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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434
Bad dogs









http://dog-shaming.com/

I'd like to put one on my dog that says, "I like to roll in shit and then want to be petted".

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Old Post 08-23-2012 08:56 PM
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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434

__________________
"Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform." -Stephen Colbert -

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Old Post 08-23-2012 08:59 PM
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Pinecrika
Muffer's He-beast

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 19810

My folks dog will eat a whole chicken if you don't put it up high enough.

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"Let Ebola decide. " ....Tuba

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Old Post 08-23-2012 09:02 PM
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cruncle
cwuncle

Registered: May 2010
Location: perth
Posts: 6291

One of my fbook friends in Ohio submitted this one...


Submitted this to dogshaming.tumblr.com. Loki LOVES EATING PANTIES.

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Old Post 08-23-2012 09:27 PM
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DRZ
SS: GIFs ARE autoplays!

Registered: Jan 2011
Location:
Posts: 9451

Dogs are fucking stupid. My cat won't even eat other brands of cat food.

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Old Post 08-23-2012 09:37 PM
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SimpleSimon
Dead Horse Rider

Registered: Dec 2002
Location:
Posts: 28681

Bad Dogs

This is a work of fiction, very loosely based upon my life.




Bad Dogs

Chapter One: Dusty



I grew up in the country, and in the course of my life I've known many dogs. Most were great fun, a few were sneaky, conniving scoundrels, and a very few were outright thugs. Much like people, in that regard.

The first "bad" dog I ever knew was a cow dog on the ranch we lived on in Southern California at the time of my birth. Dusty paid no attention to anyone except my Dad and my Uncle John, and even with them he was surly. The only reason Dad didn't shoot him out of hand was his usefulness - you could point out a particular animal in a herd and tell him to "cut 'er out", and in moments that animal would be standing before you, shaking and bawling in fear.

Everyone else on the ranch, from the lowest hand to the owner, was afraid of that snarling yellow mutt. With good cause, too - he'd sooner take your hand off than let you pet him, and god help the animal that crossed him. Even the 2,000 lb prize bull was meek around him.

I was born with serious club-footedness in both feet, and I spent many months in the Shriner's hospital in LA, and many, many more unable to motivate around very well. My older brothers and sister were all wild, whooping Indians charging around that 22,000 acre ranch on foot, a-horseback, and on bicycles or scooters long before I was able to do much more than make it to the chain link fence around the yard.

Dusty hated them. Most especially he hated my brother Mark, who at age four could drop the loop of a lasso around one hoof of a running steer. Nothing and nobody was safe from Mark with his rope. The first time Mark roped old Dusty, that dog like to wore himself plumb out fighting that lasso. The next time, he didn't fight the lasso, he just came up that rope in a low yellow streak and slammed into Mark full tilt, knocking him down and standing in the middle of him.

First my Dad knew of it was when Rosie burst into the machine shed screaming that Dusty was killing Mark. Dad came out, saw that old dog standing in the middle of Mark, snarling and damned near foaming at the mouth, and charged him. Well, Dusty saw that coming and backed off, dragging Mark's lasso. Once Dad figured out what had happened, he got the rope off Dusty, tanned Mark's hide with it, and made him put it up for a week.

Dusty, ever after that, had a great hatred for Mark. He'd lay in wait for him around the corner of barns and outbuilding, and just generally terrorized him fiercely. He was a damned smart dog, and I guess he figured out that anybody who was a target of Mark's mischief was just naturally his ally. I was such a target, constantly. By the time I was 2 and a half, I could get around pretty good in my braces, although I was never what you would call fast. Dusty saw Mark terrorizing me by zooming at me on his bicycle, or tripping me up, or what have you, and that mean old dog became my shadow. Never once let me pet him, wouldn't take food from my hands, or get within closer than about 3 feet of me, but he was always there unless he was off with Dad working the cattle.

Anytime he wasn't working, if I was outside that yellow cur was slinking along behind or beside me. Come up to the corner of a building, he'd scout ahead, and many a time he flushed Mark out, yelling. He was my protector, but never my friend. I used to watch him studying the other animals on the ranch, and watching my brothers and sisters, and I could see that old dog thinking.

I used to sit at the end of the old bunkhouse, where the slope of the ground caused there to be about a 4 foot high crawl space that was until very late afternoon cool and shady. All the ranch dogs would be under there, and usually a half dozen cats, avoiding that brutal San Joaquin valley heat. When I'd walk under there, the dogs would companionably move aside and make me a space on the cool dirt, at least till Dusty showed up. Then I'd be at one end of an oval space about 10 feet by 8, with Dusty smack in the middle. None of the other animals would encroach on his space.

Well, I was back under there one day when Mark came looking for me, calling my name. Dusty bristled up at the sound of his voice, and rose to his feet. The other dogs sidled even farther from him, the cats disappeared up under the floorboards of the other end of the bunkhouse. As Mark came around the end of the bunkhouse into sight, Dusty started snarling; you know what I mean, that low rumbling snarl with real menace dripping from it, that snarl that says, "this time I'm gonna kill you."

Well, Mark wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He'd bout had it with that old dog, and quicker than you�d believe he dropped a loop around Dusty's neck. He had learned something from the last time, though, cause he snubbed that rope around a post and backed off, keeping a good tension on it. Dusty charged him, and like to broke his neck when he hit the end of that rope. It flipped him over backwards and he hit the ground damned hard. He staggered to his feet, and for about 30 seconds he fought that rope like a wild cat. I'd backed up under the bunkhouse with the other dogs, and was watching wide-eyed.

Dusty suddenly quit fighting, and just stood there, panting in the heat of the afternoon sun. Mark was out at the end of the rope, taunting him. I watched Dusty turn and look around, then look down the rope to the post he was snubbed on, and I could see that crafty dog thinking. Suddenly he shot toward that post, and I screamed at Mark to drop the rope and run for the house. For once, he did the smart thing. He dropped the rope and ran. Dusty went around that post, but the loose rope snagged on it as he did and tumbled him again.

It is probably the only thing that saved Mark's life. Dusty, snarling and wild, struggled loose from the loop and took off after Mark in a streak. Mark hit the gate on the chain link fenced yard and just barely got it slammed on the catch when Dusty hit it like a freight train. For about ten minutes old Dusty snarled up and down that fence, trying to get at Mark, who was hunkered, trembling and pale, on the front stoop.

Finally, Dusty calmed down a bit, and came walking back toward the bunkhouse. The other dogs boiled out from under there like their lives depended on being somewhere, anywhere else. Likely they did.

Dusty grabbed that lasso and drug it under the bunkhouse, laid down, and commenced to chewing. Now, I don't know if you've ever handled a real roping lasso, but that is about the toughest, hardest rope you'll ever see. In the next 2 hours, Dusty chewed that rope up into 2 - 3 foot long chunks. By the time Dad came in from the foothills where he'd been up blowing a reservoir, that rope was so thoroughly destroyed you couldn't have used a single piece to tie a gate shut - none were long enough.

Mark told his story bout the mad dog, I told my story about the whole thing. Dad cogitated a while, then he went out to the bunkhouse and saw Dusty lying there in the middle of a rat's nest of chewed lasso, rope burn on his neck.

Well, he came back in laughing at Mark, telling him he was damned lucky that old dog hadn't caught and savaged him something fierce. Mark was so mad about his lasso that he was crying; Dad just told him to count it a good damned lesson.

The next day Dad took Dusty with him up to the old line cabin in the hills where the Basque hermit lived, and introduced them. He told Dusty to stay, and the only times I ever saw that old mutt again were when we'd drive up there bout once a month with simple supplies for that old man.

Copyright Patrick Early
Oct 27, 2003

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Old Post 08-24-2012 12:22 AM
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cruncle
cwuncle

Registered: May 2010
Location: perth
Posts: 6291

TL;DR.

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world's luckiest motherfuckers
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Old Post 08-24-2012 01:36 AM
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avert_your_eyes
The Ultimate Male

Registered: Sep 2010
Location:
Posts: 3374

quote:
Originally posted by DRZ
Dogs are fucking stupid. My cat won't even eat other brands of cat food.



'My cat...'



You're a fucking single, white women in her 40's, who's gonna head for jamaican love-slaves in a couple of years.

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"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes"

William Gibson

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Old Post 08-24-2012 12:10 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30905

Yeah, it's been posted before. Nevertheless, many would call him a "bad dog", but I can't help but wonder if she thinks he's a "good dog":



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-25-2012 08:59 AM
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CRSR
Hits Moi!

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: The 'Knife
Posts: 4727

Girls have smelly cunts

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Old Post 08-25-2012 09:09 AM
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Pinecrika
Muffer's He-beast

Registered: Jul 2001
Location: Aotearoa
Posts: 19810

quote:
Originally posted by CRSR
Girls have smelly cunts


Then perhaps you need to get out of the trailer park and search elsewhere.

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"Let Ebola decide. " ....Tuba

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Old Post 08-25-2012 09:41 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30905

Won't do any good. Extremely contagious, the trailer trash has become a worldwide pandemic. Despite frantic government efforts toward education and prevention, a recent outbreak was reported to be spreading like wildfire even in NZ.



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-25-2012 03:11 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
Posts: 53106

They are actually quite good.

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I want a Trump sex doll.
I would throw it in a Orangutan enclosure
And watch the orgy.

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Old Post 08-28-2012 03:57 AM
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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434

__________________
"Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform." -Stephen Colbert -

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Old Post 09-07-2012 09:09 PM
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Roshigoth
The Cheesemeister

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 18000

.

Attachment: tribbles.jpg
This has been downloaded 53 time(s).

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Old Post 09-28-2012 12:07 AM
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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434

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"Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform." -Stephen Colbert -

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Old Post 12-01-2012 08:47 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30905



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-02-2012 05:27 PM
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PNG
you'd eat it

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: different
Posts: 8176

i love the color, the look and everything..

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everything that irritates us about others, can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
(C) jung

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Old Post 12-02-2012 06:19 PM
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billgerat
Hope-nosis

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ObamaNation
Posts: 26434

But what about the dog?

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"Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform." -Stephen Colbert -

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Old Post 12-02-2012 07:09 PM
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PNG
you'd eat it

Registered: Jul 2005
Location: different
Posts: 8176

but when you joke.... ure a real killer billge

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everything that irritates us about others, can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
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Old Post 12-04-2012 01:53 AM
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Sookee
good luck with that.

Registered: Mar 2007
Location:
Posts: 7179

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Old Post 12-04-2012 04:39 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30905



Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-05-2012 08:05 AM
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