if i was going to do a third installment of the Terminator series, involving chick cyborgs and poo, and i couldn't get any of the original actors, i think i could still throw together something that would be a guaranteed money-maker, and not just because it gets bundled in with the "Terminator Ultimate Pak DVD Box Set."
First off, i'd have Fred Ward as Lyle Swan on a dirt bike, busting through a wormhole into the burning remnants of the building that blew up at the end of T2. Bam, another pyro shot, and then a shot of the mangled terminator arm getting caught in his motorbike's spokes just before the wormhole sucks him back into the old west, where he is his own grandfather.
Lyle Swan takes the arm-parts to the town's doctor, Dr. Brown, a wild-haired tinkerer of sorts (Christopher Lloyd) married to ted danson's wife. The good doctor freaks out and mutters some shit about Ice Pirates or something, and wrinkles in the fabric of space-time. Then Swan produces a polaroid, the polaroid, of Sarah Connor, which somehow ended up lodged in his chest protector. Dr. Brown goes apeshit when he notices that Connor's pic is fading from the polaroid. With the help of ZZ Top, Doc Brown rigs up a steam powered tilt-a-whirl that can hit 88 miles per. The celebratory mood goes to hell when a rain of solid ice cubes precipitates the arrival from the skies of a glowing, flying, 1963 Chevy Malibu, sent by john connor's resistance troops. The driver is none other than an aging Burt Ward as Jeremy Sword, a man who loved the wrong robot too much.
Enter the robot. SkyNet propels a newly nipped and tucked Kim Fields (tv's "Tootie") into an abandoned mine shaft on the edge of town.
I know nothing about the script, but the terminators arm was ripped off in the gearing of the foundry. They melted him and the extra arm from the first terminator, but not the arm stuck in the gears. therefore some newfangled terminator will have to come back again and destroy that one before the other new terminator destroys eddie furlong (or maybe they could both be destroyed). That's how I always thought they'd set it up, even though it'd be like T2.
(oh, Hal Needham should direct and the Terminator should be a car driven by Burt Reynolds)