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scatmonkey
burnin' ring of fiber

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: 51N3, 114W3
Posts: 1071
Matrix: Reloaded (The Abridged Script)

Stellar. Giggles and guffaws. I give it two "whoa"s up.

THE MATRIX RELOADED: THE ABRIDGED SCRIPT™

My personal favorite part:

quote:
INT. DARK, NOIR-ESQUE SEWER

LAURENCE FISHBURNE, CARRIE-ANNE MOSS, and KEANU REEVES join #SewerChat with all the other rebels.

LAURENCE FISHBURNE
Gimme ops! I want ops!

JADA PINKETT SMITH
Shut up. Listen everyone. The Osiris has sent a transmission - the machines are drilling straight down to Zion. It's a wonder they didn't think to do this sooner.

LAURENCE FISHBURNE
Ops! Ops! Ops!

JADA PINKETT SMITH
Fine! Jesus.

* SexyJada69 sets mode: +o TheOneBeliever.

LAURENCE FISHBURNE
Woohoo!

* SexyJada69 was kicked by TheOneBeliever (Don't hog ops!)
* Joins: SexyJada69

JADA PINKETT SMITH
Not funny.


It's funny cause it's true. *wipes tear from eye*

*edit: found via Megarad.

__________________
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
-Steven Wright

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Old Post 06-20-2003 10:00 PM
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morgana
THE Bitch

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: my mother's bloody womb
Posts: 7542

They are CHASED by TWO ALBINO RASTAFARIANS. More video
game music plays in the background.

ALBINO RASTAFARIAN #1
We are utterly pointless.

ALBINO RASTAFARIAN #2
Yes we are.


tee hee.

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Old Post 06-21-2003 05:50 AM
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Fiend
Medically crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10608

KEANU REEVES
Who are you?

THE EXPLAINER
I am The Explainer. I designed the
matrix screenplay. Unable to
decently explain the convoluted plot
well, I have resorted to putting
myself here in the final act and
having you ask all of the questions
the audience wants to ask.
(dramatic pause)
.
.
.
.
.

THE EXPLAINER
You will find the answers to these
questions when you watch The Matrix
Revolutions, coming later in 2003.

KEANU REEVES
I hate you.

THE EXPLAINER
Perhaps you should drink more
Powerade


hahaha!!

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"We don't have to save the world. The world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about is whether or not the world we live in will be capable of sustaining us in it." -Douglas Adams

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Old Post 06-21-2003 06:07 PM
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RiZZ
awsomeness incarnit

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9232

hahahah good one feind

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RiZZ > you.

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Old Post 06-21-2003 09:48 PM
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bad-moj0
abbazaba u my only friend

Registered: Sep 2001
Location: great white north
Posts: 568

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Old Post 06-22-2003 04:17 AM
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Weasel Spoor
"The Man"

Registered: Jun 2002
Location: All over the place
Posts: 2803


This is my favourite bit:

KEANU REEVES
Wait, you're a program right? So
some machine actually specifically
programmed you and gave you the
ability to be jealous, conniving,
and spiteful?

MONICA BELLUCI
Not only that, but they made me a
hornball. I will only help if you
make out with me.

LAURENCE FISHBURNE
What? It's bad enough that the
agents no longer pose any threat at
all, but now these are the kind of
obstacles we must overcome to save
Zion? Make out with Monica Belluci?
What will we have to do next, eat
our way through a prison wall made
of chocolate?

This is great! Thanks for this...

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Old Post 06-23-2003 02:35 PM
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scatmonkey
burnin' ring of fiber

Registered: Sep 2000
Location: 51N3, 114W3
Posts: 1071

quote:
Originally posted by Weasel Spoor
This is great! Thanks for this...


Welcome. I loved it myself. Some of the other abridged scripts are a pretty good laugh riot too.

__________________
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
-Steven Wright

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