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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post Looks like I lost one of my senses

Q. What's blue and fucks grannies
A. Hypothermia

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Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 07:57 PM
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aminal
incomplete

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Erehwon
Posts: 7583
Post

humour?

------------------------
a /\/\ i n a l
"Touch my tears
with your lips"

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Old Post 11-09-2000 07:59 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

Woman goes to the doctor with a bloated stomach and pains. Doctor doesn't know
what's wrong so he takes a blood sample and tells her to come back in a week.
The woman comes back and says 'Oh doctor, I'm in such pain, what's wrong with
me?' to which the doctor replies 'Well, let's put it this way, I hope you like
changing nappies'. So the woman says 'Oh, I am going to have a baby?' and the
doctor says 'No, you've got bowel cancer'.

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Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:03 PM
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Rav
Nothing

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4526
Post

A man is rushing to work one day when he is knocked down by a car. When he comes round in the hospital, his wife is sitting next to the bed. He turns to her and says, "When I was unpopular at school, you took the time to get to know me and we started dating. When I failed my degree at university, you were there beside me. When I couldn't get a job through failing my degree, you were there beside me. When I did get a job, the same job I have been doing for 15 years without a pay rise, you were there beside me. I get run over, wake up in the hospital and you are there beside me. I have something I really need to say to you..." Choking back tears, the man's wifemoves to sit on the bed. She gently picks up her husband's hand in hers, "Yes my darling?" she says, "FUCK OFF YOU WITCH! YOU BRING ME BAD LUCK!"

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I don't have to sell my soul,
He's already in me.
*
Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean that they aren't watching me!
*
No sugar thanks, I'm sweet enough already!
*
Stellar rules my ass!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:12 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
A: Crib death.

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Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:15 PM
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Rav
Nothing

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4526
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Goatboy:
Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
A: Crib death.




Hehe - shouldn't laugh - bad Goatboy



------------------------
I don't have to sell my soul,
He's already in me.
*
Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean that they aren't watching me!
*
No sugar thanks, I'm sweet enough already!
*
Stellar rules my ass!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:18 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

They get worse:

Q: What do you call the smallest pub in the world?
A: The Thalidomide Arms.



------------------------
Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:19 PM
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nymbus
incognito

Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 3030
Post

bad bad goatboy

------------------------
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:29 PM
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Rav
Nothing

Registered: Jul 2000
Location:
Posts: 4526
Post

Haha...thats evil...hehe...you bastard...ha!

------------------------
I don't have to sell my soul,
He's already in me.
*
Just because I'm paranoid it doesn't mean that they aren't watching me!
*
No sugar thanks, I'm sweet enough already!
*
Stellar rules my ass!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:31 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.


How do you make a dead baby float?
A can of root beer and two scoops of dead baby.

------------------------
At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:32 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

A woman's just had a baby. The doctor says I've got some good news and some bad news.
"Whats the bad news?" the woman asks.
"Your baby is ginger" says the doc
"Whats the good news?"
The doctor replies,
"Its dead."

------------------------
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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:32 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

two pedophiles on the beach and one says
"excuse me, your in my son"

------------------------
Posting for Jesus!

[This message has been edited by Goatboy (edited 11-09-2000).]

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:33 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:38 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

What has no hair and 10 fingers on it's ankles?
Gary Glitters latest girlfriend

------------------------
Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:39 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

There was this little boy sitting on the edge of a cliff crying. A man walks up to him and says "Little boy why are you crying?" The little boy says "My parents just fell down the cliff and died!" The man unzips his pants and says "Well this ain't your lucky day is it."

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:40 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

whats green and eats nuts?
syphallis!

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Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:40 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

This I stole from Goatboy in the SPF days.

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic.

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:41 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

Beat this then:

Q: What's black and blue and hates sex?
A: A rape victim.

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Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:41 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

You dare challenge me?

A worker on a construction site of a high rise building climbed all the way to the top of the building before realizing that he needed a second pair of hands to accomplish the task he had in mind. Not wanting to climb all the way back down, and also realizing that no one would hear him if he yelled, he signaled to the foreman on the ground. He pointed first to himself, then his knee, and then the foreman, meaning "I need you." The foreman waved back and then started acting very strangely.... He unzipped his pants, pulled them down to his ankles, and proceeded to jerk off. Totally confused and rather alarmed, the worker ran down all fourteen stories of the high rise, staggered over to the foreman and gasped, "What the hell are you doing?" "I got your message," replied the foreman. "I just wanted to let you know that I was coming."

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:42 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Paint CHiPs:
This I stole from Goatboy in the SPF days.

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic.



My favorite all time joke.

I think you were the only one who got it, Paint.



------------------------
Posting for Jesus!

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:43 PM
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Fiend
Medically crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10608
Post

quote:
Originally posted by Cage:
What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.


HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHH!!!!!!

OMG!!!!!
*falls off chair and tries to breathe*


------------------------
If God = Love and love = blind: wouldn't that make Stevie Wonder god?

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:43 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

How do you fuck a lady with no arms and no legs? Throw her into the ocean.

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:44 PM
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Goatboy
the anticlimax

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: A New England
Posts: 9208
Post

Q Why did God give women multiple orgasms
A So they can fucking moan when they're happy too

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:44 PM
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Cage
Shaved Sack

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Boston, MA, Center of the Universe
Posts: 4539
Post

A man is in the process of confessing his sins when the priest suddenly interupts, "Excuse me, son. I hate to interupt, but I've got the runs something fierce. Would you be willing to mind the confessional for a few minutes, while I'm gone? If you come over to this side, there's a chart on the wall listing the appropriate penance for various sins."

The man agrees and it doesn't take long before a woman enters the confessional and begins reciting a list of sins including impure thoughts, masturbation and anal sex. The man consults the chart and assigns the appropriate penance for the first two, but is at a loss when he finds that anal sex doesn't appear on the chart. In a panic, he sticks his head out of the booth and motions a nearby altar boy over.

"Hey kid, what's the priest usually give for anal sex?"

"Usually just a candy bar and a couple Pokemon cards."

------------------------
At Least I'm Not You

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:45 PM
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Paint CHiPs
Smartest Man in the World

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Location Location
Posts: 26816
Post

What's the worst thing about fucking a seven year old boy up the ass?

Getting the blood out of the clown suit.

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Old Post 11-09-2000 08:48 PM
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