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J E B Stuart
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Sorry about the pee, Herk. I panicked and while blindly grasping for straws although your cure was in front of us the whole time. It’s Christmas in August!



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-12-2018 09:24 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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The oxygen in here is being depleted.

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Old Post 08-14-2018 01:03 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Dang. Well, some good ol’ haggis is sure to put the wind back in your sails, Herk;

New-School Haggis

adapted from Simply Elegant

1/4 lb beef liver
1 cup steel-cut oats
1/2 lb lamb shoulder, finely chopped
1/2 lb ground beef or bison
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 onions, coarsely grated
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1/2 tsp grated nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground coriander
1 cup beef stock
salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 300°F. Place the liver in a saucepan half filled with cold water; bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes, then set aside to cool. Once cool enough to handle, finely chop the liver.

Toast the oatmeal in a dry skillet set over medium heat until pale golden and fragrant. Place in a medium pot with 2 cups water or stock, bring to a boil and cook for 40 minutes, until tender.

In a large bowl, combine the cooked oats, liver, lamb, beef, butter, onions, garlic, nutmeg, coriander and beef stock; season with salt and pepper and mix everything well using your hands. Transfer to a buttered oven-proof glass or Pyrex bowl and cover tightly with foil.

Place in a roasting pan and pour in water until it comes three-quarters of the way up the side of the bowl. Cook for 3 hours. To serve, remove the foil, place a plate over the bowl and flip it over; serve haggis in wedges, with neeps and tatties (mashed turnips and potatoes).


From here.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:47 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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My mouth is filling with dirt.

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:49 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Jeebus, Herk. You’re not a kid, anymore. Stop eating mud pies. Now! Stop it!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:51 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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With whipped cream, they're delicious.

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Old Post 08-20-2018 04:54 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Ya want me to order you a batch of ‘em from Haiti?



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-20-2018 06:42 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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If I order in bulk, may I get a discount?

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Old Post 08-28-2018 04:17 PM
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J E B Stuart
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They might even accept Monopoly money.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-30-2018 06:49 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Oh goody! That's what I use when I buy my paper from the blind newspaper guy.

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Old Post 08-30-2018 04:32 PM
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J E B Stuart
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We need to get back to your nutrition. Here’s a unique muscle-builder dish sure to please your whole family:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 08-31-2018 06:33 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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When Trump called Africa a shithole, was he referring to countries or to what they eat?

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Old Post 08-31-2018 06:58 AM
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J E B Stuart
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The more salient question is: Why are my rare and exotic gourmet recipes and food suggestions no longer plowing you under? Was it the warthog anus?

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-01-2018 02:32 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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That made me jump right out of the grave and run 10 miles in the other direction! I mean, it killed Anthony Bourdain, let's face it.

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Old Post 09-02-2018 01:46 AM
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J E B Stuart
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You’re working me to dearh, Herk. You need some human breast milk cheeeeese.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-03-2018 07:27 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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I just ran back the 10 miles and hopped back into my grave! Are you happy now?!??

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Old Post 09-03-2018 09:08 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Of course not, Herk. I won’t be happy until you are well! That said, it appears these are now drastic times calling for drastic measures:



Holler if you need some Dickelwee.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-04-2018 07:10 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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I'M HOLLERING!!!!

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Old Post 09-04-2018 09:09 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Hollering? Oh, wait. I get it. You’re hollering for something that should go good with the urine you’re in. No problemo. I’m gonna try to get you a nice, big hunka the world’s oldest cheeeeese:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-04-2018 06:34 PM
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GoFuckYourselves!
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Egypt must stink to high hell. Even worse than the Loretta.

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Old Post 09-08-2018 05:18 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Just hold your nose and it'll be okay. Okay? Okay.

Wellness.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-09-2018 07:28 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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My nose doesn't like being held.

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Old Post 09-09-2018 10:13 AM
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J E B Stuart
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Then cram a coupla marshmallows in each nostril. You’ll need the big marshmallows.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 09-10-2018 05:03 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

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The size of my nose is nothing to sneeze at.

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Old Post 09-10-2018 01:11 PM
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J E B Stuart
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quote:
Originally posted by GoFuckYourselves!
The size of my nose is nothing to sneeze at.

Then some pig snout jelly is sure to please not only your tummy, but your nose, as well:



Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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