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mmmtravis
stealthy ninja

Registered: May 2002
Location:
Posts: 12286
the return of the apocalypse: which asylumites would you bring with you

this has been done before, but not for a few years, and since i'm above topping (and reading six pages worth of responses), and since the fresh faces probably changed some of your answers, we begin anew....

if god came down to you and was like 'yo motherfucker, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i be destroying this earth place tomorrow, save for you and 15 asylumites of your choosing,' which 15 would you choose?

paint chips - he could speak ad nauseum about plans for the future and tell fantastic tales of the olden days
smug - he's needed to mock paint
bp - hopefully he would be the entertainer, the jester, the artist
rizz - if it really is survival of the fittest, I'VE GOT A CHANCE
fiend - he would figure out a way to distill tequila from limestone
squee - we need somebody morally righteous there, so we can throw rocks at him
slappy - mmm, baby machine
kayla - mmm, baby machine
lu - mmm, fire crotch
shyloh - mmm, squinty-eyed baby machine
sonja - mmm, frisky baby machine
starr - we've got to eat something
large fillipino - i bet we could talk him into doing the manual labor
czech rech - ditto
G - give him a whip, and he can do the coaxing. also, i'd nominate him to be group Secretary, someone has to write our new Genesis.

your turn..

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Old Post 05-25-2004 03:45 AM
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Mugtoe
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 20756

why would I wanna spend my post apocalyptic time with you guys?

I'll be king of the fuckin world. There's a couple of ya who are fuckable, but I can do just as well on my own, thankee.

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quote:
Originally posted by Smug Git
The brotherhood of melon loving will save us all, I am sure of it.

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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434

I never get included in anyone's list in these threads. Having an historian is really not considered to be a high enough asset.

Though I do have some other valuable skills that could come in handy, like how to hydraulicaly pump water. No body ever thinks about that. And I do know a little bit about gardening. Someone's gotta grow the veggies.

Trav, you forgot one essential person on your list - Wonderaz. Flight would be useful, even if it's in a balloon. And besides you'd need at least one crazy old fart to liven things up once in awhile.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:06 AM
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Mugtoe
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 20756

nobody knows you, bill. you didn't start actually posting until very recently.

archivist, maybe.

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quote:
Originally posted by Smug Git
The brotherhood of melon loving will save us all, I am sure of it.

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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44684

paint chips - expendable decoy negotiator

nute - actual negotiator

smug - comic relief and beer seeker

rizz - self-propelled sandbag

fiend - inflatable sandbag

large fillipino - decoy tank

czech - tank

mugtoe - marauding homo negotiator

spaceboy - peace offering if attacked by
marauding homos.

phil - backup decoy negotiator

G - prison guard/interrogator

phorbie - sultry spy

dmoon - car thief

mudded - in case we have to row a boat

fefe - revenue source

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:27 AM
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Chantrea
defected

Registered: Sep 2000
Location:
Posts: 2729
i like glorified popularity contests, too

My choices were based on people who I think I could tolerate living with for eternity, and who I think could offer something valuable (entertainment, mostly).

Mugtoe: I've seen his gardening skills. And he has a lot of great stories to share, too.
tack: He'd be the designated male baby maker, and would bring great self esteem to all the girls by telling every one of them they are hot.
shyloh: We'd get along wonderfully and can make up dorky RPG games to keep ourselves occupied.
Lu: Same answer as for shyloh. Shout out to my fellow TOCer.
Spaceboy: The whole we're dating thing.
morgana: Fiesty personalities would keep things interesting. And we could talk about Jem and anime.
phorbie: Another fiesty personality, who would offer a lot of great stories. I hear she can cook unbelievably, too. She would also probably make me snort with laughter.
cw: I would need a fellow pot head to giggle over silly things with.
dmoon: Just cause he has a nice head and would be good eye candy for the other ladies.
Paint: We may have to kill him eventually, but I think he'd be entertaining and laid back at the start. We'd have to keep a watch out for the crazy cannibal eyes.
Caff: Pure entertainment value, as well.
Smug: Goatboy would rape and murder all of tack's children, so we're stuck with his brother Smug for witty remarks.
fiend: I would like to see him grow a mexifro. And his mexican genetics automatically make him a fine male spooge producer.
PT/TT: He cracks me up. And his life seems very interesting and he'd have some good stories to share, too. Smug, Paint, and him will likely form a super team of funny and we'd never need worry about being bored.

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Mordecai
.

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Denver
Posts: 23169

I can build shelter, make fires, hunt, trap, fish, weave,tan hides, work metal and stone.

I can shoot guns, bows, throw a spear, I know a fair bit about edible plants. I can even fashion crude watercraft.

So what the hell do I need you people for?

Companionship I suppose.

I'd take muggie for his green thumb and story telling, and I'll stick with that, fifteen is too damned many mouths to feed.

-m

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Trenchant_Troll
ad hominid

Registered: Mar 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 44684

Especially when you can feed each other's, eh?

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:41 AM
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Caffeine
Caffeine

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7118

Oh snap. I remember this.

I think most people didn't choose me because they felt I'd just inline skate the whole time.

OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. ON ME.

So. The list.

Smug Git - He's hilarious. He's intelligent. The list doesn't have many girls so I'd need someone like Smug to absorb the gay vibes.
Paint CHiPs - He would probably wander off while getting high. Bad choice.
philjit - I can't see how he would help at all. Bad choice.
Chantrea - While there might not be Quake 3 in this new weird world there probably would be a need for inane names that rhyme with "oo". And if not, well, I'm going for the 'team' that is most likely to die.
oxsan - OK. So he might be older than most. In fact, he's around 4 times my age. I think that's a good thing, though.
Nutrimentia - For some reason I think of him as a Moody Blues fan. I've always wanted that to save someone from death. He lives.
CHiPs Jr. - Someone needs to lead the post-apocalyptic debate team. Or mock trial team. Or moot court. Or whatever it is he does.
Spaceboy - He gave me a humor point a week ago. Sir, you just bought your freedom. A week ago, that is.
Dog Breath - He's 4 posters in one.
Goatboy - What if the girls don't want to reproduce?
czechreck - What if the girls don't want to reproduce or someone needs to be killed accidentally?
Feral Automaton - What if the girls don't want to... hrm. Hhhot.
Melon - He's melon. He sent me a CD. That's worth life, I feel.
Kayla - What if the gir-
flocat - I have a feeling he'd like to live to see anarchy. You, you, you anarchist.

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SatansLeftHand
buttercup

Registered: Jan 2002
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 5912

good question. i think...
cal - he knows how to kill stuff. never know when that might come in handy.
slappy - for the reason travis mentioned.
shyloh - same reason.
phorbie - proven baby machine, and chick-fights with morgana.
morgana - proven baby machine, and she claims to be a fabulous cook. plus if she agreed to be the schoolteacher we could have a delightfully cynical first post-apocalypse generation.
funkay - only marginally an asylumite, but we still have her webcam so she counts. baby machine duties for her.
tt - he can share the schoolteaching duties with morgana, giving us a generation of children who are not just cynical, but also thoroughly fucked up. that, and i hear he gardens.
czech - because the world needs over-sized people in it besides myself.
venus - baby machine (proven variety).
kayla - baby machine (for czech).
fiend - never know when a wetback's going to come in handy.
caffeine - i'm not sure i have a good reason for this. it just seems to work for some reason.
chantrea - would also be a good choice for baby machine.
lu - yeah. we all know why lu is on the list.
karen - another proven baby machine. plus she's cool and all.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:53 AM
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Mugtoe
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 20756

quote:
Originally posted by Mordecai
...I'd take muggie for his green thumb ...-m



that weren't my thumb. I was just tellin you a story.

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quote:
Originally posted by Smug Git
The brotherhood of melon loving will save us all, I am sure of it.

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Caffeine
Caffeine

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7118

I offer absolutely nothing to your team.

Glad to be aboard.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:55 AM
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mmmtravis
stealthy ninja

Registered: May 2002
Location:
Posts: 12286

quote:
Originally posted by SatansLeftHand
good question. i think...
cal - he knows how to kill stuff. never know when that might come in handy.
slappy - for the reason travis mentioned.
shyloh - same reason.
phorbie - proven baby machine, and chick-fights with morgana.
morgana - proven baby machine, and she claims to be a fabulous cook. plus if she agreed to be the schoolteacher we could have a delightfully cynical first post-apocalypse generation.
funkay - only marginally an asylumite, but we still have her webcam so she counts. baby machine duties for her.
tt - he can share the schoolteaching duties with morgana, giving us a generation of children who are not just cynical, but also thoroughly fucked up. that, and i hear he gardens.
czech - because the world needs over-sized people in it besides myself.
venus - baby machine (proven variety).
kayla - baby machine (for czech).
fiend - never know when a wetback's going to come in handy.
caffeine - i'm not sure i have a good reason for this. it just seems to work for some reason.
chantrea - would also be a good choice for baby machine.
lu - yeah. we all know why lu is on the list.
karen - another proven baby machine. plus she's cool and all.

how did that list take you two hours to prepare? you just named every fuckable girl here and czech.

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Spaceboy
Oblivious poster.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

Yes! Mentioned twice!

Mugtoe: for gardening, and maybe plowing. Plowing fields. Not plowing me =(
Chantrea: girlfriend, yep.
rizz: makes me look normal.
fefe: makes rizz look normal
Smug: I bet he could build a catapult. No, really.
melon: soldier + bannana car = cornerstone of the new civilization.
tack: the afro must never be lost to the world. Besides, isn't he somewhere around 11 feet tall?
czech: liftin' stuff. And buying me breakfast.
phorbie: would probably rule over us with an iron fist.
goatboy: I just wanna find out which one's Kain and which one's Abel.
T_T: I echo my girlfriend's Anti Boredom League statement.
dmoon: because he's cool. I don't need justification!
large_filipino: cars are important. And so are bongmaking techniques.
paintchips: We can defend each other heterosexuality. Poorly.
Lu: Breeding purposes.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 04:56 AM
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SatansLeftHand
buttercup

Registered: Jan 2002
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 5912

quote:
Originally posted by mmmtravis
how did that list take you two hours to prepare? you just named every fuckable girl here and czech.
it was more like one hour. and i took a smoke break and tried to keep up with chat while writing my list.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 05:04 AM
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Spaceboy
Oblivious poster.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

quote:
Originally posted by Caffeine
Spaceboy - He gave me a humor point a week ago. Sir, you just bought your freedom. A week ago, that is.



No I didn't!

...did I?

eh. here's one:
...wait for it.......


[p]

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Inky
-------------------------

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 6056

sw/ot
sonja
dmoon
morgana
smug
nute
redguard
bp
feral

maybe some others, i dunno.

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Caffeine
Caffeine

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7118

Sucker.

...

hrm.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 05:14 AM
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Mugtoe
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 20756

that's funny.

you guys want me for gardenin.


uh huh

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quote:
Originally posted by Smug Git
The brotherhood of melon loving will save us all, I am sure of it.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 05:15 AM
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Caffeine
Caffeine

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Cambridge
Posts: 7118

I was tempted to add you just to see what a smugtoe would look like.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 05:16 AM
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Spaceboy
Oblivious poster.

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 2300

quote:
Originally posted by Caffeine
Sucker.

...

hrm.



Well played!
I'd invite you to the apocalypse, but your wily ways may cause problems. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice: double shame on you!

You can be the stowaway of shame.

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Mugtoe
Scarred for Life

Registered: Oct 2001
Location:
Posts: 20756

mord - why wouldn't I? he's perfect and he's good eatin size.

rooster - because he is by far the classiest gentleman on the entire board, and I haven't seen him naked yet. savin him from the apocalypse oughta be worth at least half a manchicken

phorbie - I may be queer, but I still have a pulse


phil - for Marx


goat - for his ability to calculate the exchange rate at 3am in the darkness of the Casa de Campo


smug - okay, he's not eye-candy for me, but he reminds me that I am, in fact, damned for all time to a hot, blunted testicle fork. and he buys the occasional round as well


caffeine - he's legal now, though he needs to eat more steak'n taters. almost too artfag lookin for me, and I'm after ornaments here. not tryin to build a new society. should be shot for even includin him, however, as he's been here since about age nine


sigmo - I'd feel stupid for leavin out the best-known, non-posting member. but if I rescue him, it means I get to diddle the other boys while he cleans the island, or whatever it is we're livin on, and gives me stern looks. 'sides, he's gotta great ass even at the ripe old age of 24. I think of him as "mama".

chantrea - I just looked at her pic again. I'd hit it. but she's gotta gimme anal too.


spaceboy - for...gardenin. yeah


czech - cuz he's moy doomplin wot dances wiff me, little sugarplum

cw - the only one here who may smoke more dope than me, and I like her tits, which is odd


lanin - I've known him since kindergarten. he gets to bring his dog, too. he has no aesthetic value for me. I'm just throwin one of my spaces away on him outta loyalty

sabine - you hot little bitch. I wanna crawl so far up in yer bidness that I can see daylight out the north end. I could waller round in that for days and days without comin up for air.


corn - meee-fuckin-ow, daddy. jesus.


lightbulb - just to make you hang with the rest of us, miss priss. 'sides, yer nice eye-candy yerself.

just cuz yer all my bitches now doesn't mean I'm gonna lord it over ya or nothin. eternal gratitude, frequently expressed'll suffice just fine.

I didn't count, btw. maybe I can add some more

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quote:
Originally posted by Smug Git
The brotherhood of melon loving will save us all, I am sure of it.

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Old Post 05-25-2004 05:42 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34411

Mercy me.

A-Lists are such fleeting things.

1. That jackass'd be on th'list. True, he ain't wurf a shit fer nuthin', but th'goofy sumbitch'll still owe me money if'n when that day should come.

2. All th'wimmin with child-bearin' hips. Duh.

3. We'd need a few limeys, such as CzEcK, smuggumz, spoolip, goatbutt, Dac, et al, 'cause with that accent, they wuz born t'be butlers. Y'know? We'd hafta turn 'em into eunuchs, though. Make 'em more efficient.

4. Oxsan, just 'cause it wouldn't be right t'leave 'im behind. I'd put 'im in charge o' th'harem.

5. GoFuYo, 'cause sumbuddy's gotta breed FeFe (see #2, above).

6. Mugtoe, t'run th'messhall. Mord'll be his cabin boy. Noot gits dish duty.

7. Redguard, surgeon (see #3, above, referencing eunuchs).

8. MstrG, t'assist Redguard, 'cause I imagine th'Limeys won't be inclined t'let their walnuts go quietly into that good night.

9. Cheesemeister 'n' Booda Peder, just because.

10. Dingle, t'keep Mug 'n' mord company, 'cause deep down inside, he's curious . . . curious as hell.

11. PT, resident minstrel.

12. CAL, t'put meat on th'table. Give 'im Azrael, too, 'cause CAL will need some good stinkbait fer trappin' 'n' fishin'.

13. Paintipoo 'n' fiend'll be towelboys fer th'community hot tub, after they're "fixed" (see #7, above).

14. BnB, pharmacist.

15. All th'rest o' y'all who drink Dickel. Y'drink Dickel, you've earned it. RiZZ'll be in charge o' Dickel rations. TEFL be in charge o' RiZZ.

16. Fred.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 05-25-2004 at 08:55 AM

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Old Post 05-25-2004 08:40 AM
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RiZZ
awsomeness incarnit

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: aggressivly happy
Posts: 9232

the reasones are a bit diffrent this time round

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Old Post 05-25-2004 08:54 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34411
Talking

quote:
Originally posted by RiZZ
the reasones are a bit diffrent this time round

No shit, sherlock. It's apparent th'only thang Mug's got on his mind fer th'end times is folks he wants t'cornhole.

Now, ain't you glad you didn't make his list, RiZZ?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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