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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
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I hope to be late for my funeral.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-14-2018 12:32 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I'm so insignificant my hearse will follow the cars.

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Old Post 04-15-2018 11:34 AM
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J E B Stuart
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At least you’ll HAVE a hearse. I’m so insignificant, I expect I’ll have to hitchhike to my funeral.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-15-2018 08:39 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Fuck that! Call me and I'll come and drive you over.

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Old Post 04-16-2018 03:37 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Thanks, but that jackass wonderaz will be a zombie by then and he’ll still be following me around, looking for sumpin’ to steal.

Heh, that jackass zombieaz is gonna be super pissed when he discovers I already ditched my gold fillings.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-16-2018 09:23 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Make sure to floss.

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Old Post 04-17-2018 04:31 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Don’t hafta. Dickel is also one of the most high-powered disinfectants known to man, er man and woman. Wait. All humans? No. Not inclusive enough. All primates. Okay, to hell with it. All primates, jackasses named wonderaz and The Loretta.

I gotta say...it’s damned silly to include The Loretta in the above statement. You’ve heard of so-called superbugs, I’m sure. Well, The Loretta makes a superbug look like a Tic-Tac. She is a superbeast and is completely immune to any and all disinfectants, etc., known to...known to...uhhh...you know, dammit!

Jeebus.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-20-2018 08:18 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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The Loretta needs to be taken out to the middle of the Atlantic and have chains wrapped around her neck with an anchor and dropped into the ocean. She's obviously a threat to all of humanity.

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Old Post 04-21-2018 04:24 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Great. We’ve already got the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. What you propose is essentially the creation of a Great Atlantic Loretta Patch.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-21-2018 06:01 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Posts: 15803

On second thought forget it. She would flood the entire east coast!

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Old Post 04-23-2018 02:13 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Then your choice is clear, Herk. Marry Dorothy and move to Kansas. Make little munchkins.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-24-2018 02:02 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

For just a second, imagine little GoFuckYourselves!' munchkins!

(Would someone please pick Jeb off the floor?)

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Old Post 05-15-2018 03:15 AM
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J E B Stuart
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I can see it. Little Herkimer diaper-loaders.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-15-2018 11:12 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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Posts: 15803

Since they're munchkins, it wouldn't amount to much.

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Old Post 05-16-2018 12:15 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Posts: 31608

Big poop comes in small packages. Don’t forget that.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-17-2018 06:38 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I keep forgetting!

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Old Post 05-17-2018 02:39 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Forgetting what?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-18-2018 05:08 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

You forgot it too? That's very forgetful of you.

Now, what was I saying?

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Old Post 05-19-2018 02:58 AM
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J E B Stuart
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That’s what you said.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-20-2018 05:21 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

And what was that? I forgot.

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Old Post 05-20-2018 05:29 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 31608

I can’t stand to be late. And to say I don’t enjoy waiting for someone who is late would be an understatement.

But I have also learned that wives are privy to their own exclusive time zones.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-20-2018 02:52 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15803

Oh, man, are we on the same page with this. I'm always on time. But I have a friend who is always late. So another friend of mine told me what to do and now I do it. I show up 20 minutes late. One time I was so damn mad that I drove off without him. 15 minutes later he called me asking where I was. I never responded. The next week I told him I had forgotten my phone. I don't like going late on purpose and his constant lateness really bothers me. I don't believe in keeping people waiting especially a friend. He told me he was always late for school too.

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Old Post 05-21-2018 01:02 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 31608

He’s been aware of it all this time, yet has done nothing to improve himself?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-22-2018 04:28 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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He has one excuse after another.

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Old Post 05-23-2018 10:51 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Posts: 31608

You must hold him in very high regard to keep puttin’ up with that nonsense.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 05-24-2018 04:56 AM
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