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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
As a black man, I want all you privileged whities to suffer and die. As soon as we take over, you'll be our slave bitches.


I suppose you will enslave dead people through zombiefication?

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Old Post 03-11-2018 01:39 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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Listen whitey, when we take over, don't think that after we burn your asses, death will spare you more pain and agony. You will pay mightily for enslaving and murdering us. You won't get off so easily, honkie! Even death won't spare you.

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Old Post 03-11-2018 04:07 PM
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Coincidence
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We might even invent a new genre of music.

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Old Post 03-12-2018 05:37 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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Old Post 03-18-2018 01:24 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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..

Attachment: bang.jpg
This has been downloaded 23 time(s).

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Old Post 03-18-2018 05:01 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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I think in Heaven I will have a manly body with a huge dick.
Then I can prance around nekkid banging everything I see.
And when you tell a woman to make me a sammich they will actually do so.
That's heaven right there.
Right fucking there.
I'm going to be good so I can have this as a reward.
Eating a sammich the woman I'm banging made for me.

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Old Post 03-18-2018 05:14 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
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When you get to heaven do me a favor please? Tell god to go fuck himself!!

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Old Post 03-18-2018 06:25 AM
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Coincidence
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Like flips go to heaven lol. That place is only for whites and jews.

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Old Post 03-18-2018 03:34 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
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That's the Heaven Privilege.

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Old Post 03-18-2018 04:13 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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If I go to heaven I'm going to be a terrorist.

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Old Post 03-18-2018 09:07 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
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quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
I think in Heaven I will have a manly body with a huge dick.
Then I can prance around nekkid banging everything I see.
And when you tell a woman to make me a sammich they will actually do so.
That's heaven right there.
Right fucking there.
I'm going to be good so I can have this as a reward.
Eating a sammich the woman I'm banging made for me.

Grasshoppa? You got part of that right. Yes, when you go tits up, you’ll likely wake up with a big Willie (The tallywacker is referred to as “Willie” in the afterlife). And, you’ll jump to your feet and start prancing around. Nekkid? Of course. For sure, you’ll also bang the first “woman” you see who, oddly, will be a Loretta Doppelgänger. But, you won’t care. FREE poon, homie!

Yowie!, you think. Death sho’ nuff be lookin’ good!

Weeelll, maybe not so good.

Oh. Really?

Okay, grasshoppa. You be the judge. Remember the saying, “There is no FREE lunch”? After thirty seconds of tortured bliss with the Loretta Doppelgänger, you will flop over and immediately commence the deep, appetite-building slumber of a stud who’s just blessed a very lucky Loretta Doppelgänger with some o’ his big Willie. And, it was FREE!

Later, you awaken, rested and ready for a well-deserved sammich. As if guided by heavenly instinct, you snap your fingers and voila! The Loretta Doppelgänger instantly appears with a big sammich on a big platter! And big chips on the side!

Heaven doth rule!”, you mutter giddily under your breath.

You motion to the Loretta Doppelgänger with an aloof, come-hither gesture. She obediently waddles to your side and reverently places the big platter with your big sammich on your lap. You then dismiss her with a wave of your hand, fit for royalty. As she’s backing away in a posture of groveling deference, you grunt, “I require drink, my portly wench!

The Loretta Doppelgänger reappears almost immediately with a large stein of your favorite Walgreens brewski. You’ve already wolfed down several whopping, man-shark sized bites of your big sammich. You need suds to wash it down so your tasty sustenance can be properly compacted for its journey to your turd press.

Wiping the beer foam from your lips, you then ask in a semi-deeply resonant voice of a heavenly manly man, “Hey toots! This is the best sammich I’ve ever had. What’s it called?

Why, it’s ‘The Big Willie’”, she replied.

The smile on her face was not heavenly. No siree. It was evil. Wicked. Demonic.

It took a few seconds for the import of her reply to sink in, but it did. Stopping in mid-chew, you brace for the forthcoming epic projectile hurling session.

The retching eventually turned to dry heaves, which, in time, subsided. Thoroughly depleted from the violently abrupt reversal of your peristalsis, you slowly look up into the eyes of the Loretta Doppelgänger. In a trembling whimper, you stutter, “Bu-bu-bu-but I-I th-thought th-th-th-THIS GODDAMMIT!!! Wa-wa-WAAA-was hu-hi-hi-HEAVEN, ga-ga-guuuh-ga-godDAMMIT!”

The Loretta Doppelgänger does not reply. Oh, no. She just slowly wipes the blood back and forth on her pruning shears, while slightly smiling on one side of her mouth. And the pronounced flare of her nostrils evoke images of a prehistoric carnivore.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

Last edited by J E B Stuart on 03-20-2018 at 11:10 AM

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Old Post 03-20-2018 08:32 AM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

Registered: Feb 2004
Location: in colorado somewhere!
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Why does it have to be Loretta?
Wait never mind that's better than a dude.

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Old Post 03-23-2018 04:33 AM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by Large Filipino
Why does it have to be Loretta?
Wait never mind that's better than a dude.

Don’t worry, grasshoppa. I’m sure you’ll get plenty of quality Heffernan lollipop-time in Hell, too.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 03-23-2018 06:45 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
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I'm sure that in Hell you'll get to meet all the really interesting people. Like serial killers. And evil and barbaric dictators. And obnoxious Asylumnation posters.

Hellooooooo!!

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Old Post 03-26-2018 10:04 AM
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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
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So many chinese and indian people.

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Old Post 03-26-2018 08:17 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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I have to admit that I'm not sure what your point is. Are you suggesting that I think that all Chinese and Indian people are inferior and belong in hell? If so, you could not be more wrong.

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Old Post 04-01-2018 06:09 PM
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J E B Stuart
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I have to admit I have absolutely NO idea what DD’s point is. It’s probably because I am a shallow white male American.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 04-01-2018 06:31 PM
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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
Location: Sun
Posts: 33004

Only people who accepted christ/jehova is going to heaven. How is that in any way hard to understand?

Also, I was SO disappointed that the pope said there's no hell. Sinner souls simply disappear.
WHAT THE FUCK FRANCIS? Is there no standard anymore?

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Old Post 04-02-2018 01:56 PM
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Large Filipino
Fuck me hard in my arse.

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Well because when you are DEAD you have no more feelings so getting burned alive would not hurt. Because you are not being burned alive. You are being burned dead. Then they toss your dust in a cup.

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Old Post 04-04-2018 06:02 AM
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Coincidence
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Registered: Apr 2004
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In a way his cosmology is even more frightening. At least with a hell, you keep your soul and can hope to be roughly cleansed by the demons.

It's not like the clergy actually believed the punishment was eternal. That's just easier for the rabble to understand.

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Old Post 04-05-2018 01:18 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 16449

This thread is hell!

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Old Post 04-06-2018 07:41 PM
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