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-- Happy Birthday, fag! (http://asylumnation.com/asylum/showthread.php?threadid=59724)


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-11-2018 07:11 AM:

Happy Birthday, fag!

Happy Birthday, dinglioid! I hope paintipoo finally comes through and gives you that “holy glory hole experience” he’s been promising you all these years. Surely, all would agree you’ve earned it and deserve it.

Or, that jackass wonderaz can send Loretta over to load your musket. Again.

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-11-2018 08:50 PM:

Hey dingle! I know you’re super, super busy, So I took it upon myself to see to it that your birthday had a proper happy ending. Yep, I just got back from The Chicken Ranch. And I must say, what a superbly gorgeous bunch of ladies! Lord have mercy.

Anyway, I walked in. I introduced myself to Miss Kitty as dingle and told her it’s my birthday. I also added that I’d just got outta the slammer for stompin’ the stuffin’s outta that jackass wonderaz. Oh yeah, they know the jackass. FYI, he’d stolen one of my monthly checks a year or so ago and went there to party. Well. No surprise that the jackass made the most gawd-awful, horrible mess you could possibly imagine. Sure, they threw him out, but the damage had been done. They had to close shop for several days while the hazmat crew and painters did their thing.

Well, I’m humbly pleased to report that, as your birthday proxy, I partied like it was 1999.

I know, I know, but no thanks are necessary, my friend. After all, what are pals for? My reward is the knowledge your birthday had the happiest possible ending imaginable. Several, in fact.

My work is done. Until next year, my good man ... .

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-13-2018 03:56 AM:

Dingle, let’s be clear - do not not assume for one minute that, even though I’m the only one posting in your birthday thread, no one else has celebrated yours. Oh, indeed they have and those who aren’t in jail still are.

Especially grasshoppa. He’s been playing “Born Free” over and over, while sucking down free packs o’ ketchups and sugars. Admittedly unconventional, but it is a rather creative effort, regardless. Gotta admire his spunk.

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-13-2018 05:07 AM:

Dingus, just so you know how committed I am to celebrating your birthday properly, I acquired six boxes of Dickel. Oh Lord and Lordy, Lordy. WHAT A BIRTHDAY!

You da man, dinger! You da man!

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by GoFuckYourselves! on 01-13-2018 07:03 PM:

But Uncle Jeb, you're ALWAYS bringing home boxes of Dickle. His birthday has nothing to do with it!

__________________

Report this post to a moderator!!!


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-14-2018 05:44 AM:

George is code for therapy, nephew. My therapist, George Dickel.

Amen

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by GoFuckYourselves! on 01-14-2018 06:46 AM:

But you've been seeing him for years!

And he hasn't helped!

He must be a fraud! Where did he get his degree? Sears?

__________________

Report this post to a moderator!!!


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-11-2019 08:17 PM:

I am still celebrating Dingle’s birthday from last year. Today, he lucked out and managed to survive to yet another one. That means I am hardcore l33t.

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by jazebelle on 01-12-2019 12:47 PM:

For dingle's birthday, I'm going dry this month (from alcohol, not sex) ...I'm sure dingle would love that very much and will age gracefully from here on forth.

__________________

That brown girl


Posted by jazebelle on 01-12-2019 12:48 PM:

p/s: Hello J E B

__________________

That brown girl


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-13-2019 07:11 AM:

quote:
Originally posted by jazebelle
p/s: Hello J E B

Hello, jazz. That’s okay if you wanna quit drinking, as long as you don’t give up Dickel, which is necessary for your continued good health.

Speaking of your health, you should live long and healthy as long as you remain with Dac and always remember to breathe deeply:

Experts Explain Why Smelling Your Partner's Farts Will Make You Live Longer - From here.

Amen.
__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by jazebelle on 01-13-2019 12:46 PM:

This is absolutely hilarious, JEB! We were just reading this article not too long ago ... now every time Dac rips one out, he says he is saving my life - and I do the same, but obviously my farts don't smell, and Dac's are absolutely lethal. Guess he saves my life more than I do his heeeeeheeeeheee

__________________

That brown girl


Posted by J E B Stuart on 01-14-2019 06:17 AM:

Jazz, Dac is a legendary fart factory. Those-in-the-know all know about him, even across the pond. You should live to be a thousand.

Amen.

__________________

" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman


Posted by Dude111 on 01-14-2019 03:04 PM:

I hope ya had a good birthday!!!!!!!!


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