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-- "It's really gross, mommy?" (http://asylumnation.com/asylum/showthread.php?threadid=32941)


Posted by karen on 12-31-2003 04:50 PM:

"It's really gross, mommy?"

I was brushing my teeth this morning, when keith(my son, for those who don't know) walked in and the following ensued:


keith: can I use the blue listerine, mommy?

me: uhh... no. It's gross. Really gross.

keith: It's really gross?

me: really, REALLY gross.

keith: I want the listerine, mommy.

me: It's gross, keith.. but if you REALLLLY want some, I'll give you a little bit.

*I go to the kitchen to get a tiny shotglass and fill it about 1/4 of the way for him*

*hand it to him, stand back in case he spits it everywhere*

*he swishes it around his mouth with a completely disgusted look on his face for approximately 2 seconds... runs to the bathroom sink and spits it everywhere*

keith: that's blueberry!

me(laughing): It's definitely NOT blueberry. Was it gross?

keith: It was really, REALLY gross, mommy.

me: told you.

keith: I feel clean!


Posted by billgerat on 12-31-2003 05:43 PM:

All Listerine is foul shit. When I use mouthwash, I prefer Scope or equivalent.

As long as you brush after eating, mouthwash is not necessary. A good flossing never hurts either.

__________________

"Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform." -Stephen Colbert -


Posted by Aydin on 12-31-2003 05:49 PM:

That's a big sig.


Posted by wonderaz on 12-31-2003 06:30 PM:

I gave the Ferret a taste of wine on Christmas Eve as he was bugging me about what we were drinking. He blew it all over the couch and yelled at his sister to stay away from me because I was drinking "poison".

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
Wonder is right *gasp*.


Posted by J E B Stuart on 12-31-2003 07:32 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by wonderaz
. . . He blew it all over the couch and yelled at his sister to stay away from me because I was drinking "poison".

You didn't open that bottler yerself, did ya. Didn't see it opened, either, did ya.

Better start sleepin' with one eye open, ya jackass.

Amen.


Posted by wonderaz on 12-31-2003 07:39 PM:

Hmmm... Come to think of it...

__________________

quote:
Originally posted by Coincidence
Wonder is right *gasp*.


Posted by ponyslayer on 01-01-2004 02:25 AM:

The longer I'm a parent, the more I realize that having a kid is like taking care of a drunk roommate....

-You have to clean up after they spill shit or puke all over themselves

-You never can understand what the hell they are saying

and

-At some point in the day you always find time to hug and say how much you love each other

I'm just glad my daughter doesn't have puke breath when she gives me a kiss

__________________

-if god didn't want me to masturbate, he would've given me shorter arms.


Posted by karen on 01-02-2004 12:49 AM:

keith: I wanna play tetris, mommy.

me: no, you want to finish your dinner.

keith: no.

me: yes.

keith: no.

me: what's that? you want to go to your room?

keith: I want to eat my dinner. mmm.. delicious cheesy rice!


Posted by torque on 01-02-2004 03:52 AM:

G: I'm full now. No more dinner.
T: Ok, too bad you are full, we have jello.
G: I'm not full.
T: Eat your dinner then.
G: Dinner is big. Jello is really tiny.


Posted by Vegas on 01-04-2004 04:11 AM:

Man, I want to have kids someday but I think I can wait just a little bit longer.

__________________

Your whole "I dress like an office drone and act respectable and then sit on forum where we discuss urethra fucking and public torture" bit still creeps me out. I bet it would creep out your co-workers even more.

-m


Posted by SocialParasite on 01-04-2004 05:55 AM:

Keith for PRESIDENT!

__________________


Posted by karen on 01-14-2004 07:50 PM:

Me: keith, what's that behind you?

*spins around, stops. looks me in the eye, shrugs.*

keith: I don't know. It's not here yet.


Posted by Cage on 01-14-2004 07:55 PM:

quote:
Originally posted by karen
Me: keith, what's that behind you?

*spins around, stops. looks me in the eye, shrugs.*

keith: I don't know. It's not here yet.



That's great.
__________________

I don't get paid enough for this shit.


Posted by Talarohk on 01-14-2004 10:30 PM:

We had a funny one yesterday.

Son is being tucked into bed. We've read several books, and now it's time to turn the lights off.
Me: "Good night, little guy. Have sweet dreams." (turns off light)
Son: (picking up a book) "Papa, turn the light on."
Me: "Why?"
Son: (hesitates one second) "Because I haven't learned to see in the dark yet!"

__________________


Posted by Pinecrika on 01-14-2004 10:46 PM:

My daughter doesn't talk yet, but she just learned to walk. I can't belive I encouraged this. Every time I try to get a little relax time on the sofa, she's off like a shot to the garbage, cat box, toilet, etc.

Personally, I think she has a sense of humor, albiet a sadistic one, and just likes to hear her dad jump up, grunt and holler while trying to intercept her from a household baby hazzard ( there is no such thing as a baby proof house). She gets a real simle and giggle out of it. Sometimes I comprimise. If I get some sofa time, she's welcome to pull on my hair till she's content.

Give a little, take a little.


Posted by karen on 01-15-2004 01:31 AM:

My son told me to get a sense of humour the other night when I threatened an early bedtime.


Posted by slappy on 01-15-2004 01:43 AM:

I love other people's kids


Posted by karen on 01-15-2004 01:59 AM:

Keith is going to post in this thread tomorrow, so I can give him his hard-earned humour points.


Posted by karen on 01-15-2004 01:59 AM:

of course, he'd probably recommend a few thousand bitch points for me..


Posted by tack on 01-15-2004 02:10 AM:

6 year olds at asylum? sweet


Posted by Vegas on 01-15-2004 02:11 AM:

We could start on those bitch pernts if you want, karen

__________________

Your whole "I dress like an office drone and act respectable and then sit on forum where we discuss urethra fucking and public torture" bit still creeps me out. I bet it would creep out your co-workers even more.

-m


Posted by karen on 01-15-2004 02:15 AM:

Keith's already got an account here, tack. he posts at least once or twice a year.

And vegas: see if I care.


Posted by cw on 01-15-2004 02:18 AM:

Bizarre.


Posted by Sabine on 01-15-2004 03:10 AM:

matty: I want chicken.

me: no, we just had tacos.

matty: (whining) chicken. (pouting in silence)

later in the car..

grandma: the wheels on the bus go round and round.. round and round.. round and round.. the wheels on the bus go round and round.. round and round.. all through the town.. the.. what's next matty?

matty: chicken?


Posted by karen on 01-15-2004 03:11 AM:

hehe


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