A young man walked into a house of ill repute on a fine day. He was a little
short of cash, so he asked for the cheapest whore they could offer. The pimp
replied, "Ok, for $20 you can have a shot at Jane here, a little old but
that's all you'll ever get for $20"
He would give everything he owned for Jane but unfortunatately all he owned
was $2, so he went on bargaining. The pimp submitted saying "ok ok, with
your $2 you can have Mona here"
The man then took Mona to the room and started to pump her. "No wonder she's
only $2, she feels like sandpaper inside". After a few forceful strokes, the
man was all sore and stopped.
"Can't you do anything about it?"he asked.
"Yup I guess I could ",she replied,"just wait a while."
He waited as she got up and left the room. After a few minutes, she returned
smiling, "OK, try me now."
So he entered her again, this time she was unbelievably smooth, and he went
on to have the best orgasm $2 could ever offer, so he asked, "What's it you
did that made you so wet and smooth... lubricants?"
"Nope.", she answered, "I just peeled off the scabs and let the pus run."
It might be hard with out the visuals so use your imagination
There was a man in the desert. He needed to get across the desert quickly. He goes to the camel rental place and tells the guy he needs a camel badly. The camel salesman says, "we are out of camels at the moment, all we have in one and trust me, its a bastard of a camel and you dont want it. We will be getting a camel return in two days if you want to wait."
The man says, No, this is an emergency, I need one now. Ill take what you have" The camel rental guy says, "Ok, but Im telling you this camel is a bastard and he has special care instructions.
Follow me, Ill tell you what you have to do, then you can decide if you still want it."
So the salesman takes the man to the stable and shows him the camel. The camel looks strong and healthy and the man feels optimistic. The salesman says, "Ok, this is the only camel we have and every 50 miles he will stop and you have to jack him off (give it a hand job) or it wont budge."
The man says" What! youre kidding" The salesman, replies, No, I told you he was a bastard and youll be better off waiting for a return." The man says "Fuck it, Ill take it."
Pays the salesman, gathers his supplies, and sets off on his journey.
Everything is going smoothly until about 50 miles in the camel stops. The man gets off and tries to give it some water and food; the camel shakes his head "no" to all his efforts. Confused the man remembers the instruction, goes in front of the camel and motions a hand job, to which the camel nods "yes". Disgusted the man goes to the rear of the camel, spits on his hand and jacks the camel off. He gets back on the camel and sets off again. Another 50 miles the camel stops. Efforts to give it water and food fail again. The man walks to the front of the camel, and angrily gives the hand job motion to the camel, which the camel nods in approval to. Again, he goes to the back of the camel, spits on his hand and jacks it off. This goes on every 50 miles until they are smack in middle of the desert. The man gets off the camel, curses and kicks the sand. Real sarcastically goes to the camels face and contempt fully makes the hand job motion with his fist to which the camel shakes his head no to, lifts his front hoof and makes a blow job motion to his mouth.