John Lennon...And So This is Christmas

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Posted by skalie on 12-24-2002 05:37 PM:

Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody


Posted by Aydin on 12-24-2002 05:40 PM:

I just heard that Pogues' song a few days ago for the first time (that I remember) in an Irish pub and thought "Hmm, this is perhaps the only Christmas song I like."

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Posted by karen on 12-24-2002 06:45 PM:

ben folds-bizarre christmas incident


i hate Xmas music too, goatboy.
this is a great song, though.


Posted by karen on 12-24-2002 06:47 PM:

lyrics for it, if ya like:

Bizarre Christmas Incident


(Ho, ho, ho...Play it Grandpa...Yeah, play it...Let's tell them a little story
about what happened this Christmas.... Yeah, tell them... tell 'em 'bout
Christmas)

Christmas Eve, I didn't get much sleep
I kept hearing things, heavy breathing from the chimney
Who could it be?

(I'll tell you what it was... What happened then, Ben?... Yeah, what
happened?... Well, I went back to sleep... You went back to sleep? Back to
sleep? Shit... Tired man, went back to sleep)

And in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes
A whale of a corpe with a long white beard
Was dangling over the fire

oh, Santa he's a big fat fuck
Went down the chimney got his fat ass stuck
Oh, honey, call the lawyers fast
'Cause Mrs. Clause is gonna sue my ass
hey, hey, hey

(Ok grandpa, step up, sing in this thing right here, tell 'em what you saw,
tell 'em what you saw grandpa)

I gotta tell you folks,
He wasn't wearin no clothes
He musta rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco oil
from his back down to his toes
While I was talking to the cops outside
The dog was lickin Crisco off of his thighs
They hauled him away in a double-wide
What a sad, sad way to die
Hey, hey, hey

Santa, he's a big, fat fuck
went down the chimney, got his fat ass
oh, honey call the lawyers fast,
Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass


Posted by Vegas on 12-24-2002 07:47 PM:

I enjoy

Gradma Got Run Over By A Reindeer (whomever does it I dunno, brings back good memories as a kid though)

and

The Kinks - Father Christmas

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Your whole "I dress like an office drone and act respectable and then sit on forum where we discuss urethra fucking and public torture" bit still creeps me out. I bet it would creep out your co-workers even more.

-m


Posted by Kyanite on 12-27-2002 01:53 AM:

I heard there is no Christmas
In the silly Middle East
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus
They have different religious beliefs

They believe in Muhammad
And not in our holiday
And so every December
I go to the Middle East and say...

"Hey there Mr. Muslim
Merry fucking Christmas
Put down that book the Koran
And hear some holiday wishes.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass
and fucking celebrate.

There is no holiday season in India I've heard
They don't hang up their stockings
And that is just absurd!

They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about
And that is why in December
I'll go to India and shout...

Hey there Mr. Hinduist
Merry fucking Christmas
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.

In case you haven't noticed
It's Jesus's birthday
So get off your heathen Hindu ass
and fucking celebrate!

Now I heard that in Japan
Everyone just lives in sin
They pray to several gods
And put needles in their skin.

On December 25th
All they do is eat a cake
And that is why I go to Japan
And walk around and say...

Hey there Mr. Shintoist
Merry fucking Christmas
God is going to kick your ass
You infidelic pagan scum.

In case you haven't noticed
There's festive things to do
So lets all rejoice for Jesus
And Merry fucking Christmas to you.

On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry Fucking Christmas, To You!


Posted by skalie on 12-31-2002 04:25 PM:

Black Christmas - Millions of Dead Cops


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