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urbanjunkie
23

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9922
Post Welsh Superstar

Unlike America, BIG BROTHER is huge in the UK.

I'm talking about the reality tv show were they lock up 10 people in a house etc etc

http://www.bigbrother.terra.com/frameset.html


Anyway, the UK version is probably worth the effort simply for the 23 year old Welsh girl Helen and her stupendous comments. Shes bubbly, carefree and fun, but boy does she talk a load of bollocks.

Heres some classic examples from our helen:



comic genius


(Bubble, Stuart, Dean, Brian are some of the other housemates who are mentioned)

"God!! There are nine of us in here..... It does not seem to be as many as at the start!!!..."
(the show obviously started with 10)


"I dreamed last night when I was asleep..."


"There's less people in the house than we started with"


"Do I look chubby, I'm worried if I'm nominated as I'll have lots of pictures taken of me. I just won't eat anything on Friday".


"You do have five fingers don't you?"


"I think I'm the only Welsh person in here"


On her G.C.S.E's (exam passes): "God!! How come you lot have got loads and I have only got two?"


"I probably sound Welsh on the telly"


"What is a Liberal Democrat?"


"Is the jelly cooked"


BIG BROTHER: "This is Big Brother, a meteorite has landed in the garden. You have two minutes to get dressed...
HELEN: "Dressed? What as in clothes?"


"Yeah, you know Jack Daniels... he does all the magic stuff!"


Bubble was balancing the three juggling balls on Brian's head as he was reading a book on the sofa:
HELEN comments: "That's fantastic that is, does he know?"


"It's just like being in Spain!" (sun behind clouds, cold outside)


"What does insanity MEAN???"


(Brian outloud) "What if Helen's got an IQ of 25?"
HELEN: "Actually, I'm only 23"


STUART(out loud) :"What's Deans greatest fear?"
BUBBLE:"Going insane"
HELEN:"No it isn't, its insanity he's scared of"


"Those infrared cameras can see under your duvet covers"


"I've heard that when men's willies are erect they are all the same size"


"I don't like telling clients (her hairdressing customers) that I teach dancing because they might think I'm being big headed."


JOSH(out loud):"I've had four wet dreams ... I wake up in the morning covered."
HELEN: "Covered in what?"


Dean told the group how fans had stalked members of his band.
HELEN:"I've never been stalked. It doesn't happen in Wales,"


"... They're self-indulged with themselves..."


"I fancy cheese on toast." A while later... "I fancy something to eat but I'm not sure what I fancy."

"What's in kidney beans?"



"Jimmy, Isn't that the name of a baby Kangaroo?"


BRIAN(to Helen): "Did you make any mistakes cutting people's hair?"
HELEN: "When I was training, I cut someone's necklace off."


And my personal fav:


"I love blinking, I do!

------------------
forever in a trance


[This message has been edited by urbanjunkie (edited 07-19-2001).]

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Old Post 07-20-2001 03:23 AM
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WastedPotential
sociotard

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: the heart of an awl
Posts: 3725
Post

i really, really expected this thread to be about Tom Jones.

------------------------
POW!

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Old Post 07-20-2001 04:24 AM
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macker
Holy Me-el

Registered: Nov 2000
Location: UK
Posts: 5237
Post

Weird, so did I.

------------------------
May a hundred thousand midgets invade your home singing cheesy lounge-lizard versions of songs from The Wizard of Oz

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Old Post 07-20-2001 06:13 AM
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urbanjunkie
23

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9922
Post

damn the misunderstanding

------------------------
forever in a trance

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Old Post 07-20-2001 06:24 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Angry

quote:
Originally posted by WastedPotential:
i really, really expected this thread to be about Tom Jones.




Me too.



------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

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Old Post 07-22-2001 04:28 AM
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WastedPotential
sociotard

Registered: Aug 2000
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Post



now it is.



The truth behind The Bulge.

------------------------
POW!

[This message has been edited by WastedPotential (edited 07-21-2001).]

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Old Post 07-22-2001 05:19 AM
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urbanjunkie
23

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9922
Angry

DAMN THE LOT OF YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!

------------------------
forever in a trance

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Old Post 07-22-2001 07:52 PM
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Roshigoth
The Cheesemeister

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 18000
Smile

"Oh are you from Wales ?? Do you know a fella named Jonah ?? He used to live in whales for a while." -- Groucho Marx

------------------------
This state of emergency is where I want to be. -- Bj÷rk
Graphic Cheeseworks

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Old Post 07-23-2001 12:10 AM
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Fiend
Medically crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10608
Post

yep she is a blond

almost worth watching it

...almost

------------------------
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

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Old Post 07-23-2001 02:24 AM
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Rav
Nothing

Registered: Jul 2000
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Nothing could make it worth watching

------------------------

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Old Post 07-23-2001 10:16 AM
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pj
Captain America

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: anywhere but here
Posts: 4424
Post

what does this say about our nation when a dappy blond girl like her is so admired.

is she indicative of welsh women?

------------------------

....i've done the math enough to know the dangers of our second guessing.....

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Old Post 07-23-2001 07:36 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Angry

Why are you people not talking about Tom Jones!




------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

[This message has been edited by Paint CHiPs (edited 07-23-2001).]

[This message has been edited by MstrG (edited 07-23-2001).]

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:13 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post



Thunderball

He always runs while others walk,
he acts while other men just talk,
he looks at this world and wants it all,
so, he strikes like thunderball.

He knows the meaning of success;
his needs are more so he gives less;
they call him the winner who takes all,
and he strikes like thunderball.

Any women he wants he'll get,
he will brake any heart without regreat.
His days of asking are all gone.
His fight goes on and on and on,
but he thinks that the fight is worth it all,
so he strikes like thunderbaaaaaaaaall.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

[This message has been edited by Paint CHiPs (edited 07-23-2001).]

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:26 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
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She's a Lady

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.

She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she's never in the way
Something always nice to say, Oh what a blessing.
I can leave her on her own
Knowing she's okay alone, and there's no messing.

She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.

Well she never asks for very much and I don't refuse her.
Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her.
What she's got is hard to find, and I don't want to lose her
Help me build a mansion from my little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.

Well she knows what I'm about,
She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy,
Well she knows me through and through,
She knows just what to do, and how to please me.

She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.
Talkin' about that little lady and the lady is mine.

Yeah yeah yeah She's a Lady
Listen to me baby, She's a Lady
Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady
And the Lady is mine

Yeah yeah yeah She's a Lady
Talkin about this little lady
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Whoa and the lady is mine
Yeah yeah She's a Lady
And the Lady is mine.



------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:27 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
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What's New Pussycat
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
Pussycat, Pussycat
I've got flowers
And lots of hours
To spend with you.
So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat nose!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat
You're so thrilling
And I'm so willing
To care for you.
So go and make up your cute little pussycat face!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat face!

What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah
What's new pussycat? Woah, Woah

Pussycat, Pussycat
You're delicious
And if my wishes
Can all come true
I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips!
Pussycat, Pussycat
I love you
Yes, I do!
You and your pussycat lips!
You and your pussycat eyes!
You and your pussycat nose!

------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

[This message has been edited by Paint CHiPs (edited 07-23-2001).]

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:28 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Angry

You all should stop not talking about Tom Jones RIGHT NOW!!!!





------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:30 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

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Post





YOU try looking that good in fishnets when YOU'RE pushing 60!

------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

[This message has been edited by Paint CHiPs (edited 07-23-2001).]

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:32 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

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*throws panties at Tom Jones*

------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

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Old Post 07-24-2001 12:35 AM
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urbanjunkie
23

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
Posts: 9922
Post

its ok helen, ignore them. our love is eternal.

(and tom jones is gay)

------------------------
forever in a trance

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Old Post 07-24-2001 02:57 AM
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Dead_Inside
Joey's Head Bitch

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: NH
Posts: 6093
Post

quote:
Originally posted by urbanjunkie:
(and tom jones is gay)


Im starting to wonder about Paint.

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Old Post 07-24-2001 04:50 AM
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WastedPotential
sociotard

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: the heart of an awl
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Post

boy, is bondo ever going to be pissed he missed this for some lame-ass working vacation.

------------------------
POW!

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Old Post 07-24-2001 05:42 AM
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Nutrimentia
plata o plomo

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
Posts: 9603
Thumbs up

I have a feeling it will be around for a while though.

------------------------
The Law of Fives is never wrong. CzEch yerself b4 joo rEck yerself.

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Old Post 07-24-2001 08:27 AM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
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Post

This is the best thread ever.

It's like my own personal shrine to Tom Jones.

Thanks urbanjunkie!

Now I can visit here whenever I am feeling blue (or drunk).

------------------------
lego lady the dungeon is the best place in lego land!! YES LEGO MAN i agree!! but what is behind the wall over there!! NOTHING LEGO LADY PLEASE KEEP DRINKING THE DUNGEON WINE!!!

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Old Post 07-26-2001 03:07 AM
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Nutrimentia
plata o plomo

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: The Bottom of the Toyem Pole
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Post

I don't think anyone has yet pointed out that he sand this song in Mars Attacks!!!, an excellent film for blueness and/or drunkness.

------------------------
The Law of Fives is never wrong. CzEch yerself b4 joo rEck yerself.

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Old Post 07-26-2001 03:36 AM
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urbanjunkie
23

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: Playa d'en London
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Post

quote:
Originally posted by Paint CHiPs:
This is the best thread ever.


Thanks urbanjunkie!






i hate myself so much



------------------------
forever in a trance

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Old Post 07-26-2001 04:20 AM
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