The Iraqxicon: A Guide To The Words And Phrases Of War
quote: THE IRAQXICON: A GUIDE TO THE WORDS AND PHRASES OF WAR
It is said that the first casualty of war is truth. But readers of the Brains Trust should have no worries, as once again we show ourselves willing to inform and analyse world events with the triviality and superficiality for which we are renown the world over. This handy down-load and throw away guide to the vocabulary of the current conflict is essential reading for all war junkies...
US Policy Words and Phrases
Resign: kowtow, make way for puppets
Democracy: oligarchy friendly to the US
Crimes against humanity: crimes against humanity condoned by our enemies, e.g. ghastly treatment of women in Afghanistan under the Taliban
Local cultural mores and religious tradition: crimes against humanity condoned by our friends, e.g. ghastly treatment of women in Afghanistan at present
Military Double Speak
Weapons of Mass Destruction: nuclear bombs, daisy cutters, cruise Missiles. (Standard ordnance of the US Army.)
Short-range missile: (n) (1) An extremely dangerous Iraqi weapon system. (2) A totally innocuous North Korean weapon system.
Military rations: (n) (U.S. definition) A three course meal with wine, followed by coffee and cheese board. (U.K. definition) Spam. Possibly a bit of rice.
Shock and awe: The process of turning sand into hot glass.
Camouflage: (U.S. definition) clothing or masking equipment matching local terrain, used to conceal, obscure and disguise personnel or equipment from enemy eyes. (U.K. definition) whatever attire, netting or paint that happens to be in the stores this week that looks remotely like something a soldier or tank might wear.
Alert Level Orange: (n) (U.S. definition) Terror alert high. (U.K. definition) No cause for concern.
"By any means necessary": See "weapons of mass destruction".
Media Phrase Wear
Embedded correspondent: (n) Someone who has made so many unsuccessful attempts to join the T.A. that the only way they can achieve full sexual arousal is to ride around in a military helicopter whilst shouting incoherently into an Army-issue microphone.
Rolling news coverage: avant-garde performance art. Most commonly, the act of repeatedly displaying the same message every five minutes over a long period of time.
Vigorous and Decisive Hollywood Reaction to Threat of War: no red carpet for the Oscars
Fair and Balanced: (adj) Anything broadcast by those broad-minded folks at Fox News.