The Asylum   Search Private Messages Options Blogs Images Chat Cam Portals Calendar FAQ's Join  
Asylum Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.2.8 Asylum Forums > The Lost Forum > Chilli Cookoff
Pages (76): « First ... « 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 [76]   Last Thread   Next Thread
Author
Thread [new thread]    [post reply]
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

I should pay him for teaching me the true meaning of "a penny saved is a penny earned."

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-21-2018 06:27 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903

But, the grasshoppa blows every “free” cent he gets on Tengas, ointments, lotions, and salves.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-21-2018 06:50 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

What does he salve?

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-22-2018 12:23 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903

Call it salve, call it ointment - it’s all the same to grasshoppa.

Amen.
.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-22-2018 04:25 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

HAAAAAAA!

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-23-2018 10:50 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903

One o' Fred's buddies:



Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-27-2018 06:45 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

Fred humped the wrong leg again!!

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-31-2018 12:33 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903

The dude’s prothesis was made of dogwood. Impossible for Mutt the mutt to resist.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 05-31-2018 01:47 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903
The dame aimed to maim

Kimberly Dunn lost her cool when her soon-to-be ex-husband tried to take the air-conditioning unit out of her Florida home.

So she shot him in the testicles. ...


From here.



Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 06-20-2018 05:44 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

Most men would take a bullet for their wife...but not FROM their wife. That takes balls.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 06-23-2018 02:00 AM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903

...The incident started about 8 a.m., when the masked man, armed with a revolver, came in to Velasquez Mufflers For Less at 2600 N. Laramie Ave. and began demanding money, said Jose Sida, 37, a mechanic.

Employees told him they had little money and couldn't open the safe, so the man left two phone numbers for them to call when the owner returned with the combination, Sida said.

"He said, 'You guys better call me because otherwise I'm going to come back to shoot you,'" Sida said.

Instead, an employee called Chicago police.

Officers dressed in plainclothes came to the shop and told employees to call the man, Sida said. The man returned about noon, wearing the same mask and black clothing and officers told the employees to get to the back of the shop, Sida said. ...
.”

From here.

Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 06-23-2018 06:26 AM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 15198

When I read something like that, it makes me really wonder how evolution actually worked.

__________________
Report this post to a moderator!!!

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 06-23-2018 03:07 PM
GoFuckYourselves! is offline Click Here to See the Profile for GoFuckYourselves! Click here to Send GoFuckYourselves! a Private Message Find more posts by GoFuckYourselves! Add GoFuckYourselves! to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 30903
Finger foods and part dips ...

Oldie, but goodie:

First-year students at the Kansas State School of Veterinarian Medicine were attending their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all
gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor began the class by announcing, "In veterinary medicine,
it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first
is you cannot be disgusted by anything involving an animal's body." To illustrate his point, the instructor pulled back the sheet and stuck his
finger into the cow’s butthole. He then withdrew it and stuck his finger in
his mouth. As he pulled his finger from his mouth, he directed his wide-eyed, slack-jawed students to, "Now, go ahead and do the same thing.”

Freaked, the students hesitated briefly. But, they all eventually took turns sticking a finger into the butthole of the dead cow and sucked on
it. The ritual was promptly followed by assorted gagging, retching and spitting, etc.

After everyone finished wiping their faces, the teacher looked at
them and continued, "The second most important quality is observation. In that regard, I stuck my middle finger into the orifice, but sucked on my index finger. Now, learn to pay attention! Life is tough but it's even tougher if you're stupid.


Amen.

__________________
" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Report this post to a moderator | IP: Logged

Old Post 06-24-2018 06:11 PM
J E B Stuart is offline Click Here to See the Profile for J E B Stuart Click here to Send J E B Stuart a Private Message Visit J E B Stuart's homepage! Find more posts by J E B Stuart Add J E B Stuart to your buddy list [P] Edit/Delete Message Reply w/Quote
All times are GMT. The time now is 09:29 PM. Post New Thread    Post A Reply
Pages (76): « First ... « 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 [76]   Last Thread   Next Thread
Show Printable Version | Email this Page | Subscribe to this Thread

Forum Jump:
 

Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
 

< Contact Us - The Asylum >

Copyright © 2014- Imaginet Inc.
[Legal Notice] | [Privacy Policy] | [Site Index]