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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34140

Seeking backers for her own niche firm specializing in gloveless, deep body cavity obstruction removal for resthome residents, Jinxy addressed a few nursing home directors at a local Waffle House meet ‘n’ bruncheon:

Chronic bowel blockage is an ongoing problem for our aged population, exacerbated by the already prohibitive medical treatment fees which continue to soar. Foregoing pricey gloves to spelunk and dunk for junk and gunk in the trunk saves a hunk and chunk o’ time and money!

Her presentation was abruptly cut short when she was forcibly removed from the premises after attempting to demonstrate her technique on an unknown elderly man with a guide dog, who just happened to be at the counter, trying to enjoy his bowl of grits.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-08-2019 08:23 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Tried ice skating on the local pond...IN JULY!

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Old Post 03-09-2019 04:56 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34140

Inspired by the success of Dr. Pimple Popper, he unsuccessfully sought backers for yet another reality show. Called Dr. People Pooper, it would showcase actual big bag enemas and deep dive impaction extractions.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-11-2019 06:10 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Is listed as #1 in "Forbes' Creepiest."

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Old Post 03-11-2019 06:15 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34140

inspired by the successful, but crowded, Elvis impersonator industry, is hoping his fresh, new gambit on celebrity impersonation will be a hit. Herkimer hopes to bring his unique stylings of “Weird Al Yankodic” to the Borscht Belt, soon.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-11-2019 03:54 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Heckles his pastor during the sermon.

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Old Post 03-11-2019 03:59 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
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His pastor heckles him during the sermon.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-11-2019 07:58 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Was crowned Homecoming Queen in high school.

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Old Post 03-13-2019 02:40 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34140

Last Thursday, he got online and joined an upstate nudist club. Friday, he drove up for some eagerly anticipated nude recreation. Upon arrival, management took one look and offered him a full refund to leave unless he agreed to don a burka and keep it on at all times while on the premises.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-13-2019 04:00 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Uses shaving cream as a jello topping.

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Old Post 03-13-2019 05:57 AM
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J E B Stuart
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His iPhone abruptly powers off whenever he tries to take a selfie.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-14-2019 03:53 AM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
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Posts: 15147

The blue pill just makes his navel lint fall out.

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Old Post 03-14-2019 07:48 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Must frequently brush his hair to remove the naval lint that accumulates on top of his head.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-14-2019 08:02 PM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 15147

Must frequently brush his teeth to remove the seamen that accumulate at his gum line.

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Old Post 03-14-2019 08:37 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
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One day as he was brushing another huge wad of naval hair from his head, he got to thinking about goats. Mohair, in particular. All of a sudden, he shot up from his chair, pumped his fist in the air and cried, “By Jove, I’ve got it!” Since then, has been busily working the tenderloin district 24/7, accumulating bales of pubic hair to be woven into a fabric he hopes to market as “Hohair”.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 03-15-2019 at 04:15 PM

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Old Post 03-15-2019 04:03 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Keeps his pet fly on a leash.

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Old Post 03-16-2019 04:11 AM
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J E B Stuart
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His butt is a housefly snack bar and rookery.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-16-2019 04:37 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Has to actually pay people to be his friends.

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Old Post 03-16-2019 06:04 AM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 15147

Has an overbite AND an underbite.

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Old Post 03-16-2019 07:12 PM
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Oracular_Jinx
Old hag

Registered: Oct 2001
Location: In a place that is mostly too hot or too cold.
Posts: 3189

Is evolutionarily challenged.

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Ni! Ni!

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Old Post 03-17-2019 11:59 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

At the local whorehouse she's on speed dial.

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Old Post 03-17-2019 03:21 PM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 15147

...is automatic for the people...

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Old Post 03-17-2019 07:13 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 18098

Keeps sending love letters to Siri.

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Old Post 03-17-2019 11:24 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 34140

Calling himself the LJW (love justice warrior), sends regular love letters to skalie because “skalie needs love, too, so somebody’s gotta do it!”

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-18-2019 05:28 PM
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fubar
mud falcon

Registered: Apr 2005
Location:
Posts: 15147

puts Compound W on his brothel sprouts

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