I didn't break up with him because I didn't like him (er, double negative, sorry)...
We always got along well, but we had a conflict of interests. I needed to focus on my life & what I wanted to do with it, & so did he. It was hard on both of us. he knew it wasn't working & respected my decision. We didn't want to loose each other & so, we remained friends.
I've been single since October.
Things have gone well since then. We get along well, we talk, we hang out. We talk about our lives & what we want & how we feel. We're pretty honest with eachother, It's nice.
romatically neither of us are interested in anybody. We both have had offers, but we both do not want to deal with the crap & distractions that would come when taking on a new lover. We are both focusing on our creative efforts & it is all good.
thing is though, neither of us has gotten laid since October.
you see where this is going.
he is starting to look real good. REAL GOOD! I do not want to get back together with him at this time. I have too many other things going on & besides I may be moving. & he has no interest in going to any of the places that I want to go to. It's a good chance that our lives may go their seperate ways. He too may be moving out of the state soon, & feels the same way.
Neither of us like one night stands or casual sexual relationships. All the women he sees are at work, & a few of them are interested in him, but he doesn't want to go there again. All my prospects so far are not anything I would remotley consider getting involved with. I have no time or inclination to start a new romantic relationship.
to make a long story shorter, it has been discussed & we have admitted to the other that we are horney muthafuckas. He has said that he would like to (at least once) renew the sexual side of our assocation. I am not so sure I want to do that, not for lack of interest tho! I don't want to fuck up a good friendship now. & so I told him I'd think about it.
Last night, he took me out to dinner & a movie for my birthday (feb 20).
Seeing him. After all this was discussed on the phone. he had the vibe that he wanted to kiss me. & so things were a little... well not tense, not strained.... & not uncomfortable really. Perhaps a smigen of all 3. Anyway. At dinner we talked about what was going on in our lives , & we had a good time. Then movie. We saw Cast Away (eh, it was Ok). We are both not small people. He used to be an american football player, & has put on a few pounds since then. He's not what I would call fat tho, he's just a big guy. So instead of fighting over the armrest that we shared he put his arm around the back of my chair & held my hand for a moment. then he started to caress it.
Lemme tell ya. Boys! nothing is more of a turn on than a guy who likes to touch! & he just knows how touch the skin without going straight for the tender parts. (he doesn't know it, but it was that tallent that got me in bed w/him in the first place.)
it was nice being physically close to someone again.
& so, drive home.
webitched about the cold. & a girl that he works with that has been trying to get him to go out with her called 3 times on his cell phone (he wont go cos she apparently gets involved in self destructive behavior). We discussed that. I asked him why he doesn't just shag the lass, for he does find her physically attractive. He said no, he doesn't want to have relations with people he works with ever again (we met at work). & we talked about other things of no consequence.
Home finally. & he pulls up. We say goodbye & we look at each other. & had decided I would give him a quick kiss on the ride home. & I do
and it goes on
my neck starts to hurt
and it goes on
I'm left breathless.
I won't take him up stairs to my place. My apartment is a complete distaster area, & I want to make no hasty decisions.
he looks at me with that look that men have when the little head has taken over. he has a little grin on his face. I ask him what now. he says it's my move.
apartment messy! no hasty decisions!
I kiss him again.
& it goes on ... he kisses my neck, & works his way down... wooboy!
good thing it's late. nobody is noticing we are making out like high skool kids in my ex-boyfriends car!
we have to stop! things are getting a little too crazy.
he pulls back & I rearrange my clothes back to a more decent state. He asks me what I want... he brushes my hair from my face. I close my eyes as he touches my ear, my neck...
I think for a moment. I look out across the parking lot...
he smiles & said he can tell when I make up my mind from the look on my face.
he's going home.
We make arrangements to get together on sunday. I need to scan some things (you'll see). & he has offered to assist. I get out of his car & he watches me untill I get into my place.
meaningless sex is awesome if you can accept that is just what it is...
its basically mutual masturbation with the complications of possibly getting attached , pregnant, or catching something.
i highly recommend it if it can be done, but if your one of those " i get attached" types, DONT DO IT~!
p.s. ill give you some meaningless lovin PMG...*licks*
"Men are all alike--except the one you've met who's different."-Mae West
"Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em."- also Mae West
I drive over, & just walk in (his door is always unlocked when he is home). Nobody's in the living room, so I yell HEY! I hear a "down here" from the basement, which is basically 'his room'.
he's at the computer, finishing a download, & wearing nothing but underwear and a sheet (he'd been down there all morning apparently trying to make sure that the download finished, some online catalogue that he had to pay 2 bucks for).
we look at eachother...
he says 'come here' with a little smile on his face, & he is looking me up and down.
I walk over of course, & he pulls me down to him in a long kiss. Then he starts going for my clothing, (I was a little supprised that he just wanted to get right to it, but then we've known eachother for a long time so there's no longer a need for small talk).
& then we're both naked, him in his chair, me kneeling on the floor, kissing and molesting . He pulls back and sez 'let's go upstars'.
And both of us nekkidd as birds, run up 2 flights of stairs, to his room. He's grabbing my ass as we go.
He's got a waterbed. I slide on, roll over & look at him. He stands at the door and looks at me grinning for a moment. He the joins me, climbing on top taking advantage of my position. He then goes and performs on me oraly
so when I couldn't take it anymore. I said 'come here', & he lifts his head & looks at me. He attires his member with a rubber sheath. He then mounts me.
not to sound like a porno, but I had forgotten how big (thick) he was.
soon I'm screaming, he grabs my legs & pushes my legs up over my head so that they rest on his shoulders. The waterbed is rocking us.
I LIKE that waterbed!
& so... after we are both sated, we go back down stairs & he shows me some video clips on the computer that his friend sent him. Weird hilarious japanese porn (people flying through the air attacking each other with sex, the sound effects were killing me), a cat laying on a bed that suddenly jumps up and flies into a wall, Animaniacs sound clips, etc. We're both ravenous at this point & so he is talking about going to get some propane for the grill. I stop that line of thinking by giving him head.
& then we screwed on the floor of the basement.
Then it was time to go, he had to be somewhere in an hour, but we were still hungry. So we drive to a restraunt to get burgers. He pays. & then I go home...
We talked later... we're not going to continue this behavior cos we have too much going on at the moment to get back together, and having constant sex would compramise that. But if either of us get too hard up we know where we can go.
Damnit, I need to get rid of my waterbed when I move to my new apt.
If your frightened of dyin' and then you hold on, you see that the devil is tearin' your life away. But, if you made your peace, then the devils are really angles that freed you from the earth.
quote:Originally posted by lo-key: Damnit, I need to get rid of my waterbed when I move to my new apt.
=( Sell it to me.
I loved you Slim, we could have been together, think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you DREAM about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't BREATHE without me
quote:Originally posted by Postmodgirl: the rest is not your buisness!
This is my favorite part. hehehehehe.
I'm a bit torn on the whole having sex with an ex thing. I mean, I am all for casual sex, but you can't really do that with a person you have already been in a relationship with and had strong feelings for. It's one thing to fuck some guy you met at a bar, it's another to make love to a guy you had been with for months and then decided to move on.
I tend to agree with Paint here. With an ex, there are often many unresolved feelings and issues--which is probably why this person is an ex in the first place.
However, the more I think this through the more rational sounding fucking an ex becomes. I suppose the ultimate maxim here is that the two people involved need to know that there are no strings attached. This seems tough to do. But rather than some innocuous person you pick up in a bar, an ex strikes me as quite a bit safer. You and the ex know each other, can talk openly about birth control/std control, and there's no awkward, "I'll call you" to deal with.
Interesting conundrum here....
"Wisdom comes with winters."--Oscar Wilde
quote:Originally posted by Paint CHiPs: I mean, I am all for casual sex, but you can't really do that with a person you have already been in a relationship with and had strong feelings for.
who said anything about casual? I think it's more like 'comfort' sex. I've had comfort sex before with an ex. it was sort of nice. there was a mutual need for intimacy, but also a mutual desire to avoid the whole 'go to the bar and pick up someone to have casual sex with' routine that almost always ends in some horrible fashion.
the only catch to shacking up with an ex is the residual feelings that may get stirred up. once in love, always in love .. or something like that anyway.