i was talking with a very close friend, and during our delightful conversation she sparked a fond memory that i'd like to share. Also, i'm curious of how u asked, or were asked to marry someone else. was it special, nice, funny, a threat...hehe Ok some of u seen my posts, I normally post silly, funny things, nothing that i personally attach myself to, but my goal in life is to have the most humor points/post ratio on the Asylum but i do believe that laughter is the key to being happy. Ok, here i go, spilling my guts.
Warning: The Following may consist of mushy mushy teenager love kinda stuff:
It was in the summer of '96. After i graduated, i only had 2 days of summer before i started my job as a mapper/drafter for a county appraisal district. Laresa, my girlfriend, was excited and frighten to see me go to college, which was scheduled for June 20th in Arizona. So we treasured each day that we could spend with each other before i left. So one day at work, i decided that i was going to ask Laresa to marry me, so when i left, she would be engaged to me, making our relationship that much more meaningful. While Laresa was working one day, I decided to talk with her mother, Lesa about marrying her daughter. Lesa was excited and happy to hear that i wasn't the typical guy to take advantage of her daughter's heart. But she said that i would also need the approval of her father. Ok, now I'm worried. about the rejection, the denial, since her father and i didn't talk much. I asked Lesa how she'd think laresa's dad would take it about me asking him. Lesa said, don't worry, if he had a problem with u, u would have been gone a long time ago.....good point. But I asked Lesa if she wouldn't tell Laresa that we had this conversation. Lesa asked me why, i told her that i want to surprise Laresa. And she agreed to it. Once Laresa's father came home, i decided to ask. I grabbed all the courage that i could come up with, even searching my pockets I asked him, "could i marry ur daughter?" he replied "yes, you could." AND THAT WAS IT. all the stress, worrying, denial, gone. just like that. During my lunch break at work, i drove to walmart and bought Laresa a $300 diamond engagement ring. I know, but i was saving as much money for the trip to arizona as i can. But i caught myself in a rut. I needed her finger measurement. argggg. If u haven't guess it yet, i'm still trying to surprise Laresa. So now i'm wondering how i could get Laresa's finger measurement w/o her having the slightest clue. So i asked her mother and she didn't know. So while thinking of all the possible ways of getting that information, Laresa finally came home from work. And we continued our daily routine. Then it hit me. I asked laresa if she wanted to go with me to another walmart and get her a promise ring. She was happy to go. after spending some time looking, she finally found one that she liked. So i forked out another $100 and before i knew it, the lady at the jewelry department had her ring finger size. WOOHOO. gotcha rowr! So the next day at work, i drove to the other walmart where i purchased her ring to take them the measurement. After a week, i finally had the engagement ring, and laresa finally received her promise ring. Now it's time to improvise a plan of how to propose to Laresa. While Laresa was at work, it finally came to me. And i let Lesa in on it.
hehe i'm just mean >=)
[This message has been edited by VenoM (edited 05-26-2001).]
I couldn't wait....i was like a kid on christmas eve. Laresa finally got home and joined me on the couch. We started to talk. and then i asked "hey, lets play a joke on ur mother" She asked me how, and i told her, well, hehe how bout tell ur mother that we're going to go get groceries. Then while we're out, we'll go to my place, grabbed a videocamera and act like i propose to u, and then we'll elope on camera. Then we'll leave it for ur mother's bed before she comes home the next day from work, giving her a heartattack. OMG, Laresa loved it. she was rolling. After Laresa finally calmed down and stopped laughing, she decided to go clean up and take a shower, since she works at a vet, she reeks of dogs/cats. While she was in the shower, i let her mother on the plans. Her mother was enjoying this. Needless to say, so was I
So finally, we're off. Telling her mother we're off to go grocery shopping and will be back later. On the road, i couldn't keep laresa from laughing, heheh I told her that she'll have to keep cool. Laresa was curious of how we're going to actually pull this off and convince her mother that we eloped. I told her that this is what we could do. Once we're at my place, I would setup the camera to start filming us (get ur head out of my gutter, cause i'm not going to go there) on the couch talking. Then i would get up to check something in my room. Once gone, she would start talking to the camera, about how she feels, if i decided to ask her to marry me that she would. I will pull out a ringcase and propose to her, and then act like we're gonna run off to elope cutting the camera off and leaving it with her mother. Laresa agreed and was very excited to pull this off.
Finally, we're both on the couch at my place. I asked her if i could use her promise ring to spice up the realism, she nodded and placed it into the ringcase. Then i placed the ringcase into my right pocket, she was unaware that the engagement ring was in my left pocket. After going over "the script" with her she was ready. I turned on the camera and started to film us talking. We talked about how much we loved each other, college, etc. But then, she placed her hand on my left leg, basically right on the engagement ring. The video clearly shows me going errr =x *looking down*, then suddenly I said, "i need to check something, be right back." Once i was away, Laresa started her acting....she played it pretty well. And i? i was in my room swapping out the rings *tee hee* Then i walked back and joined my future fiancè and continued our conversation. Then it was time. I told her how much i love her, and couldn't live without her. then i pulled out the ringcase from my pocket. heheh i remember the smerk laresa had on her face, thinking we're going to completely own her mother. Then i busted out the words. "Laresa, we've been thru alot, and soon i'm going to be gone to college." "Laresa, will you... *then opened the ringcase* ...marry me?" Her jaw hit the floor once she realize that it wasn't her promise ring and that i was really proposing to her. She started to cry. I told her that her mother was in on this joke and new everything & i did get the approval from her father. Then i asked her again "Laresa, will u marry me?" After she slapped my leg, she told me yes. Then we took the videotape to her family reunion and everyone love it
I think I chipped a tooth banging my head on the keyboard.
OK, I have one bit of advice for you.
Wait, I will have thousands of bits of advice for you (because I am just full of it, ask Big Al)but here is the first one.
It is not necessary to waste your time listening to your spouse when she is running off at the mouth.
It IS necessary to stare at her while she is doing this with a slackjawed expression and occasionally nodding.
The stupider you look,the less shit they will give you as time goes by.
OK,wait here is another.
Try to be helpful with household chores.
Do the laundry.
Buy a cheap red shirt and toss it in with her whites, set water temp on hot. This will save you the trouble of ever having to do laundry again. (remember the stupid look and the nodding when she is raging at you for how the wash came out). You will have at least made the effort.
Paint didn't listen to me on this one and spends about 20 hours a week vacuuming.
Take the vacuum and put a small slice in the vacuum bag. Proceed to vacuum when she is out of the room. Do not stop until you have finished the entire livingroom even though it has completely filled with dust and you cannot see or breath. Go tell her the carpet looks great and and she should come see it, have a proud look on your face when you tell her (remember the stupid look when she walks in the livingroom).
This will save you the trouble of ever having to vacuum again.
Do the dishes.
All the dirty dishes should be rinsed thoroughly before being put in the dishwasher. Get the box of Tide from the laundry room. Use according to directions on box, about 2 cups should do (whatever doesn't fit in the little soap holder can be poured on the dishes). Turn on dishwasher and tell here that you have cleaned up the kitchen. Give her a hug and immediately leave the house for at least four to six hours. This will give her enough time to not only have gotten help and removed the 1,499 cubic feet of foam from the house but will have hopefully calmed down enough to where you shouldn't be seriously maimed by her. Remember the stupid look and also keep in mind that if she does in fact pummel you, she really does love you and you can brag about the scars at the bar. This should save you the trouble of ever having to do the dishes again.
Other women, babes in particular.
When you are with your sweetpea and some knockout is around, point her out and say this, "Look, I think you just pissed her off. She thought she was hot shit til she saw you, just look at her, she is not happy."
Now for one, you have just complimented your lady and reaffirmed just how attractive you think she is which gets you major booty points.
Two, since you have invited her to look at this other woman, this means you get to look too.
The trick here is to look with a smirk on your face so your lady thinks you are only looking at her to see her reaction to the babe you are with. Shake your head and say, "heh" a few times too, then you can look longer.
Never comment on whether she has fake tits or not because your lady will realize just how hard you are looking and you lose booty points. If your lady brings it up, hesitate before answering like you haven't noticed her sweater meat yet and needed to look to confirm her suspicions.
With in 3 minutes of all this, point out some fat chick and make fun of her clothes. Too much time spent on the babe will also lose you booty points.
quote:Originally posted by geaeslore: wonder,
nice advice, does it really work, or is it just funny?
I am only allowed in the kitchen under close supervision.
I still have a few pair of pink crew socks (I forgot to add that you should throw some of your whites in the load so it doesn't look like a set up).
The day before yesterday, I offered to take over vacuuming and just got "the look". She did have me take out the garbage and run the van through the carwash since I offered to help.
Taking out the garbage is one thing that you SHOULD do. It is so difficult to screw up that any attempts to do so will probably fail and she could wind up leaving you because it makes you look like you are a bit too far down on the food chain to be associated with much less risk the chance of spawning with.
With slight modifications to suite your particular circumstances, these tidbits are priceless.
At some point, women do catch on but with care it will be far enough into your relationship to where it won't matter.
Either she will have a good sense of humor and appreciate your cleverness or she will already be disgusted with you and just figure it to be par for the course.
Ahhh There's more proof...
Big Al just took off for the store and said, "If you are hungry, wait until I come back, I am getting food. I just cleaned the kitchen so don't destroy it, you can wait 20 minutes, OK?"
I told her I would not move from this chair.
I found 2 Ice cream sandwiches hidden in the freezer so I didn't wait but she won't know.
my husband wrote me a poem and read it to me on valentines day.
the last line of the poem was the marriage proposal.
seeing as we had a baby who was a year old, had been living together for three years, i suppose it was time to go ahead and make it legal.
so we did.
then you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
thats what its all ABOUT!