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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28514
Happy Birthday, fag!

Happy Birthday, dinglioid! I hope paintipoo finally comes through and gives you that “holy glory hole experience” he’s been promising you all these years. Surely, all would agree you’ve earned it and deserve it.

Or, that jackass wonderaz can send Loretta over to load your musket. Again.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-11-2018 07:11 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28514

Hey dingle! I know you’re super, super busy, So I took it upon myself to see to it that your birthday had a proper happy ending. Yep, I just got back from The Chicken Ranch. And I must say, what a superbly gorgeous bunch of ladies! Lord have mercy.

Anyway, I walked in. I introduced myself to Miss Kitty as dingle and told her it’s my birthday. I also added that I’d just got outta the slammer for stompin’ the stuffin’s outta that jackass wonderaz. Oh yeah, they know the jackass. FYI, he’d stolen one of my monthly checks a year or so ago and went there to party. Well. No surprise that the jackass made the most gawd-awful, horrible mess you could possibly imagine. Sure, they threw him out, but the damage had been done. They had to close shop for several days while the hazmat crew and painters did their thing.

Well, I’m humbly pleased to report that, as your birthday proxy, I partied like it was 1999.

I know, I know, but no thanks are necessary, my friend. After all, what are pals for? My reward is the knowledge your birthday had the happiest possible ending imaginable. Several, in fact.

My work is done. Until next year, my good man ... .

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-11-2018 08:50 PM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28514

Dingle, let’s be clear - do not not assume for one minute that, even though I’m the only one posting in your birthday thread, no one else has celebrated yours. Oh, indeed they have and those who aren’t in jail still are.

Especially grasshoppa. He’s been playing “Born Free” over and over, while sucking down free packs o’ ketchups and sugars. Admittedly unconventional, but it is a rather creative effort, regardless. Gotta admire his spunk.

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-13-2018 03:56 AM
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J E B Stuart
Administrator

Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
Posts: 28514

Dingus, just so you know how committed I am to celebrating your birthday properly, I acquired six boxes of Dickel. Oh Lord and Lordy, Lordy. WHAT A BIRTHDAY!

You da man, dinger! You da man!

Amen.

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-13-2018 05:07 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 13053

But Uncle Jeb, you're ALWAYS bringing home boxes of Dickle. His birthday has nothing to do with it!

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Old Post 01-13-2018 07:03 PM
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J E B Stuart
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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Beyond Mason-Dixon Line
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George is code for therapy, nephew. My therapist, George Dickel.

Amen

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" Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background of countless minor scenes and interiors, (not the official surface courteousness of the Generals, not the few great battles) of the Secession war; and it is best they should not�the real war will never get in the books." ~ Walt Whitman

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Old Post 01-14-2018 05:44 AM
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GoFuckYourselves!
#1 Asylum Dumbfuck!

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: Dumbfucksville!
Posts: 13053

But you've been seeing him for years!

And he hasn't helped!

He must be a fraud! Where did he get his degree? Sears?

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Old Post 01-14-2018 06:46 AM
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