The Asylum   Search Private Messages Options Blogs Images Chat Cam Portals Calendar FAQ's Join  
Asylum Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.8 Asylum Forums > The Lost Forum > The Art of Proposal
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread [new thread]    [post reply]
VenoM
Inkygate survivor 2k1

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Post The Art of Proposal

i was talking with a very close friend, and during our delightful conversation she sparked a fond memory that i'd like to share. Also, i'm curious of how u asked, or were asked to marry someone else. was it special, nice, funny, a threat...hehe Ok some of u seen my posts, I normally post silly, funny things, nothing that i personally attach myself to, but my goal in life is to have the most humor points/post ratio on the Asylum but i do believe that laughter is the key to being happy. Ok, here i go, spilling my guts.

Warning: The Following may consist of mushy mushy teenager love kinda stuff:

It was in the summer of '96. After i graduated, i only had 2 days of summer before i started my job as a mapper/drafter for a county appraisal district. Laresa, my girlfriend, was excited and frighten to see me go to college, which was scheduled for June 20th in Arizona. So we treasured each day that we could spend with each other before i left. So one day at work, i decided that i was going to ask Laresa to marry me, so when i left, she would be engaged to me, making our relationship that much more meaningful. While Laresa was working one day, I decided to talk with her mother, Lesa about marrying her daughter. Lesa was excited and happy to hear that i wasn't the typical guy to take advantage of her daughter's heart. But she said that i would also need the approval of her father. Ok, now I'm worried. about the rejection, the denial, since her father and i didn't talk much. I asked Lesa how she'd think laresa's dad would take it about me asking him. Lesa said, don't worry, if he had a problem with u, u would have been gone a long time ago.....good point. But I asked Lesa if she wouldn't tell Laresa that we had this conversation. Lesa asked me why, i told her that i want to surprise Laresa. And she agreed to it. Once Laresa's father came home, i decided to ask. I grabbed all the courage that i could come up with, even searching my pockets I asked him, "could i marry ur daughter?" he replied "yes, you could." AND THAT WAS IT. all the stress, worrying, denial, gone. just like that. During my lunch break at work, i drove to walmart and bought Laresa a $300 diamond engagement ring. I know, but i was saving as much money for the trip to arizona as i can. But i caught myself in a rut. I needed her finger measurement. argggg. If u haven't guess it yet, i'm still trying to surprise Laresa. So now i'm wondering how i could get Laresa's finger measurement w/o her having the slightest clue. So i asked her mother and she didn't know. So while thinking of all the possible ways of getting that information, Laresa finally came home from work. And we continued our daily routine. Then it hit me. I asked laresa if she wanted to go with me to another walmart and get her a promise ring. She was happy to go. after spending some time looking, she finally found one that she liked. So i forked out another $100 and before i knew it, the lady at the jewelry department had her ring finger size. WOOHOO. gotcha rowr! So the next day at work, i drove to the other walmart where i purchased her ring to take them the measurement. After a week, i finally had the engagement ring, and laresa finally received her promise ring. Now it's time to improvise a plan of how to propose to Laresa. While Laresa was at work, it finally came to me. And i let Lesa in on it.

hehe i'm just mean >=)

------------------


[This message has been edited by VenoM (edited 05-26-2001).]

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 03:42 PM
VenoM is offline Click Here to See the Profile for VenoM Click here to Send VenoM a Private Message Find more posts by VenoM Add VenoM to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
VenoM
Inkygate survivor 2k1

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Post

I couldn't wait....i was like a kid on christmas eve. Laresa finally got home and joined me on the couch. We started to talk. and then i asked "hey, lets play a joke on ur mother" She asked me how, and i told her, well, hehe how bout tell ur mother that we're going to go get groceries. Then while we're out, we'll go to my place, grabbed a videocamera and act like i propose to u, and then we'll elope on camera. Then we'll leave it for ur mother's bed before she comes home the next day from work, giving her a heartattack. OMG, Laresa loved it. she was rolling. After Laresa finally calmed down and stopped laughing, she decided to go clean up and take a shower, since she works at a vet, she reeks of dogs/cats. While she was in the shower, i let her mother on the plans. Her mother was enjoying this. Needless to say, so was I

So finally, we're off. Telling her mother we're off to go grocery shopping and will be back later. On the road, i couldn't keep laresa from laughing, heheh I told her that she'll have to keep cool. Laresa was curious of how we're going to actually pull this off and convince her mother that we eloped. I told her that this is what we could do. Once we're at my place, I would setup the camera to start filming us (get ur head out of my gutter, cause i'm not going to go there) on the couch talking. Then i would get up to check something in my room. Once gone, she would start talking to the camera, about how she feels, if i decided to ask her to marry me that she would. I will pull out a ringcase and propose to her, and then act like we're gonna run off to elope cutting the camera off and leaving it with her mother. Laresa agreed and was very excited to pull this off.

Finally, we're both on the couch at my place. I asked her if i could use her promise ring to spice up the realism, she nodded and placed it into the ringcase. Then i placed the ringcase into my right pocket, she was unaware that the engagement ring was in my left pocket. After going over "the script" with her she was ready. I turned on the camera and started to film us talking. We talked about how much we loved each other, college, etc. But then, she placed her hand on my left leg, basically right on the engagement ring. The video clearly shows me going errr =x *looking down*, then suddenly I said, "i need to check something, be right back." Once i was away, Laresa started her acting....she played it pretty well. And i? i was in my room swapping out the rings *tee hee* Then i walked back and joined my future fianc and continued our conversation. Then it was time. I told her how much i love her, and couldn't live without her. then i pulled out the ringcase from my pocket. heheh i remember the smerk laresa had on her face, thinking we're going to completely own her mother. Then i busted out the words. "Laresa, we've been thru alot, and soon i'm going to be gone to college." "Laresa, will you... *then opened the ringcase* ...marry me?" Her jaw hit the floor once she realize that it wasn't her promise ring and that i was really proposing to her. She started to cry. I told her that her mother was in on this joke and new everything & i did get the approval from her father. Then i asked her again "Laresa, will u marry me?" After she slapped my leg, she told me yes. Then we took the videotape to her family reunion and everyone love it

------------------------

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 03:42 PM
VenoM is offline Click Here to See the Profile for VenoM Click here to Send VenoM a Private Message Find more posts by VenoM Add VenoM to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
RogueWarrior
Cuddly Puppy

Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Gehenna
Posts: 1018
Post

/me squalls like a little bitch

Anybody says a word, I'll fucking kill you

------------------------
We are the damned of all the world

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 03:56 PM
RogueWarrior is offline Click Here to See the Profile for RogueWarrior Click here to Send RogueWarrior a Private Message Find more posts by RogueWarrior Add RogueWarrior to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
ny4r147h073p

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: southern island
Posts: 526
Angry

You people make me sick!! Tring to make me cry or something ??

------------------------

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 04:06 PM
ny4r147h073p is offline Click Here to See the Profile for ny4r147h073p Click here to Send ny4r147h073p a Private Message Find more posts by ny4r147h073p Add ny4r147h073p to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
melon
Fishleader

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: salmon city
Posts: 1412
Post


being a mapper/drafter for a county appraisal district must be nice.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 04:32 PM
melon is offline Click Here to See the Profile for melon Click here to Send melon a Private Message Visit melon's homepage! Find more posts by melon Add melon to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
VenoM
Inkygate survivor 2k1

Registered: Feb 2001
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Post

quote:
Originally posted by melon:

being a mapper/drafter for a county appraisal district must be nice.



it was fun, but i prefer my job now to any other. I'm a NOC (Network Operation Center) Tech for an isp. megabandwidth.

------------------------

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 04:49 PM
VenoM is offline Click Here to See the Profile for VenoM Click here to Send VenoM a Private Message Find more posts by VenoM Add VenoM to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
A.D.H.D

Registered: Jan 2001
Location: Van Diemen's Land.
Posts: 3607
Post

Good work.

There are about 10 places your plan could have come unstuck. You were lucky.

------------------------

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 04:58 PM
A.D.H.D is offline Click Here to See the Profile for A.D.H.D Click here to Send A.D.H.D a Private Message Find more posts by A.D.H.D Add A.D.H.D to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
memdink
spasm of violence

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: ral3igh
Posts: 5307
Post

you are a []D[][]v[][]D

------------------------
Mechanically Seperated Chicken

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 05:11 PM
memdink is offline Click Here to See the Profile for memdink Click here to Send memdink a Private Message Find more posts by memdink Add memdink to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona... No no Cornville!!
Posts: 21761
Post

I think I chipped a tooth banging my head on the keyboard.

OK, I have one bit of advice for you.

Wait, I will have thousands of bits of advice for you (because I am just full of it, ask Big Al)but here is the first one.

It is not necessary to waste your time listening to your spouse when she is running off at the mouth.
It IS necessary to stare at her while she is doing this with a slackjawed expression and occasionally nodding.
The stupider you look,the less shit they will give you as time goes by.

OK,wait here is another.

Try to be helpful with household chores.

Do the laundry.
Buy a cheap red shirt and toss it in with her whites, set water temp on hot. This will save you the trouble of ever having to do laundry again. (remember the stupid look and the nodding when she is raging at you for how the wash came out). You will have at least made the effort.

Vacuum.
Paint didn't listen to me on this one and spends about 20 hours a week vacuuming.
Take the vacuum and put a small slice in the vacuum bag. Proceed to vacuum when she is out of the room. Do not stop until you have finished the entire livingroom even though it has completely filled with dust and you cannot see or breath. Go tell her the carpet looks great and and she should come see it, have a proud look on your face when you tell her (remember the stupid look when she walks in the livingroom).
This will save you the trouble of ever having to vacuum again.

Do the dishes.
All the dirty dishes should be rinsed thoroughly before being put in the dishwasher. Get the box of Tide from the laundry room. Use according to directions on box, about 2 cups should do (whatever doesn't fit in the little soap holder can be poured on the dishes). Turn on dishwasher and tell here that you have cleaned up the kitchen. Give her a hug and immediately leave the house for at least four to six hours. This will give her enough time to not only have gotten help and removed the 1,499 cubic feet of foam from the house but will have hopefully calmed down enough to where you shouldn't be seriously maimed by her. Remember the stupid look and also keep in mind that if she does in fact pummel you, she really does love you and you can brag about the scars at the bar. This should save you the trouble of ever having to do the dishes again.

I will give you some cooking lessons next time.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 09:53 PM
wonderaz is offline Click Here to See the Profile for wonderaz Click here to Send wonderaz a Private Message Visit wonderaz's homepage! Find more posts by wonderaz Add wonderaz to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Roshigoth
The Cheesemeister

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 18000

Wonder is my new hero.


------------------------
And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me. --Bjork
Graphic Cheeseworks

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-26-2001 09:56 PM
Roshigoth is offline Click Here to See the Profile for Roshigoth Click here to Send Roshigoth a Private Message Find more posts by Roshigoth Add Roshigoth to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona... No no Cornville!!
Posts: 21761
Post

OK, another tip.

Other women, babes in particular.
When you are with your sweetpea and some knockout is around, point her out and say this, "Look, I think you just pissed her off. She thought she was hot shit til she saw you, just look at her, she is not happy."
Now for one, you have just complimented your lady and reaffirmed just how attractive you think she is which gets you major booty points.
Two, since you have invited her to look at this other woman, this means you get to look too.
The trick here is to look with a smirk on your face so your lady thinks you are only looking at her to see her reaction to the babe you are with. Shake your head and say, "heh" a few times too, then you can look longer.
Never comment on whether she has fake tits or not because your lady will realize just how hard you are looking and you lose booty points. If your lady brings it up, hesitate before answering like you haven't noticed her sweater meat yet and needed to look to confirm her suspicions.
With in 3 minutes of all this, point out some fat chick and make fun of her clothes. Too much time spent on the babe will also lose you booty points.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 04:27 AM
wonderaz is offline Click Here to See the Profile for wonderaz Click here to Send wonderaz a Private Message Visit wonderaz's homepage! Find more posts by wonderaz Add wonderaz to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
geaeslore
fallen mathlete

Registered: Mar 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2451
Post

That was a cool story. Bonus points for creativity.

wonder,
nice advice, does it really work, or is it just funny?

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 05:49 AM
geaeslore is offline Click Here to See the Profile for geaeslore Click here to Send geaeslore a Private Message Find more posts by geaeslore Add geaeslore to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
wonderaz
Sarky Bastard

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Sedona, Arizona... No no Cornville!!
Posts: 21761
Post

quote:
Originally posted by geaeslore:
wonder,
nice advice, does it really work, or is it just funny?



I am only allowed in the kitchen under close supervision.
I still have a few pair of pink crew socks (I forgot to add that you should throw some of your whites in the load so it doesn't look like a set up).
The day before yesterday, I offered to take over vacuuming and just got "the look". She did have me take out the garbage and run the van through the carwash since I offered to help.
Taking out the garbage is one thing that you SHOULD do. It is so difficult to screw up that any attempts to do so will probably fail and she could wind up leaving you because it makes you look like you are a bit too far down on the food chain to be associated with much less risk the chance of spawning with.

With slight modifications to suite your particular circumstances, these tidbits are priceless.
At some point, women do catch on but with care it will be far enough into your relationship to where it won't matter.
Either she will have a good sense of humor and appreciate your cleverness or she will already be disgusted with you and just figure it to be par for the course.

Ahhh There's more proof...
Big Al just took off for the store and said, "If you are hungry, wait until I come back, I am getting food. I just cleaned the kitchen so don't destroy it, you can wait 20 minutes, OK?"
I told her I would not move from this chair.
I found 2 Ice cream sandwiches hidden in the freezer so I didn't wait but she won't know.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 07:08 PM
wonderaz is offline Click Here to See the Profile for wonderaz Click here to Send wonderaz a Private Message Visit wonderaz's homepage! Find more posts by wonderaz Add wonderaz to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Fiend
Medically crazy

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Bangor, ME
Posts: 10608
Post

*takes out his memo book and scribbles down advice*

thank you wonder, that was priceless

------------------------
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
-Ernest Hemingway

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 07:13 PM
Fiend is offline Click Here to See the Profile for Fiend Click here to Send Fiend a Private Message Find more posts by Fiend Add Fiend to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34914
Post


JEB's guide to a long marriage:

Whenever your spouse says something to you, your reply should be "Yes, dear!", then shut the fuck up.

The only exception to this is if your spouse should ask something such as, "Honey, do you think I'm getting fat?" In that event, your reply should be, "No, dear!", then shut the fuck up.

Lasty, if you don't know whether to say "Yes, dear", or "No, dear", then always just shut the fuck up.

Amen.

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 07:16 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
Princess_Chelle
no thank you

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: GA
Posts: 6987
Post

my husband wrote me a poem and read it to me on valentines day.
the last line of the poem was the marriage proposal.
seeing as we had a baby who was a year old, had been living together for three years, i suppose it was time to go ahead and make it legal.
so we did.

------------------------
then you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around...
thats what its all ABOUT!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2001 07:19 PM
Princess_Chelle is offline Click Here to See the Profile for Princess_Chelle Click here to Send Princess_Chelle a Private Message Find more posts by Princess_Chelle Add Princess_Chelle to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
All times are GMT. The time now is 10:52 PM. Post New Thread    Post A Reply
  Last Thread   Next Thread
Show Printable Version | Email this Page | Subscribe to this Thread

Forum Jump:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
 

< Contact Us - The Asylum >

Copyright © 2014- Imaginet Inc.
[Legal Notice] | [Privacy Policy] | [Site Index]