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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28553
Celebrate!!!

Yeehaw, er, oink! oink! Yes, it is my honor and privilege to announce that today, December 30th, is NATIONAL BACON DAY!

I enjoy snackin’ on bacon whilst sippin’ Dickel. Yum!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-29-2017 05:13 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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BTO!

Seriously, though, I believe the “L” should be eliminated from the BLT sammich. Instead, I prefer the BTO. It is the bacon, tomato and onion sammich, with mayo, or Miracle Whip. And, the onions are best when caramelized in bacon grease.

Lastly, TOAST the bread.

This is another JEB chow-tip, courtesy Asylumnation.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-30-2017 03:31 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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I knew someone who ate these foods. He became so gaseous that when he finally farted the force of air blast that came out of his ass blew him all the way to Denmark!!

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Old Post 12-30-2017 11:22 AM
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Coincidence
Counterfeit

Registered: Apr 2004
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Santa!

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You're in the wrnght place.

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Old Post 12-30-2017 04:29 PM
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J E B Stuart
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I shoulda put this bacon-mobile here, instead o' IOD:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 12-31-2017 04:13 AM
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Tefl
Reality Theorist

Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Down the rabbit hole
Posts: 8807

You should try a stinkbomb sammich.
It's a slab of braunschweiger on pumpernickel, with a slice of red bermuda onion and pickles, slathered in minced garlic, kraut, and horseradish, and topped with blue cheese.
It smells like a dumpster fire but it's awesome. Seriously, try it.

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Old Post 12-31-2017 01:40 PM
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SimpleSimon
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Registered: Dec 2002
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Indeed, that is a good sammich. Personally, I leave the pickle out of it, and put about half a teaspoon of finely minced fresh jalapeno instead.

Damn! I need to go to the supermarket.

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Old Post 12-31-2017 09:00 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Stinkbomb? Sounds Loretta to me.

I don’t need no steenking Loretta stinkbomb.

BTW, what kinda sauce goes on the sammich?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-01-2018 08:18 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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quote:
Originally posted by J E B Stuart
S
BTW, what kinda sauce goes on the sammich?



jism sauce, from the looks of it.

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Old Post 01-01-2018 04:47 PM
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SimpleSimon
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I prefer Thousand Island dressing when I make one, but Green Goddess is fairly good as well.

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Old Post 01-01-2018 05:14 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by SimpleSimon
I prefer Thousand Island dressing when I make one, but Green Goddess is fairly good as well.

The venerable Stinkbomb sounds a lot like a Reuben sammich on steroids.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-02-2018 02:25 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Dear God. I think that jackass wonderaz just dropped a stinkbomb in the hall.

Yep. The smoke alarms are goin’ crazy. Sprinklers are next. I’m barricadin’ the door and stuffin’ the vents. It’s horrible.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-05-2018 10:20 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Didn't you get the Anti-Stinkbomb Kit I sent you? It's the same one they use on Loretta! Oddly enough, it's manufactured in Denmark.

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Old Post 01-06-2018 12:16 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Thanks, Herk. I regret to report, however, that jackass wonderaz took it and pawned it.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-06-2018 12:32 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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That surprises me considering all the farting that goes on at the Home.

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Old Post 01-06-2018 10:41 AM
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J E B Stuart
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This was no wild fart beast release. Oh no. The jackass, shortly after consuming a heapin' plate o' the special recipe slid under his door, was apparently compelled to bless the hallway outside his door with an enormous "evacuation".

And I suspect he found some more peyote, 'shrooms, or sumpin', because he'd been happily enjoying the "special recipe" for some time without incident. When he goes on a "quest", however, he ain't right.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-07-2018 12:29 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Posts: 13075

The fact that he ain't right has nothing to do with what he smokes.

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